Twelve Days of Kittens

Nurses Humor


Twelve Days of Kittens

On the first day of Christmas, my kitten ruined for me...

A batch of my special hand-print cookies. I had turned my back to grab the cookie sheet sitting on the stove. In that micro-second, Sara climbed onto the table, poked her paw into the delightfully kneady mixture and, suddenly off-balance, fell into the cookie dough. Net loss? Six cups of flour, four cups of sugar, three sticks of butter.... Of course, it would have been cheaper to remove the feline ingredient, pick out the hairs, and just rename the recipe Paw Print Cookies.

On the second day of Christmas, my kitten accompanied me....

On a trip to the vet clinic. Who knew that skinny curling ribbon has feline taste appeal? I didn't. Damages: $28 for the office visit, $36 for anesthesia so the veterinarian could take $55 X-rays in case Sara had taste-tested any other Christmas decorations, and a heck of a lot of embarrassment when the vet removed the 3' curly *tail* in slightly less than two seconds by tugging at it with a pair of tweezers.

On the third day of Christmas, my kitten wrecked for me...

13 ornaments on my Christmas tree. My mistake was forgetting to chain the decorations to the branches. My other error was leaving the room to go to the bathroom while Sara feigned sleeping under the tree. How was I to know the was actually measuring its climbing potential? Value of broken bulbs? 7.50 plus tax.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my kitten broke for me...

A statue in my Lenox Nativity. Would you believe two Wise men plus a head? Lenox nativity figurines: $55.99

On the fifth day of Christmas, my kitten scratched for me...

The kid across the street who collects for charity. It was an accident. She merely wanted to reach out and touch someone. Unfortunately, she used a unsheathed claw to do so. I settled out-of-court for the cost of a jacket to replace the boy's blood stained one and a hefty donation to the charity of their choice. Although the amount must remain secret according to our settlement, let me put it this way. You haven't seen many soldiers for the Salvation Army this year, have you? Think: Major Windfall!

On the sixth day of Christmas, my kitten opened for me...

The presents beneath my Christmas tree. It was only two, really. While doing some early shopping at a discount store, I purchased a catnip mouse for Sara's stocking. Apparently, anything in the same bag as catnip takes on its potent aroma for a very long time. Replacement costs: $3.99 for another roll of Christmas wrapping paper, $4.50 for two empty boxes, $1 each for the kind of bows Sara can't unravel.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my kitten lost for me...

The earrings I bought for my sister Mary. Actually, it was one earring but since Mary doesn't have a hole in her nose or navel, a pair of matching earrings does make a more appealing gift. Sale price: $29.95 plus tax.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my kitten helped me...

Replace my E and G guitar strings. Would you believe a kitten could fit into the itty-bitty hole in the middle of my Yamaha guitar? Neither could I, but Sara thought so. And she succeeded once she got those rascally strings out of the way. Unfortunately, her little rear end couldn't get out the way I came in. After paying through the whiskers for her previous escapades, I would have been willing to leave her in the guitar for the duration of the holiday season, except that she chose to get stuck two hours before I was due at the nursing home for our annual Christmas carol sing-a-long. Set of steel guitar strings: $12.95; jar of petroleum jelly: 79 cents.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my kitten destroyed for me...

My Christmas card list when she walked across my computer's delete key. Cost for call to Computer Country's 900/help line: $17.50. And I still don't know what happened to the listings of B through H.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my kitten hid from me.....

The remote control from my 13-inch TV. This wouldn't be such a disaster if she hadn't previously stolen the power knob. I missed a week's worth of Christmas specials, including my all-time favorite, "It's a Wonderful Life." Rental of "It's a Wonderful Life": $2; purchase of book, "Good owners, great cats": $24.95. Unfortunately, it never mentions the psychological profile of kittens with kleptomania.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my kitten ate for me.....

The drumsticks off my 19-pound turkey. OK,OK, So this one time it was my fault. I knew I never should have uttered those now infamous words: "Your first turkey, Sara. Want to try just a little piece?" Cost: Christmas Dinner.

On the 12th day of Christmas........

Sara rested. And so, thank goodness, did my VISA card.

Specializes in Med-surg; OB/Well baby; pulmonology; RTS.

:rotfl: :rotfl:

suzy253, RN

3,815 Posts

Specializes in Telemetry/Med Surg.

How funny (and true!) :)


35 Posts

:roll :chuckle Yep...mischievous kitty............


65 Posts

lol:chuckle :rotfl: :chuckle :rotfl: :chuckle :rotfl: what a mischevious kitty


291 Posts

Specializes in ER, ICU, Corrections.

I could do the same thing with my puppy.....lets see how many things has he destroyed since he came to live with me and he is only 5 months old.....:lol2: :lol2: :wink2:

Specializes in Med-surg > LTC > HH >.

I'm sitting here in the middle of the night catching up here at allnurses and my 9 week old kitten keeps attacking my computer screen and keyboard as I type. But oh nooooo!!!!!! that isn't as bad as it gets. I was just getting my bedtime insulin ready to draw up, when I realized I needed an alcohol pad, ran to the bathroom to get it. I left my insulin on the computer desk and came back and my kitten had lost my insulin. About 10 minutes later I hear him fussing with something and he is pawing my insulin under the computer desk.:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: Only thing wrong with that is it was a new vial of insulin and I threw it out because of those germy little kitty paw. I just adore my little "jazzy g" too much to be mad:devil: . Lesson 2 me, put insulin back in my med bag before leaving my computer desk.;) :lol2: :D

Mimi2RN, ASN, RN

1,142 Posts

Specializes in NICU.

We decided not to decorate a Chrismas tree this year due to our three feline boys. Glad we didn't, as last year we only had one kitten, and the tree was denuded for about 2 1/2 ft from the bottom. I did go out and buy a fiber-optic one, 32" high. Several times I found it knocked over....and it was on a box, that was hidden by the red skirt, and on a little table.

I bought them a 6 foot cat condo/tree on ebay, they love it!


291 Posts

Specializes in ER, ICU, Corrections.

After many times of putting things away that I thought my little boy was going to get into I thought I had him under control...well the other day I got home from work and there was a cardboard box that I didn't know that he could get to and he not only bit it apart but he shredded it in a thousand pieces.....He is going to the groomers tonight so I am cleaning up the whole house tonight and tomorrow he will come home to a clean house again.....:lol2:

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