In the hospital where I used to work, family members would come up to the desk all the time to say "dad needs a _______ (blanket, cup, straw) and I developed a nasty habit of saying (in a perfectly innocent tone) "Does he know how to use the call light?" Gradually my tone started getting more and more sarcastic. Had to stop that one after a few nasty looks. oops.
Or "that's not real high on my priority list"
I know there's been plenty more....
At least I knew I had to leave the hospital setting for a bit before my mouth could get me in too much trouble. Feeling much better suited to home health, where you can throw whatever you like at me! I'll be out of your house in less than an hour!
The doc was rounding and he was notorious for never having a stethescope. I was in the middle of a hectic shift, hadn't had lunch, hadn't even been to the bathroom. I was grumpy.
Doctor: (pointing at my stethescope around my neck) "Does that work?"
Me: "Nope, I just wear it because it matches my scrubs."
I live in a not-so-diverse area with me being Asian, a lot of my patients ask where I'm from (meaning, do you speak English?). My pt was being discharged and on the way out he asked to be weighed. As I was trying to balance the scale, he asked if I could read "English numbers." The doctor overheard him and asked him if he could convert his lb to kg. The pt said no, he didn't have a calculator. The doctor responded, "Maybe you should learn to use an abacus."
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i live in a not-so-diverse area with me being asian, a lot of my patients ask where i'm from (meaning, do you speak english?). my pt was being discharged and on the way out he asked to be weighed. as i was trying to balance the scale, he asked if i could read "english numbers." the doctor overheard him and asked him if he could convert his lb to kg. the pt said no, he didn't have a calculator. the doctor responded, "maybe you should learn to use an abacus."
that's hysterical!
when i worked in a not-so-diverse area, one of our physicians was from an african country i won't name. albert (not really his name) was well-educated, articulate, very intelligent and came from a quite wealthy and well-connected family. a patient (whom i'll refer to as homer) , who could best be described as "trailer park trash" or "poor white trash" because of his 7th grade education, plethora of tattoos and dearth of teeth and his entitled attitudes announced that he didn't want that "big ugly ******" taking care of him. he then proceeded to refer to albert as "bun" or "bunny", and took great glee in explaining the acronym to anyone who didn't "get it."
when homer's thirty or so uneducated, unclean, inarticulate and unpleasant relatives came to visit, one of them told albert that "us white men don't need no ****** slave taking care of them."
without missing a beat, albert replied in his perfect, london-accented baritone "sir, in my country i own the plantation and you would be the slave." and he laughed. albert had been trained as a singer before medical school, and his voice carried. suddenly everyone stopped what they were doing and looked to see what was going on. homer's family more or less slunk out of there, and we never heard "bun" or "bunny" again.
My patient was laying there dying. His daughter was fighting with his wife (her mother) about freaking MONEY. On and on and on. The mother kept saying to her "I can't deal with this right now." Finally, I turned around and said to the daughter "Shut up and get out. Your father is laying here dying right now and you are causing more stress than is necessary. He may be your dad, but he is MY patient and I will not allow this. When you think you can act like a grown up, by all means you can come back in. But this behavior is not acceptable. He can hear you. Do you really want the last thing your father hears in this world is you fighting with his wife?" She just looked at me, got up and walked out of the room. Later, her sister came to thank me, lol.
Specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Prof Practice.
I was charge one night and another nurse was having issues with a patient who was getting progressively more "hospital confused" each night. This particular night she was asking to talk to the "boss" so I came in to fill the role for her. She demanded our name tags, stared at them for a time and then started asking us questions.
Now I am not a religious person. I was raised Baha'i which bodes no dogmatic process for "church" other than social gatherings called "potlucks". Well this patient looked at her nurse and asked "What religion are you?" she politely responded "Christian"...and so did I when confronted with the same question. (Yeah I lied for simplicity)
She then asked her nurse "Where do you go to church?" the nurse responded with her church and the patient looked to me. I politely said I had been in the area to short a time to have found a church. She then asked me the name of the church I had attended back home. Being the horrible liar I really am, I told her I didn't have one back home.
She looked at me and told me "Well I guess that is something you need to focus on getting straightened out."
I didn't really say anything to that comment, however I looked at the other nurse, said "I think you can handle this from here" and walked out.
Apparently the patient, despite her moderate confusion, stated "Well, I guess she didn't like that question very much!"
Once again, religion/politics and nursing do not mix!
Gee, ice-water....what an EMERGENCY! The nurse was probably tending to pts who couldn't wait. This apparently isn't upsetting enough to you to inspire you to cough up the extra cash so hospitals can afford to hire more nurses. You get what you pay for. HC is NOT free! (NOR is it the tax payers' responsibility.)
I'd say a pitcher of ice water spilled all over a weak surgical patient also qualiifies as something that "couldn't wait." Not as serious as, say, a respiratory arrest, but certainly not something to delay or make excuses about.
Mind you, I've been in many situations where I needed two sets of hands to do a task, and couldn't find anyone available to help. But, in those cases, I didn't mind in the least if family members got concerned, and came out to the desk to find out if the patient's problem had been forgotten. I'd do the very same thing, if someone I cared about was lying in a bed of cold water.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
. . .She then asked her nurse "Where do you go to church?" the nurse responded with her church and the patient looked to me. I politely said I had been in the area to short a time to have found a church. She then asked me the name of the church I had attended back home. Being the horrible liar I really am, I told her I didn't have one back home.
She looked at me and told me "Well I guess that is something you need to focus on getting straightened out."
I just laughed so hard I woke up the neighbor's dog. You've got to look for that unique "puzzled expression" that is a signal your story has gone hopelessly off the rails. The next stage is and you want to get gone ASAP before you reach the point of no return - spouting complete gibberish , and tripping on your shoelace on your way out the door. Been there!
You should send the hopsital a bill for services not rendered. Also, tell the bosses about your experience at their hospital and get them to do an investigation to find out why no one ever came to help you. Next time something like this happens, and I hope it never does, call your doctor and the nursing supervisor and even the police if you have to in order to get a dry bed. This is just outrageous.
Also, you should tell your insurer, who should dock them for care not rendered.
Calling the police is a little extreme, is it not? I'm sure they have much better things to do than deal with wet beds in a hospital. That a total waste of valuable police time.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
Calling the police is a little extreme, is it not? I'm sure they have much better things to do than deal with wet beds in a hospital. That a total waste of valuable police time.
Forgive momentary off-topic- but that gave me a smile- I had a patient who insisted we call the police because her guest used a plate instead of a bowl for his dinner and another upset wanting to call the police because "nobody is listening to me". Thankfully both situations resolved without involving law enforcement personnel. :-)
when i worked in a not-so-diverse area, one of our physicians was from an african country i won't name. albert (not really his name) was well-educated, articulate, very intelligent and came from a quite wealthy and well-connected family. a patient (whom i'll refer to as homer) , who could best be described as "trailer park trash" or "poor white trash" because of his 7th grade education, plethora of tattoos and dearth of teeth and his entitled attitudes announced that he didn't want that "big ugly ******" taking care of him. he then proceeded to refer to albert as "bun" or "bunny", and took great glee in explaining the acronym to anyone who didn't "get it."
when homer's thirty or so uneducated, unclean, inarticulate and unpleasant relatives came to visit, one of them told albert that "us white men don't need no ****** slave taking care of them."
without missing a beat, albert replied in his perfect, london-accented baritone "sir, in my country i own the plantation and you would be the slave." and he laughed. albert had been trained as a singer before medical school, and his voice carried. suddenly everyone stopped what they were doing and looked to see what was going on. homer's family more or less slunk out of there, and we never heard "bun" or "bunny" again.
awesome. beyond words kind of awesome. i wish "albert" could meet and perform this number on my unbelievably racist (though not trailer trash) paternal grandparents.
You've got to look for that unique "puzzled expression" that is a signal your story has gone hopelessly off the rails. The next stage is 
and you want to get gone ASAP before you reach the point of no return - spouting complete gibberish , and tripping on your shoelace on your way out the door. Been there!
General E. Speaking, RN, RN
1 Article; 1,337 Posts
The doc was rounding and he was notorious for never having a stethescope. I was in the middle of a hectic shift, hadn't had lunch, hadn't even been to the bathroom. I was grumpy.
Doctor: (pointing at my stethescope around my neck) "Does that work?"
Me: "Nope, I just wear it because it matches my scrubs."
The look on his face was priceless.