Too cheerful to be a nurse?

JDZ344 · Nov 15, 2013

I'm a final year student nurse and my mentor feels that I come across as overly cheerful, and that my patients see this as immature and unprofessional. She's raised it as a fairly serious issue, and has suggested I need to learn how to "adapt my personality" and generally tone things down, as there have been complaints about me.
I'm devastated that something so fundamentally 'me' is upsetting my patients so much: I had always thought that my communication skills and generally getting on well with people are my main strengths. As much as I try to adapt based on the situation and patient's personalities - of course there are times it would be horribly inappropriate to start cracking jokes - I hadn't thought I had misjudged things this badly.
Can anyone offer any insight or suggestions for improving?

Sorry that happened to you

chrisrn24 · Nov 15, 2013

Maybe it's a polite way of saying your voice is too "bouncy" or positive. I have a coworker who whenever she walks into a room yells "hello!" like she is a teenager seeing her best friends. It's immature. I actually thought she was much younger than her years because of that.

Still be yourself but perhaps, when you talk with patients, tone down the pitch of your voice.

Eta - these patients are sick, and many don't always want a "cheerleader" in their room, they want a quiet presence who knows what he/she is doing.

DoeRN · Nov 15, 2013

It might be your voice. I worked with a nurse who had a very high pitched voice and the patients were complaining about her voice. They thought she was nice (she really wasn't she just sounded nice if that makes sense) but her voice made her sound like a little girl. She actually had to end up taking speech therapy and it did help her a lot. She wanted to become an NP and a couple people were upfront with her about her voice.

And to be honest ask the instructor what exactly is the reason why she feels this way? And ask for suggestions.

Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com

Nola009 · Nov 15, 2013

Well, nursing instructors are known to pick apart students sometimes. That being said, I would still ask for suggestions. As previous posters mentioned, your pts could probably use some quiet reassurance, not someone who seems so happy and smitten that it makes them feel even worse about their own state. There is nothing wrong with being happy, but your cheeriness might come across as inappropriate for the situations you are dealing with. Like laughing at a funeral, it doesn't come across well. Just tone it down and continue to be kind. I think a cheery nurse is much better than a grouchy mean one!

Altra, BSN, RN · Nov 16, 2013

Your demeanor and communication style may well have worked up until this point in your life, in the interpersonal situations you have encountered. The nurse's role, particularly in acute care, can include constant monitoring, complex medication/treatment regimens, coordination of pretty much all that goes on with the patient, advocacy, education, and behavior modification. It does call for a fair amount of maturity. While personalities run the gamut, usually successfully, if this has been called to your attention you'd be wise to consider making some changes.

blackvans1234 · Nov 18, 2013

I had a nursing instructor (maternity nurse for umpteen years who was teacing a Medsurg clinical) tell me that I was too friendly with my patients. Like I shouldn't get to know them etc.

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · Nov 18, 2013

Your demeanor and communication style may well have worked up until this point in your life in the interpersonal situations you have encountered. The nurse's role, particularly in acute care, can include constant monitoring, complex medication/treatment regimens, coordination of pretty much all that goes on with the patient, advocacy, education, and behavior modification. It does call for a fair amount of maturity. While personalities run the gamut, usually successfully, if this has been called to your attention you'd be wise to consider making some changes.[/quote']
This...tweak your communication style, not YOU.
Hone your "cheerfulness" into an aura of positivity...I've had people think of me as a bubbly personality, I'm really not sure why however, my actions with my "nursing personality" convey a more "positive" aura, yet very methodical and very assertive than me being "bubbly"; there are times where I can laugh and enjoy banter with my patients; some days may be a struggle, and the "bubble" is not there; I DON'T want to cheer them up; I want them to work through and I am there to give them that respect.

turningred15 · Nov 18, 2013

I see nothing wrong with being cheerful. It lets patients know you love your job and have a positive attitude.

It sounds like you are aware there are times when you must adapt this cheerfulness to the situation.

If every nurse was happy and cheerful I think that would be great!

krisiepoo · Nov 18, 2013

I sometimes think that our instructors project feelings onto the patients by way of how they feel... I doubt a patient actually said that about you, however the instructor may have noticed the patient looking at you weird if you came in with pom poms.

I think there's a fine line between being cheerful and being happy. I wouldn't want bubbly in my room if I was sick, but that's my personality, too. I would want someone respectful and nice

The good news is, you have time to modify your presentation with patients and when you graduate you have that idea in the back of your head but get to be who you want to be :)

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Nov 18, 2013

There is also a fine line between being cheerful and happy and appearing giddy and immature. No one is aslking you to change who you are kust moderate your demeanor a little when in the hospital setting.