Those who get it - get it, Those who don't - Never Will.

Nurses Relations

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This post is dedicated to all those non-nurse's, pre-nurse's, still-in-school-but-not-yet-clinical-time nursing students, inappropriate families, non-compliant patients, and the public at large.

To all it may concern:

Do NOT tell a nurse that his/her job is easy. It is brutal physical, mental, and emotionally EXHAUSTING work. I have heard you saying that you could do it - just passing pills and then sitting down reading a magazine.

Let me tell you this.

My job is more complex than any job you have or ever will have. I am responsible for people's lives. I am on the top of my game at all times.

Your job is sitting at a desk for 8 hours with a 1 hour lunch break. I have you beat. I have a 12 hour shift with 30 minutes for lunch (if I am lucky).

Why if I am lucky? Let me tell you why - its because I have 6 highly complex cardiac (that means heart) patients that are on the verge of having a major hear attack at any given moment while I am on duty.

No, the doctor is not there telling me what to do. Most of the time, its the NURSES who provide the care and tell the doctors what to do. Nurse's are the one's who see the patient deteroiate and inplement lifesaving interventions before the doctor arrives.

To those angry, ****** off visitors:

Get your hands off your hips. Uncross your arms from your chest. Do not raise your voice to me. Do not give me angry dirty looks from the doorway.

If I have never met you before, why do you assume I know who your infirm relative is? And since I don't know, why do you get a nasty attitude with me?

There is a right way and a wrong way to ask for something. Use manners. "May I and Please" go a long way.

Keep in mind that any threat you make towards me will result in the security department escorting you out, the police will be involved and you will not be able to set foot near me ever again.

Make sure that you clean up after your visit with whomever.

To the world as a whole:

Leave me alone when I am off duty. I do not care in the least about your eczema or your runny nose. I am not going to give you any medical advise other than common sense (tissues, handwashing, make an appointment with your MD). NO, I can't and won't "score" you free narcotics from my work. No, nurse's are not sleeping around with the doctors or having sex on duty. No, male nurses are not all gay. No, we are not angels of mercy. No, nurses are not idiots or handmaidens.

Yes, nursing it a versatile profession - its not limited to hospitals. Yes, nursing is "rewarding" (but most nurses this day and age do not go into it due to altruism alone its split 50/50 with income durablity and altruism).

In summary - there is more to nursing and nurse than you will ever know.

Those who are nurses or know anything about the profession of nursing will understand some of this.

Specializes in Vascular Access Nurse.

[color=dimgray]perhaps a bit off topic, though i don't think so, because it's another example of someone not "getting it." i'm a nurse on the iv team. most of the time i can get an iv in just about anyone. today, i was attempting to put an iv in a patient and, for one reason or another, i tried twice and just couldn't get in. certainly uncomfortable for the patient and embarrassing for me, but it does happen sometimes....no one is perfect. the patient had a sitter and the sitter looked at me and said "are you a rookie? why don't you go for the ac? my dad puts in ivs and he makes it look easy." i just bit my tongue and left the room because if i had said anything it would have been inappropriate. my coworker returned to the room and was able to get an iv in. she then pulled the sitter aside and explained to him that his statement was inappropriate and upsetting. his response was "well, i was being an advocate for my patient. she was hurting him." my coworker was very polite but reminded him that ivs hurt and that i was doing my job and, that he was a sitter/pca, not a nurse and should not be criticizing me. hats off to her for having my back. the pca/sitter "just didn't get it."

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
so let me see if i am getting all this right.

- it's impolite to disagree with someone or post another point of view because someone is "venting"?

- nobody who is not a nurse can possibly empathize with a nurse's feelings about their job?

- if you don't agree with the majority, then you "don't get it".

if that's how venting works, i'll pass.

you got that. it's impolite to "step on a vent" and tell people how they ought to feel. no one who hasn't done the job can possibly understand it and if you don't agree with the majority about how we feel, you just don't get it. but since i suspect you were being sarcastic, you don't get it. feel free to pass on the vent threads.

I think that if you post something in a public forum then you should be prepared to have someone disagree with you. And just because someone disagrees with you (or everyone) doesn't mean that they don't "get it", or they are "stepping on a vent" . They just don't agree. If you want to have a discussion where everyone agrees with you you have to hand pick the people you talk to.

Specializes in OB.
I think that if you post something in a public forum then you should be prepared to have someone disagree with you. And just because someone disagrees with you (or everyone) doesn't mean that they don't "get it", or they are "stepping on a vent" . They just don't agree. If you want to have a discussion where everyone agrees with you you have to hand pick the people you talk to.

That is appropriate if someone is ASKING for advice - then negative feedback may be valuable. In this case though the OP clearly labeled this as a vent, not a request for advice. Since the post was titled "Those who get it..." it really was addressed to specific individuals.

However, I don't think this will make any difference as you appear to fall into the category of "Those who don't, Never Will..."

Oh, Please....

Specializes in ICU, MedSurg, Medical Telemetry.
I get your point but it seems like you're on a bit of a high nurse. I'm sure many doctors could write a similar post about their crazy experiences. I think it's really insulting the way nurses downplay the importance of doctors. A nurse doesn't just welcome a patient to the hospital and treat them. They wait for the doctor to give them orders, then it is up to them to see how they can implement them and keep track of the status of the patient (yes, I know NPs can function independently). The way some nurses talk you'd think that doctors didn't even exist. And yes, nurses spend much more time with a patient than a doctor does, but that's because that's the nurses' job. People talk as if doctors just don't feel like dropping by to see the patient and the nurse got stuck babysitting. You think the doctor's job is any less crucial than yours?

Oh, I would NEVER do an MD's job. Ever. You couldn't pay me enough.

They have many more patients than I do, are more likely to get sued, seem to always be on call (I feel so bad when I call during evenings/nights and hear their kids playing in the background. I don't care how much you get paid; NOTHING makes up for that.), and get so little sleep. I think I'd be a little cranky/rude/burned out if I got as little sleep as they must and worked as much as they do.

Have I ever told an MD exactly what I want for a pt? Yes. Actually, last night I had to all but BEG for 1 unit of blood for my patient with an H&H of 6.7 and 19.5.

Have I ever had an MD thank us for all we do as nurses? Yes, I've had that too. Several times. When you approach a Doc like a human being, surprisingly, you find that they are (SHOCK) human. (JK. They're actually all androids. Real MDs got to be too expensive and hospitals are downsizing to save money).

Anyway, to be more serious, MDs have a thankless job. Some are jerks, some are amazingly kind and grateful for everything we do in spite of being woken up at way-too-late at night. Regardless of how they are, I tip my hat to them. It takes a lot to do the MD's job.

Let's hear it for the Docs! :yeah: :clpty:

Specializes in ICU/PACU.

awesome. I too like the title of the thread. You just can't win with some people (patients, families, doctors, etc..) so do NOT waste your time trying.

This was the best post I have seen. I am not a nurse yet, but I get exactly what you are talking about. I used to work in a hospital as a nutrition services aide and I would see the nurses doing the best they could w/o so much as a thank you. It was ridiculous. Thank you for spelling out what nurses do for those thick in the head who cant understand the intensity of the job. :-)

NURSE - I get paid to save your ass, not to kiss it.

Sadly, I don't think this is the case anymore. We are constantly being told to improve customer service. We have to smile more, take care of everyone- including the patient AND her 20 family members/visitors, and respond instantly to patient requests, even if it's for cups of ice for that entire room full of visitors and I'm in another patient's room trying to stop a hemmorhage. Some facilities have ice machines so that patients or family members can get their own, but that's not the case with us. Apparently, a patient/family member having to get her own ice is BAD customer service.

The whole trend of moving away from calling them customers instead of patients says it all. It's all about customer service satisfaction surveys. Priorities have shifted over the years. It's no longer enough to be a top notch nurse and be able to recognize when a patient is developing sepsis, or that a baby is in distress. Now it seems good nursing = winning personality contests.

I am a very competent nurse with over 20 years of experience. I introduce myself to my patients with a smile, and I check on them frequently. I do thorough assessments on each and every patient. I verify ID bracelets before giving medications. I give lots of reassurance, and I try to incorporate patient education in all aspects of my care.

I'm not a chatty, bubbly person- I'm actually kind of quiet, but I do smile, and I say please and thank-you A LOT. However, it's apparently not enough. Because I'm not outgoing I've been written up because a patient didn't like my personality. They said I was nice and that I was a good nurse, but they didn't like my personality? And I'm getting written up for that?

So no, at my facility it's not enough to save a patient's ass. And you better be wearing plenty of lip balm for all the ass-kissing that has to be done.

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
oh, i would never do an md's job. ever. you couldn't pay me enough.

they have many more patients than i do, are more likely to get sued, seem to always be on call (i feel so bad when i call during evenings/nights and hear their kids playing in the background. i don't care how much you get paid; nothing makes up for that.), and get so little sleep. i think i'd be a little cranky/rude/burned out if i got as little sleep as they must and worked as much as they do.

have i ever told an md exactly what i want for a pt? yes. actually, last night i had to all but beg for 1 unit of blood for my patient with an h&h of 6.7 and 19.5.

have i ever had an md thank us for all we do as nurses? yes, i've had that too. several times. when you approach a doc like a human being, surprisingly, you find that they are (shock) human. (jk. they're actually all androids. real mds got to be too expensive and hospitals are downsizing to save money).

anyway, to be more serious, mds have a thankless job. some are jerks, some are amazingly kind and grateful for everything we do in spite of being woken up at way-too-late at night. regardless of how they are, i tip my hat to them. it takes a lot to do the md's job.

let's hear it for the docs! :yeah: :clpty:

i fired the jerk, and got an excellent one whom i have even called him a true professional. he earns that title every single day. my hat is off to him and his very proficient pa as well.:up:
So let me see if I am getting all this right.

- It's impolite to disagree with someone or post another point of view because someone is "venting"?
Here are two definitions for the verb 'vent' from our friend Webster:

to give often vigorous or emotional expression to relieve oneself by venting something (as anger)

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/vent

So yes, it's VERY impolite to come into someone's vent and tell them what they feel is wrong. Just like it's wrong to ever tell someone they are not entitled to their feelings or that they don't have the right to feel the way they do. Would you tell your patient they shouldn't be writhing in pain because their injury is small?

- Nobody who is not a nurse can possibly empathize with a nurse's feelings about their job?

Sure they can in a general, by the definition way but I really don't think a non-nurse can really appreciate what a nurse is feeling. My husband is a network engineer for one of the largest data networking providers in the country. He comes home and vents over his days spent dealing with people in call canters who don't have a clue how to do their jobs. I can empathize with his having a crappy day but I'd never presume to think I get 'it' when it comes to his job and his day.

- If you don't agree with the majority, then you "don't get it".

Either you don't get it or you you're experiences have been sheltered or brief. There are brand new nurses posting to this thread who do get 'it'.

If that's how venting works, I'll pass.

Good for you, may all your days be filled with sunshine, kittens and cotton candy! Unfortunately for the majority they aren't.

Specializes in ICU.
- Nobody who is not a nurse can possibly empathize with a nurse's feelings about their job?

Empathizing is one thing. Passing judgement and/or criticizing and/or scolding is another, since, if you truly empathized, you wouldn't be so quick to judge.

I'm a student, also, and a loudmouth on these boards. However, I don't touch nurse vent threads because it is not appropriate for me to do so. Even offering my support in those situations would reveal a hollow element, because it wouldn't come from a place of real understanding - the kind of real understanding you gain from having gone through it yourself. I sure as **** wouldn't go in guns blazing and handing out reproofs unless I had a damn strong leg to stand on. I know this is only a message board, but anyone who has ever been in public knows that that sort of behavior is, in general, socially unacceptable.

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