Two-Headed Snake Bully Nurse

[Milkofamnesia02]

I recently returned to ICU after a seven year hiatus. I was stressed at first but was gaining more confidence. However a few weeks ago I made a medication error. I don’t know how it happened. Hanging continuous drip bags were hung at different times and somehow swapped on the lines. IDK if they were already wrong and I followed suit or if I did it by not following my channel up the line to the bag. I recall scanning the bags and comparing the labels but I didn’t follow the line down to the channel. The channels were also labeled and programmed. It was my third day in a row with the patient so I was tired and comfortable with what was going on. Patient was sedated and paralyzed and intubated. Anyway on my first day off my boss called me at home to let me know after I left the error was discovered and asked what could have happened. I was totally confused and upset as I have never made an error so big in over 20 years of nursing. She was nice and told me to take it as a learning experience but let it go and move on. I did just that although later on I did apologize to the night nurse behind me who was very cool about it.

The other day I get a phone call from a friend who knows an ex coworker of mine. I’m told to be careful and don’t get close to my coworkers because they were gossiping and my name came up. She didn’t know who said what or exactly what was said. I said OK and resolved to keep everyone at arms length, keep my head up, and just try not to be noticed and do my job.

The next morning I get a very nasty anonymous text on my personal cell basically saying I lied about my background and I’m a ****** nurse. I can’t think of anything that could have provoked this other than the med error and I suspect it was the nurse that was charge that day. I can’t even address the person who is doing all this because I don’t know who it is. I just don’t want things to get worse. Any words of wisdom? Thank you.

[NO JOKES OR PUNS ALLOWED, BSN, RN]

As someone who has worked with three morons who would gladly put you in harm's way just to make you look bad, I can relate. The people saying, "Don't give them the satisfaction of a reaction!' have never had coworkers pressure them to drink a weird mystery coffee at work, found the settings on a patient's lines mysteriously messed with, had their lunches tampered in, reported constantly to the charge nurse for real or imagined things, the light bulbs removed on the stairways they take, or a million of the weird, nasty things that are hard to articulate or just implausible, just are out of their depths, but they mean well. They actually think a coworker would never try to ruin their lives or kill them, presumably because it never happened to them.  You are now a privileged member of Victims of High Effort, High Energy Destruction. ? My advice is as follows:

1) If you don't know exactly who it is, I have good news. It's probably a single person or two driving the "Destroy You" train. In my particular hellscape, it was three women. They attempted to make me feel like it was the whole unit who hated me, including the manager, supervisors, etc. It was, in reality, just a mid level provider and two nurses. You might not be able to figure out who it is if they aren't social morons, but bullies usually aren't social geniuses, because there's no need to bully anyone for a social genius.  Build relationships with people who want the best for you.

2) Absolutely alert the manager. Even if it is the manager, you follow the chain of command. On the off chance it was the manager, I would say the person who messed with or failed to mess with the lines needs to be punished. Most cameras inside your ICU rooms do not continually record, but if management can see who went in the patient's room that shift, it's something to consider. If she's doing it, it's a nice opportunity for her to realize she can't do it with impunity. 

3) If weird stuff happens again (and my own experience got worse after the line swap), don't be afraid to go to the critical care director. Because even if you're existing in some weird fugue where you never trace a line and just constantly ignore and miss things, I think you should trust yourself more and bring it to the director's attention, rather than someone else putting the eyes of Sauron upon you.

4) Also might have been someone else trying to burn dayshift. Just a thought. Let her know, too.

[JKL33]

6 hours ago, NO JOKES OR PUNS ALLOWED said:

The people saying, "Don't give them the satisfaction of a reaction!' have never had coworkers pressure them to drink a weird mystery coffee at work, found the settings on a patient's lines mysteriously messed with, had their lunches tampered in, reported constantly to the charge nurse for real or imagined things, the light bulbs removed on the stairways they take, or a million of the weird, nasty things that are hard to articulate or just implausible, just are out of their depths, but they mean well. They actually think a coworker would never try to ruin their lives or kill them, presumably because it never happened to them.

That is an interesting assessment given that you don't know what we have or haven't experienced.

Pressured to drink mystery coffee? No, you're right I would never have experienced that because they can't pressure me in that way. But had my patient care messed with? Yes. Been reported for something that wasn't true? Yes. I don't think any of my coworkers have tried to kill me, and I don't think most cowards who are involved in bullying coworkers are trying to kill anyone. They are cowards after all. Hence the advice given.

Secondly, when one knows (or strongly suspects) that someone has tampered with something, that is a very different situation than what was presented in the OP. The OP's impression seems to be that coworkers are now causing trouble based on the fact that the OP made a mistake so must be incompetent. THAT is the situation posters are replying to.  All we are saying is that if a few coworkers are jerks because of one mistake, ignore them.

It is possible that someone tampered with those lines. If the OP suspects that, then yes the answer is different and my response would be more along the line of what I did....when that kind of thing happened to me.

 

[nursel56]

7 hours ago, NO JOKES OR PUNS ALLOWED said:

As someone who has worked with three morons who would gladly put you in harm's way just to make you look bad, I can relate. The people saying, "Don't give them the satisfaction of a reaction!' have never had coworkers pressure them to drink a weird mystery coffee at work, found the settings on a patient's lines mysteriously messed with, had their lunches tampered in, reported constantly to the charge nurse for real or imagined things, the light bulbs removed on the stairways they take, or a million of the weird, nasty things that are hard to articulate or just implausible, just are out of their depths, but they mean well. They actually think a coworker would never try to ruin their lives or kill them, presumably because it never happened to them.  You are now a privileged member of Victims of High Effort, High Energy Destruction. ? My advice is as follows:

1) If you don't know exactly who it is, I have good news. It's probably a single person or two driving the "Destroy You" train. In my particular hellscape, it was three women. They attempted to make me feel like it was the whole unit who hated me, including the manager, supervisors, etc. It was, in reality, just a mid level provider and two nurses. You might not be able to figure out who it is if they aren't social morons, but bullies usually aren't social geniuses, because there's no need to bully anyone for a social genius.  Build relationships with people who want the best for you.

2) Absolutely alert the manager. Even if it is the manager, you follow the chain of command. On the off chance it was the manager, I would say the person who messed with or failed to mess with the lines needs to be punished. Most cameras inside your ICU rooms do not continually record, but if management can see who went in the patient's room that shift, it's something to consider. If she's doing it, it's a nice opportunity for her to realize she can't do it with impunity. 

3) If weird stuff happens again (and my own experience got worse after the line swap), don't be afraid to go to the critical care director. Because even if you're existing in some weird fugue where you never trace a line and just constantly ignore and miss things, I think you should trust yourself more and bring it to the director's attention, rather than someone else putting the eyes of Sauron upon you.

4) Also might have been someone else trying to burn dayshift. Just a thought. Let her know, too.

If the OP had described anything remotely approximating your experiences, I would not, and I feel confident many others would not advise that the victim should ignore the behavior, especially in the instance of patient's lines being messed with, and having your food tampered with.  

I'm not a lawyer, but I suspect both of those could be criminal acts as well as seriously psycho levels of harrassment-- well beyond a nasty anonymous text.  

In the two jobs I have had that were so toxic I had to resign as an act of self-preservation, a manager or supervisor was the ringleader so-to-speak.  Their little bit of power and latent personality disorders were a very bad mix.

I believe that you should alert your manager and possibly HR and share the threatening text message, the number that it originated from and the ominous message verbalized to you about the gossip.  This is not a work environment phenomenon that should be ignored. IMHO

[Laine]

I agree.  I would not suck it up and ignore the behavior.

The text was childish and mean and whoever sent it needs to have his or her behavior checked or it will continue. 

I would research the number to possibly find the perpetrator and forward it to your manager. I would keep records. 

I would not approach the person myself. 

Otherwise keep your cool, as others said nurture friendships with good colleagues and continue being the good nurse that I'm sure you are. 

I've never in over 40 years of nursing met one who had never made a mistake. 

I've been in a couple of jobs where one or two people have made my life miserable. 

One position I eventually had to leave but waited until I had a near mental breakdown because the place had become so toxic. 

If you don't get the support you need, don't hesitate to move on. Don't stay in a job in which you dread going in for your shifts.  There are better people and places out there.  Life is short. Don't put up with abuse.

[Milkofamnesia02, BSN]

39 minutes ago, Laine said:

I agree.  I would not suck it up and ignore the behavior.

The text was childish and mean and whoever sent it needs to have his or her behavior checked or it will continue. 

I would research the number to possibly find the perpetrator and forward it to your manager. I would keep records. 

I would not approach the person myself. 

Otherwise keep your cool, as others said nurture friendships with good colleagues and continue being the good nurse that I'm sure you are. 

I've never in over 40 years of nursing met one who had never made a mistake. 

I've been in a couple of jobs where one or two people have made my life miserable. 

One position I eventually had to leave but waited until I had a near mental breakdown because the place had become so toxic. 

If you don't get the support you need, don't hesitate to move on. Don't stay in a job in which you dread going in for your shifts.  There are better people and places out there.  Life is short. Don't put up with abuse.

I haven’t said anything to anyone. I feel like it’s pointless when I don’t know the perpetrator and I don’t want my boss giving a lecture to everyone in the next meeting about being nice to each other. I feel like it annoys the person more that I haven’t responded although I got my revenge in my own secret way. I can’t say what happened, but let’s just say this person deleted their fake Google number and might shy away from being an a-hole for a little bit. 

[Stillcrazyafteralltheseyears]

That’s what they call a drive by. Won’t say it to your face so you’re left with it in the back of your mind all day. I hated those kind of actions by some nurses. You know nursing is a sisterhood and we should all be honoring one another for sharing the work we do. Look at that person that she is an immature troublemaker and she will make mistakes. We are human and trash talking about others degrades all of us. Ignore the text you are a good nurse with 20 years experience. I wish I could work with you.(

 

 

 

 

[By-a-thred, RN, ADN]

Is the number of the text available to you to research, say, on the staff phone list? Knowing who the toxic individual is would be helpful in avoiding further contact. 

 

[Jedrnurse, BSN, RN]

4 hours ago, By-a-thred, RN said:

Is the number of the text available to you to research, say, on the staff phone list? Knowing who the toxic individual is would be helpful in avoiding further contact. 

 

I think OP said something about it being a temporary Google "ghost" account.

[Robmoo, ADN, BSN, RN]

Will any of this matter in ten years?  Block the number from the text message and soldier on.  It sounds like you are doing a good job.  Regarding the error, just keep a look out and double check the drips.  Anyone can make a mistake.  Better to catch it yourself and as early as possible. 

If you find proof that someone is sabotaging you take it to HR.  Save that text message.  If you get another, take both of them to HR.  You don't need to play PI.  HR will have everyone's cell number.  The behavior was out of bounds.  Let HR deal with it.   HR will deal with it because no organization wants a lawsuit over a hostile work environment.

 

[mimibrown, ADN, BSN]

I hate this kind of stuff. Sorry that you are dealing with this foolishness. I realized with people who behave this way, there is something wrong with them internally. They are negative and don’t have anything meaningful in their lives, so they try to tear people down. After all, misery loves company. I agree to not give them a reaction.

You can always do bedside report to check lines and meds if you really think someone sabotaged you. Definitely keep a record of dates and times of any incidents.

[42pines]

There is no such thing as an anonymous text.  In most states (state law is pertinent) harassment is a crime.  In some cases even one nasty text, if it should interfere with your career, for instance, is enough.  (Again, the level which the harassment must rise to is controlled by state law).  Especially if it continues, contact a lawyer.  The lawyer will subpoena the owner of the phone and the sender will be charged with a crime.  I would find such a text so distressing, I'd quit that job for fear of what the sender will do next, for instance, set you up on the job...  Scary and nasty.