To all the mothers: Day Care Advice (long)

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Hello Allnurses!

I just got accepted into Midwestern State's BSN Program for the fall. The school is a 150 miles from my parents house, which I reside, so of course I'm moving. I have a soon to be 3 month old little boy =) I do have a babysitter down here who has been watching my nephew until he was able to go to school as well as my niece. They are now 6 and 7. She is currently keeping my other niece who is 20 months old. She is wonderfullll. And plus she is a great family friend. Now seeing how I will move, I have nobody to watch my son when needed. My bf is currently in jail for something he didn't do, no he isnt a dead beat and whatever else you might be thinking. He goes to court on the 23rd of this month, so I'm not sure what will happen, if they have to reset his court date again, or he goes to trial or whatever, the point is, I don't know if he will be out in time when school starts. So my question is to all the mothers, or even Aunties who have custody of their nieces, nephews, anybody with children, or who have experiece with children, how do you pick a day care. My sister advised me to go to the Child Protective Services website and look at all the day cares and people who do child care throught out their homes and look at their ratings. She said pay attention to how long they have been in business, how long they have had their issuance of their license, and the ratings. After 7 pages of day cares and people, I have narrowed it down to 5. Four are licensed day cares and they have been in business from 1986, 1988, 1996, and 1998. No violations, no complaints, passed inspection. Then I have another woman, she is registered does child care from her home, has been doing business since 1998, no violations, no complaints, passed inspection. I need help on choosing. How do I go about this? Do I go set up a visit? What questions should I ask? Any suggestions and advice would help. I think I can narrow it down to three, because I know I will be in clinicals and those start around 6:30-6:45 right? And two of those don't take children until 7AM. The woman in her house starts at 6AM until 6PM, the other two are 6:30-5:30. Please help me out. I'm terrrrrrrrrrified of day cares. There is always a story on the news "we're sorry, we didn't know we left little Billy in the van", or "omgsh, i don't know how he fell" or "i didn't hit him T H A T hard". I know mothers can really understand what I'm coming from. So please help me out. I will be so appreciative. Hopefully, my bf will be out in time, so I won't have to go through any of this, but if he's not I need help. Please keep us in your prayers.

-Prettyladie.

Is there any way you can get the names of others in the nursing class? I am sure some of them have kids too and maybe this would help you out. Maybe even some of the nursing instructors have kids and could offer a reccomendation of who they use for childcare. Then, of course, do all of the legal checking, etc. Good luck. I am happy to hear you want to be a nurse and I hope it works out for you. Be very careful. I always was lucky enough to find an arrangement for my kids with someone who was known to me or a trusted family member. Make sure you ask if there are large pets (I love dogs, but be careful. My one little older doggie would need to be away from kids as they get on his nerves.) and firearms. These two things make me nervous. If someone has really big dogs or guns in the house, to me it is a no. I know others might feel differently. I asked one daycare provider this many years ago. She said it was none of my business and I told her then you do not have my business. Good luck!

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Specializes in Emergency.

thanks madsmommy and imenid. i appreciate the feedback. i have done all the legal things as far as being on the CPS website and looking at what each daycare has to offer. and i narrowed it down to 5 and they had the best ratings and no complaints. my mother and sister told me to call the school and ask if they have any recommendations of daycares. nobody on allnurses has been accepted to Midwestern, so i cant really talk to anybody. But I'm trying to find for people.

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I didn't legally marry my childrens' father until the oldest was 9 years old and I still called him my "husband." It was nobody's business, but it saved a lot of explaining.

I was an LPN/LVN, I was proud to be an LPN/LVN and I'll never let anyone take it away from me. I made a better RN because of it.

As for thinking God is only on your side, this is not exactly a rational way to make decisions, when you consider the millions who think God is on their side who meet their doom anyway.

Be careful, it looks like a straight up road ahead.You'll miss a lot of time with your baby in the process, but I know what it's like to be he(( bent on doing something.

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Specializes in Emergency.

I think having God on my side is a rationale way to make decisions. So please don't try to chastize my faith. I didn't say he was only on my side. He is on lots of people's sides. That is what he does. If you don't give up on him, he will not give up on you. And how dare you say I'm going to meet my doom. I'm not calling somebody my husband, if HE IS NOT my husband. And being an LVN/LPN may have personally worked for you, and made you a better RN, but that's not the pathway I'm trying to go on. I will only miss the time that I'm in school away from my child. Because when i get home he'll be there. That goes for anybody who is working who has kids. It's not like I will be gone for 24 hours. You don't know me or my situation, so don't try to make this personal. I'm just asking for advice on how to choose a good daycare, not what educational goals I should be taking, or how much time will be lost, or my faith. So let's not try to get this more off topic than it is.

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Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Education.

First of all, congratulations on being accepted at Midwestern!

Sounds like you're on the right track to finding a childcare provider. The differences between listed, registered, & licensed have to do with the number of children the provider is allowed to have at one time. I believe there are some other differences related to required reports, inspections, etc. Did you go to this website?http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Care/Search_Texas_Child_Care/ppFacilitySearchDayCare.asp

I was fortunate to have word-of-mouth references from people I trusted. My daughter started out in a listed home at 3 months. She was a wonderful grandmother who had kept several kids over the years, and had 3 in her home when we were there. She kept kids until they turned 2. I know that my daughter got a lot of rocking, holding, & loving while at Connie's. I don't know that she would have gotten as much at a larger place.

My advice is to ask your "finalists" for references and then contact those families. They shouldn't have a problem finding former families to agree to providing references.

I wish all the best for you and your family!

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Specializes in Emergency.

thank you so much for that information. i guess i would basically call the woman, she is listed out of her home, and ask for references. i will do that now.

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I also agree with word of mouth.

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Specializes in Mental Health, Emergency, Surgical.

I suppose you get a feeling when you meet the childcare providers. You can kind of tell by talking to them whether they care about the welfare of your baby. Making an unannounced visit is a good idea too, like previous posters mentioned. If they have been in business 10-15 years or more as you said, and there haven't been any problems, they are probably safe to leave your child with. I mean, nothing is certain in this world; there is always that one exception. All you can do is go by what you know of their record, speak to their referees, and listen to your instincts.

As far as questions, just ask what you want to know. She will only tell you what you want to hear anyway, so best speak to a parent who has used her services, preferably one who hired her to look after their baby rather than an older child.

Good Luck, and trust your instincts. :up:

Oh, and on the topic of what to call a boyfriend, I refer to my boyfriend of 6 years as my "partner." That way, it implies that you are long term and people assume you are probably married (so avoids any discrimination) but you are giving an honest reflection of the relationship. When I hear someone say "the father of my child" or "my baby's daddy", I assume they are not together anymore as they are relating the male to the child rather than themselves as if the child has more of a r/ship with the guy than they do.

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I have a four month old son and I know how terrifying daycare can be... just the thought of it makes me nervous... luckily I have my mom watching my son while I am at work for now. but even that is not good enough sometimes... I will be quitting my job soon to stay home with him and will go back to school to try out for a nursing degree while I do that. I will be watching him during the day and go to school and working part time at night when my husband is home. But once I get into Nursing School, I'll definitely need to look into daycare, since all the classes are during the day. He will be almost two by then so not too bad... good luck to you and your new journey! New baby, New city, New school, New career path... it all sounds overwhelming, but I'm sure you can pull through. You sound like a smart person, doing all the right things and determined enough to make it work!

I told myself that if my son misses me a little while I go through nursing school, it will be worth it for all the times I will get to spend with him after I become a nurse. good thing is that you're doing it while he is very young and by the time he really needs his mommy, you'll be all done! working three days sure beats working monday through friday 9-5! you're gonna miss more that way!

so you go and do it for yourself and your son! and good luck to you in your search for a daycare...

I took some notes to use once it's that time for me too...

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Specializes in Emergency.

thanks nurse_oneday i really appreciate all of the kind words. I know it will be tough, but I know I need to stay focus and do it for my little boy.

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Specializes in ICU, School Nurse, Med/Surg, Psych.

Thank goodness my days of getting my babies out of bed at 4:30 am dressed, fed and ready for daycare so that I could be at clinical at 0600 are long gone. I didn't have family. I did ask around, talk with other moms who had their kids there, dropped in unexpected often and watched closely for behavior and marks. The one time I had my 22 month old son in a center he was bitten by another child every day for 2 weeks. I still feel horrible that I coudl not take him out as they would not refund the $ and I had no other resourses to pay for other care. I felt trapped then- now I know what I would do differently. Please keep talking with other moms with their kids in daycare so that you don't feel trapped into a situation that you know is not good for your baby. You need to be able to leave them and concentrate on your classes. Goodluck!!

p.s. my baby boy is now a 19 year old couragous US soldier!!

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Why don't you ask the school for a referral?

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