Too sensitive to be a nurse?

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I'm really concerned that my sensitive nature will make it difficult for me to be a good nurse. Recently I had a few incidents with animals dying while in my care, and I didn't handle myself well AT ALL. About 2 years ago, I adopted a kitten and two days later she passed away (apparently had some kind of bacterial infection). Over the course of those two days, I took the kitten to the vet four times (sent home each time with new remedies to try), and had to watch the kitten suffer until she was finally too weak/sick and had to be taken back in to be euthanized. My husband had to take her in because I couldn't handle it, and I cried for weeks afterwards.

A few weeks ago we took in a pregnant cat, and last week she had her kittens... 2 of them were stillborn, and I couldn't even bring myself to look at them or remove them from the box. Again, my husband had to take them to the animal shelter. And yesterday, one of the kittens somehow suffered some trauma (he had swelling in the head and labored breathing). As soon as I realized something was wrong with him, I had my husband rush him to the vet. He didn't survive, and I'm still hysterical in tears about it.

I have a little over one year left in my BSN program, and because of these experiences I've had, I'm seriously doubting that I'm cut out to handle the nursing profession. I love nursing, and I'm absolutely fascinated by everything I'm learning.

I'm really hoping my oversensitivity to kittens doesn't doom me for a career in nursing. It's a good thing I didn't follow through with my childhood dream to be a veterinarian!

Any input, advice, etc would be GREATLY appreciated!!

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Specializes in Critical Care/Coronary Care Unit,.

People and animals that you take into your home are two different things. You view an animal that you take in as part of your family. I personally don't view my patients as family...they're patients that I'm doing my best to take care of. If you're a nurse who wants to keep her sanity, you don't take your patients home with you. The first patient that dies on you will definitely choke you up. However, you'll get more used to it with time. You'll see that most nurses have developed their own ways to deal with their dying patients...most have a somewhat twisted sense of humor.... but it's how we cope. There will still be times where you lose a patient and it really gets to you, but that's just part of nursing. If you don't like acute care nursing, you can always work in a clinic or doctor's office.

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If death in general really bothers you, then don't work in a specialty where death is prevalent. No ERs, no ICU, no H/O. Try something like community health, school nursing, etc. In any field of nursing, you may experience death, but most facilities have some sort of employee assistance program or a chaplain you can speak to. Also, animals and patients are different. I loooove my dogs and could NEVER work with animals for the same reason. I could not deal with animal death or neglect or abuse. However, working with people does not affect me the same.

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Specializes in LTC currently.

I think you will be fine, I think after a while, you will be able to cope with the things you experience in nursing. Besides nursing is so diverse that if you dont find your niche in hospital nursing for instance, you can try other fields of nursing.

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Thank you soooo much everyone. Your comments are definitely helping to restore my confidence a bit. I appreciate all of the encouragement!!

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As someone already mentioned, you can pick a specialty area where death and dying are not commonplace. Day surgery, GI lab, postpartum, clinics, schools, offices, and many others are possibilities.

But even so, there is no guarantee that you will not be touched by tragic circumstances. I work postpartum, and while it is most often a happy place, I have taken care of moms who have lost their babies. Believe me, you really feel for them. And yet you have to control over your emotions well enough that your own needs don't overshadow the patient's.

What I would suggest is that you talk to someone (a counselor or trusted instructor) or do some journaling to see what is behind your heightened emotional reaction. Are you truly just extremely sensitive? Or is there some unfinished business in there, a death or dying experience that is weighing you down? Are there, perhaps, unspoken fears that need expression and attention? Is there a way for you to face whatever is magnifying your reaction and dial your reactions down to a manageable level?

I believe most of us work to strike a balance between being overwhelmed by our emotions and walling ourselves off from emotional pain, because it's easy to veer to one side or the other. But I encourage anyone who finds themselves headed for either extreme to take an internal inventory and address anything they find that keeps them from functioning at their best.

Best wishes in working through this.

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I don't think your sensitivity to pets has any bearing on how good of a nurse you will be. Those nurses who said that you will get used to death are incorrect, anytime a patient you have taken care of dies, it will be hard to deal with. However, over time it will get easier, and you will grow more accoustmed to it. The main thing you have to keep in mind was that the patient did not die because of things you did or did not do. The patient died because they were too sick, sought treatment too late, or because they had battled their disease as long as they possibly could. I also don't think you have to avoid critical care areas just because you are sensitive to animal deaths. To tell you the truth, there are times when patients die and I am not as upset as I was when my dog died. That sounds cold and cruel, but if you have only been taking care of a patient for a few hours, and they are very sick and you are prepared for the death, it doesn't hurt as much. However, if you haven taken care of a patient for a considerable time and they die suddenly, it comes as a much greater shock. I think you should stick with nursing, graduate, and go find a job. That way you can find out firsthand if nursing is for you, and you'll never have to say "what if." Good luck!

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Thank you, Miranda. You offered some very insightful advice. I do know that while I am a very sensitive person (I'm known for crying at Hallmark commercials and the occasional Full House rerun), I do have some preexisting emotional issues when it comes to animals... when I was about 9 years old, I accidentally ran over a 4 week old kitten with a rocking chair. I'll never forget how horrible and guilty I felt because I was the one who was responsible (although looking back, I can see it was just a freak accident). I placed a lot of blame on myself for that one. I haven't sat in a rocking chair since, and I also haven't found a way to deal with animal (especially BABY animal) death better either.

Thank you again. I'm definitely going to investigate myself further, and hopefully I'll learn some coping mechanisms so that I can handle the whole dying process a little better. And if not, I will certainly pursue a nursing position where death isn't quite so prevalent.

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Specializes in ER.

You'll grow out of that, to some degree. Just like new nurses to the profession feel sorry for narc seeking chronic back pain patients at first. Things change over time, exposure, etc. I feel more sorry for animals at times than I do people because animals can't talk or help themselves.

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People and animals that you take into your home are two different things. You view an animal that you take in as part of your family. I personally don't view my patients as family...they're patients that I'm doing my best to take care of. If you're a nurse who wants to keep her sanity, you don't take your patients home with you. The first patient that dies on you will definitely choke you up. However, you'll get more used to it with time. You'll see that most nurses have developed their own ways to deal with their dying patients...most have a somewhat twisted sense of humor.... but it's how we cope. There will still be times where you lose a patient and it really gets to you, but that's just part of nursing. If you don't like acute care nursing, you can always work in a clinic or doctor's office.

I totally agree with this post. The animals were taken into the home...you can survive nursing if you don't take patients home with you.

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Specializes in LTC, Memory loss, PDN.

Think about it. If this would disqualify you from becoming a good nurse, what would this mean or say about all the great nurses out there.

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Specializes in Home health was tops, 2nd was L&D.

Being sensitive about your pets dying or members of your family dying is to be expected. I do not think this would be cause for concern as a nurse. Yes, you will be sad and may even cry if a patient dies but your bond to a patient is different. Not better or worse, just different. I think if you encounter if in your career and are unable to deal then you should seek counseling. If it truly is an issue then try to work in a field where patients do not usually die.

I have been RN for 23 yrs and never had a patient die on me yet. But dealing with both my parents dying last year is overwhelming at this time. I have had patients die just not in my presence and yes I have been able to deal with it well even if we had been close.

I suggest you wait till it occurs and handle it as best you can and seek help if needed. :redpinkhe

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