Time to Come Clean,,,,slips of the tongue

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Specializes in Geriatrics and emergency medicine.

nurses everywhere,,,,,unite!!!

what is the funniest, strangest, most embarrassing thing you have ever said to patient, or other nurses...you know you have,,,time to come clean and laugh!! here is mine...

i was out christmas shopping with my daughter this past year and we were in a local department store. this gentleman came up to me and said hi and asked me how i was doing. i kinda stood there for a second till the light came on and promptly apoligized for not recognizing him. then said in all honesty,",sorry i did not recognize you with your clothes on"..

what i meant was that the only time i had ever seen him was while he had scrubs on and did not recognize him in "real" clothes.

i thought his wife was gonna have a stroke right there and i know my daughter was looking for the nearest rock to climb under!!!

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We had a 17 y/o pt who was 36 weaks pregnant, s/p MVA, emergency c-section. An older gentleman w/ gray hair came to visit her during visitation.

I walked in and after introducing myself, I asked him "Are you her father?" He proceeded to tell me he was her boyfriend and was the baby's father.

OPEN MOUTH, INSERT FOOT!!

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This was to a couple of other nurses, both male, at work one evening.

We were talking about the woman who had burned herself on McDonald's coffee. And I, without thinking said:

"I don't know about anybody else, but I know better than to drive my car with something hot between my legs."

It was just one of those things that you know it's coming out of your mouth, but it's way too late to stop it.:lol2:

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Specializes in ICU.

i asked the companion of a patient last week if he was her husband, and he responded "i'm her son, do i look that old? " and stalked off

*note to self --> go and bang head on nearest door*:banghead:

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Specializes in ER.

This happened to a friend of mine. We were stuggling to get a c-collar on a drunk MVC. He was thrashing around, cursing and spitting while 4 of us held him down. My friend with with the c-collar in her hand, looking at him upside down from the head of the bed, yelled, "Would you please be still, WE ARE JUST TRYING TO HURT YOU!" Of course she meant to say we were trying to help him, but he did get still after her comment! LOL:lol2:

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i had a palliative care pt, who had a spell of priapism, likely related to spinal mets.

he was discharged home and was readmitted within a week.

when i saw him, i flashed him a huge smile, followed by "heeeeey, what's up john?"

thankfully, he laughed, w/arms extended to give me a hug.

leslie

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I work OB and one of the docs was making rounds on the floor. Another fellow nurse who hadn't seen this doc for awhile said, "Hey Dr. Smith, long time no see!" Dr. Smith looked perplexed for a second and said, " Hey Sally, sorry, for a second I didn't recognize your face."

Just to mention..Dr. Smith is Sally's OB/GYN

We all about died of embarrassment for her!!!!

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while doing the assesment and vitals of my second patient, (yes, 2nd) during clinicals, i was explaining that i would be listening to her heart and lungs. she had several family members and coworkers in there visiting at the time. when she asked why i was listening to her lungs (she was in the ortho ward) i told her that i needed to listen to her breast sounds when i meant to say breath sounds. this ellicited laughter and giggles from the family and it was on. they poked fun at me the entire shift. it was all in good nature and even i got a laugh out of it, as i am always so professional and cool under pressure. this just showed me that even i make mistakes!!:imbar

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Specializes in OB, M/S, HH, Medical Imaging RN.

i was at church, years ago, we were talking about getting married and not changing your last name. back then i thought that was crazy. a doctor i knew from the hospital was there. i turned to her wanting to talk and not knowing what to say i said "isn't it ridiculous that some women keep their maiden names when they get married!". she said "no actually i don't have a problem with it and mary _______ is my maiden name". th_embarrassedsmiley.gif whoops!

:chair:

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Specializes in RN, BSN, CHDN.
while doing the assesment and vitals of my second patient, (yes, 2nd) during clinicals, i was explaining that i would be listening to her heart and lungs. she had several family members and coworkers in there visiting at the time. when she asked why i was listening to her lungs (she was in the ortho ward) i told her that i needed to listen to her breast sounds when i meant to say breath sounds. this ellicited laughter and giggles from the family and it was on. they poked fun at me the entire shift. it was all in good nature and even i got a laugh out of it, as i am always so professional and cool under pressure. this just showed me that even i make mistakes!!:imbar

i once told a pt that i was going to listen to her beast sounds:lol2:

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This one is kind of bad....I aplogize ahead of time! I had a lady who was extremely uncooperative in labor who I was trying my darnedest to work with-coaching, coping, anything that would help and she continued to use the "F word" every few words. Now I regrettably have the mouth of a sailor outside of work but keep it professional at work, but she was over the top yelling it-and we are in a maternity ward with other women, family members, and children. I had asked her to stop using that word for those reasons and she kept going. Finally, she yells "Why can't you ******* do something?!?!?!" to which I replied, "Look, I didnt get you ******* pregnant, but listen to me and let me help you!" Her mouth dropped to the floor and her mom busted out laughing saying "she told you, now shut up!" and she did....rest of the experience was a wonderful F free labor! :no:

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Peds.

I heard one on hear a couple years ago. RN walks into a pt's room for the first time that shift and it's filled with flowers - they're everywhere - and she says, "Wow, it smells like a funeral in here!" Unfortunately the pt had a terminal illness...

Speaking of a room full of family/friends giving you crap all night. I was assessing a post-op abdominal surgery pt in front of everyone - he didn't want any privacy, didn't want anyone to exit out for a minute -cause they're watching THE GAME! I'm moving all over listening to lungs, heart etc.. checking tubes etc.. and then I whisper quietly, "Have you passed any gas since your surgery??" He's like, "Have I... huh? Oh, farted, you wanna know if I've farted! Hey gang, young nurse here wants to know if I've been FARTING??!" In near unison I hear from the whole group, "OHHHHH YEAH!"

Everytime I walked in after that that WHOLE night someone greets me with, "Don't worry nurse, he's still farting!"

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