Those who get it - get it, Those who don't - Never Will.

Nurses Relations

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This post is dedicated to all those non-nurse's, pre-nurse's, still-in-school-but-not-yet-clinical-time nursing students, inappropriate families, non-compliant patients, and the public at large.

To all it may concern:

Do NOT tell a nurse that his/her job is easy. It is brutal physical, mental, and emotionally EXHAUSTING work. I have heard you saying that you could do it - just passing pills and then sitting down reading a magazine.

Let me tell you this.

My job is more complex than any job you have or ever will have. I am responsible for people's lives. I am on the top of my game at all times.

Your job is sitting at a desk for 8 hours with a 1 hour lunch break. I have you beat. I have a 12 hour shift with 30 minutes for lunch (if I am lucky).

Why if I am lucky? Let me tell you why - its because I have 6 highly complex cardiac (that means heart) patients that are on the verge of having a major hear attack at any given moment while I am on duty.

No, the doctor is not there telling me what to do. Most of the time, its the NURSES who provide the care and tell the doctors what to do. Nurse's are the one's who see the patient deteroiate and inplement lifesaving interventions before the doctor arrives.

To those angry, ****** off visitors:

Get your hands off your hips. Uncross your arms from your chest. Do not raise your voice to me. Do not give me angry dirty looks from the doorway.

If I have never met you before, why do you assume I know who your infirm relative is? And since I don't know, why do you get a nasty attitude with me?

There is a right way and a wrong way to ask for something. Use manners. "May I and Please" go a long way.

Keep in mind that any threat you make towards me will result in the security department escorting you out, the police will be involved and you will not be able to set foot near me ever again.

Make sure that you clean up after your visit with whomever.

To the world as a whole:

Leave me alone when I am off duty. I do not care in the least about your eczema or your runny nose. I am not going to give you any medical advise other than common sense (tissues, handwashing, make an appointment with your MD). NO, I can't and won't "score" you free narcotics from my work. No, nurse's are not sleeping around with the doctors or having sex on duty. No, male nurses are not all gay. No, we are not angels of mercy. No, nurses are not idiots or handmaidens.

Yes, nursing it a versatile profession - its not limited to hospitals. Yes, nursing is "rewarding" (but most nurses this day and age do not go into it due to altruism alone its split 50/50 with income durablity and altruism).

In summary - there is more to nursing and nurse than you will ever know.

Those who are nurses or know anything about the profession of nursing will understand some of this.

Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
. . . . .I am a very competent nurse with over 20 years of experience. I introduce myself to my patients with a smile, and I check on them frequently. I do thorough assessments on each and every patient. I verify ID bracelets before giving medications. I give lots of reassurance, and I try to incorporate patient education in all aspects of my care.

I'm not a chatty, bubbly person- I'm actually kind of quiet, but I do smile, and I say please and thank-you A LOT. However, it's apparently not enough. Because I'm not outgoing I've been written up because a patient didn't like my personality. They said I was nice and that I was a good nurse, but they didn't like my personality? And I'm getting written up for that?

So no, at my facility it's not enough to save a patient's ass. And you better be wearing plenty of lip balm for all the ass-kissing that has to be done.

Boy do I relate to this one! At this point in my life, I don't think I can accomodate that clash in my mind, and that if I was actually written up for not having a pleasing personality even though I smiled, was polite, and competent at my job-- I don't know. . . maybe I could sell Tupperware, ride the bus everywhere and live on Top Ramen. Mobility- one advantage of being an empty nester!!

Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis.
medical student?

haha! maybe a good guess. i vote for management though...

Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis.

"To the world as a whole:

Leave me alone when I am off duty. I do not care in the least about your eczema or your runny nose. I am not going to give you any medical advise other than common sense (tissues, handwashing, make an appointment with your MD). NO, I can't and won't "score" you free narcotics from my work. No, nurse's are not sleeping around with the doctors or having sex on duty. No, male nurses are not all gay. No, we are not angels of mercy. No, nurses are not idiots or handmaidens."

AMEN to that! Why do people think that because I am a nurse I am automatically concerned about your every health complaint and more than happy to pass out free medical advice? Not to mention why do you assume I am qualified to give that advice??? Three words for all of you...CALL YOUR DOCTOR. As for the ones wanting drugs, yeah I run in to them too, and why do you think I would risk my career for your habit? And I have yet to meet a nurse that has time to have sex on the clock. Most of us barely have time or energy for that off the clock...but that is a whole other post.

I have yet to meet a nurse that has time to have sex on the clock. Most of us barely have time or energy for that off the clock...but that is a whole other post.

:fnypst:

...

wait, have you been spying on me? :lol2:

Specializes in Vascular Access Nurse.
"To the world as a whole: And I have yet to meet a nurse that has time to have sex on the clock. Most of us barely have time or energy for that off the clock...but that is a whole other post.

I'm so glad you brought that up....I'm SO tired of people saying things like that! Ummm....we see the docs when they're sweaty, icky, bedhead gross and they see us with our hair back in a ponytail and no makeup and oh-so-flattering scrubs and neither one of us has time to pee let alone grab a quickie in the stairwell!! :eek:

Empathizing is one thing. Passing judgement and/or criticizing and/or scolding is another, since, if you truly empathized, you wouldn't be so quick to judge.

I'm a student, also, and a loudmouth on these boards. However, I don't touch nurse vent threads because it is not appropriate for me to do so. Even offering my support in those situations would reveal a hollow element, because it wouldn't come from a place of real understanding - the kind of real understanding you gain from having gone through it yourself. I sure as **** wouldn't go in guns blazing and handing out reproofs unless I had a damn strong leg to stand on. I know this is only a message board, but anyone who has ever been in public knows that that sort of behavior is, in general, socially unacceptable.

Sorry, Triquee, but I think the people who have been quick to judge are those who jump all over anyone expressing a different point of view. If you post something in a public forum, people will respond to it. Nothing "socially unacceptable" about that. On the other hand, jumping all over people who don't join you on your bandwagon or questioning their credentials (by the way, I am a nurse in peds trauma and surgical care , and peds acute and post acute burn care, and I think I understand what job stress is) is a little juvenile, to say the least.

Specializes in ICU.
Sorry, Triquee, but I think the people who have been quick to judge are those who jump all over anyone expressing a different point of view. If you post something in a public forum, people will respond to it. Nothing "socially unacceptable" about that. On the other hand, jumping all over people who don't join you on your bandwagon or questioning their credentials (by the way, I am a nurse in peds trauma and surgical care , and peds acute and post acute burn care, and I think I understand what job stress is) is a little juvenile, to say the least.

I can't think of anything to say except...

"If you post something in a public forum, people will respond to it."

Nothing "juvenile" about that.

Specializes in retired from healthcare.

I have been abused by patients familiy members, even sometimes when I loved the patients like my own children.

I have been talked down at like an incompentent little child by patients friends, even if I was attempting to work with them as a team member and even when my intentions were good.

Relatives and friends can be insolent because of their own health issues and sometimes because they are on drugs.

Specializes in retired from healthcare.

What this reminds me of is one time when my daughter broke her front tooth in grade school. She was crying and I was beside myself. :mad:

The staff at the dental office where I took her were acting like jerks and attempted to start a fight like creepy third graders.

They accused me of lying to them because I misunderstood their office rules and thought they could fix her tooth in the first visit. They also forced us to wait for months before I could get her in to see them.

I bent over backwards trying to get along with this ignrorant health care staff and they were begging for me to slap their faces.

They were making a mockery out of our situation, ei, "if you had a broken tooth, how soon would you like it fixed?" "You better not lie, you can get in a pretty good fight that way."

I had to sit there and explain to them that people who have misconceptions are not liars!!

I absolutely did not want to fight and they were yelling at me and staring me in the face and one staff member got up from the counter and went and got the other one to side with her. They still wanted to fight even when I was on my best behavior with them and very agreeable!!

Needless to say, I was ready to take a belt and beat them black and blue. When saw the dentist, he was carrying on like a crooked lawyer and accused me of lying. In reality, I had told them her tooth was broken as one of the first things on the phone and also in the forms. I said, "I was hoping to have a more adult conversation today," to which he replied, "Get her out of here," to the assistant who rushed to the desk.

I later on got a letter from them claiming that I, "deceived," them. They dropped us from their case load on slanderous accusations. Every time I go in that medical building, I still get in the mood to go up to that dental office and tell them off. They were the ones telling lies.

"You agreed to a new patient exam, then you said it was to fill her tooth."

Well obviously, I thought they were going to fix her tooth during this time!! That does not make me a liar and I was brought up to be polite all the time and not to lie.

In this case, I was being portrayed by them as one of those rude family members discussed in this post.

I was rightfully livid with them and wrote them a letter and told them I was ready to go up to their office and beat them to a pulp. I have never written one like this in my life.

I also reported them to the state board who adamently sided with them when they were begging for a fist fight.

If I had acted like them on my health care job, I would have been fired.

I hope people do look at both sides of this issue and give credit to relatives and visitors who try to get along but just need to be oriented to your rules and your job. Sometimes if you make an effort to orient them, they will be understanding.

Your title alone said it all. Those who get it, get it. Those who don't, don't. No need to go into it further and no need to explain or defend what we do to those that don't do it.

:yelclap:

Specializes in retired from healthcare.
Amen. I work in the ER and I know exactly what you are talking about.

What I think visitors and patients' family members need is a film or a movie to teach them about our jobs. They really don't know not to bother the med nurse while she's passing meds.

They really have no idea that a CNA can get fired or written up if she tries to discuss the patients meds and does not direct them to the charge nurse.

They do not know that when they call up an RN while she is at work that this is a threat to her patients and her job security. They don't know about the chain of command, ei, "Why can't YOU give my mother her pills?"

Even knowing what it's like to have 14 patients or more, I still get frustrated when I visit a family member and ask to walk them down the hall and they don't let me and she comes home not able to walk because of this.

you got that. it's impolite to "step on a vent" and tell people how they ought to feel. no one who hasn't done the job can possibly understand it and if you don't agree with the majority about how we feel, you just don't get it. but since i suspect you were being sarcastic, you don't get it. feel free to pass on the vent threads.

this is a public forum, not a private discussion between two people that we are eavesdropping on. we can comment on anything we want to comment on, even if it's a "vent thread". maybe there should be a separate section for vents that's off limits to comments then. feel free to pass on any comments you don't like or agree with.

Specializes in Advanced Practice, surgery.

OK guys that's enough bickering now please stay on topic

Thanks

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