7/30 This week, I learned Deanna Troi sucks

Nurses General Nursing

Published

You guys watch ST:TNG? Man, I loved that show. Jean Luc was gonna save the galaxy. I'd totally vote Picard/Riker every single election. (This might actually happen this year.)

But Deanna.... She was my girl. Strong, sensitive, empathic. I was going to BE her when I grew up. I actively sought to connect with people, to know what their feelings were, what motivated them. To be honest, I already knew how to read people pretty well. My pre-teen self just enjoyed the imaginative fantasy.

As a Nurse, we tend to channel our inner Deanna Troi a little. Well, I do, at least. Especially around discharge, when thinking is adjusted to what's next for this person and their loved ones. What do they want? What are they burdened with?

What a crap week for this way of thinking to come back.

This week, I have learned....

1. Grandma is in LTC now and her Alzheimers has been declining rapidly. We all know how those first nights will be.

2. Grandpa is home alone, albeit busy right now, and he is refusing help.

3. My surgeon has me out until August 22.

4. My short-term disability company is currently refusing to extend my claim beyond Wednesday.

5. My employer has decided to terminate my benefits as of Wednesday.

6. Have you ever heard that rumor that short-term disability company long term disability companies will send out private investigators to monitor and photograph the movements of those people they think abuse claims? They do. This is actually a thing.

7. This ad inspires NO DESIRE WHATSOEVER to be a nurse. The intern/resident is treating someone like crap while the nurse next to him gives the "I want you now" eyes.

31f68940b50acc667f2b036bacd7b79f.jpg

8. After participating in facebook live chats and PMs with Zdogg since his 7 Years release, being berated by my mother in law for admitting patient suffering and tragedy destroys me a little, and THEN turning to a loved hospitalist that I am thankful to have in my life... It's painfully obvious that those of us, ALL of us, on the front lines of healthcare feel our hearts break time and time again, and yet, we can't admit it to our colleague. Our hands are not meant to be held. We go home to the hands and arms that hold us, knowing that some shifts really do isolate us. We are forced to be alone. I watch my colleagues take their SSRIs, benzos, norcos, whatever it takes to bring them back to a shift. No one hides it. And why should they? We all understand WHY. So why don't we talk about it?

9. Today I decided paying a babysitter is cheaper than paying bail. I mean, c'mon parents, AMIRITE?!

10. morte would rather ditch the spacebar than be decisive about a computer.

If anyone is interested in hosting next week, get in touch via PM.

What have you learned this week?

Remember, cheers, jeers and camaraderie are always loved and appreciated in the WILTW threads. Just try hard to stay close or on the nursing path so this thread stays here.

Sent from my Federation Starship using Tapatalk

Specializes in ICU.

((((MMJ))))

I've learned that if I overpay the babysitter that she'll clean my house out of guilt for getting "all that money." Cue me having her come back today and overpaying her.

I have learned your babysitter is a better person than I am! I would never feel guilty about being overpaid.

I have learned that having some time off is nice! I only worked three shifts last week, and I'm planning to only work my three this week, too. I worked 12 out of 14 days the previous pay period, so this is a real change. It's also made me realize I've been in a bad space in my head - worse than I thought, because I was just able to work through it and pretend it didn't exist before. However, now that I'm home and not working, I'm having to deal with it.

I think I'm going to have to change jobs because I'm not in a good place after I work with a certain coworker, who works a ton of OT and is always there. It sucks because I love the rest of my coworkers, and I'm also not sure it's feasible to change jobs right now because of my FT school schedule in the fall... not to mention the FT school is going to be challenging grad level biology courses, organic chemistry, etc. and I'm not sure how much brain power I'd have left over to learn a new specialty at the same time, so I guess I'm stuck where I am.

I think I just want to go back to kindergarten and take a nap! Adulthood is clearly not for me.

Specializes in ICU.
My dad died this morning.

He was 87 and had Parkinson's and dementia.

In 1976, when I got a last-minute offer of admission to the Springfield School of Practical Nursing- he gave me the $650 to attend. (That covered tuition, books, uniforms and supplies.) He got to see me receive my DNP in May via video feed.

Much of what I am- I owe to him.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I bet you were the absolute pride and joy of his life.

Specializes in GENERAL.
My dad died this morning.

He was 87 and had Parkinson's and dementia.

In 1976, when I got a last-minute offer of admission to the Springfield School of Practical Nursing- he gave me the $650 to attend. (That covered tuition, books, uniforms and supplies.) He got to see me receive my DNP in May via video feed.

Much of what I am- I owe to him.

MMJ: So attention must be paid...and you have. Well done noble daughter.

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.

Is anyone's tapatalk app not allowing them to log into AN?

Specializes in ICU.

I learned so much this week, I would not even know where to start.

One lesson that was reiterated to me this week was that life is not fair, and that a very small mistake can cost someone their life, leaving a very devastated family behind.

I'm learning not to take family members personally. It's not me they are angry with, it's their loved ones illness or injury. But some day it's hard.

Specializes in ICU.
I learned so much this week, I would not even know where to start.

One lesson that was reiterated to me this week was that life is not fair, and that a very small mistake can cost someone their life, leaving a very devastated family behind.

I'm learning not to take family members personally. It's not me they are angry with, it's their loved ones illness or injury. But some day it's hard.

Life really isn't fair. If there's one thing I see over and over and over again, it's the 60 year old pastor who raised five kids who grew up to be missionaries that died of sepsis the first time he'd been hospitalized in his whole life. And it's the 34 year old patients, with five hospitalizations this year already from ODing, one heart valve down from heroin use, which has since been replaced and has grown new vegetation already, who live to come back again and again. Usually they come in pregnant, too, and their babies die in the NICU. Or their babies live to join the other four children they've already had that are in foster care. It honestly looks like life favors the worst people and kills the best.

I went to the funeral of someone I went to school with back in the day - a straight A student, mission trips, led worship services at church, etc. He got hit by a car running in the morning. They said something at the funeral along the lines of, "His life was exactly where it needs to be, and he was ready to meet his God."

I would call myself agnostic, but seeing the worst of the worst get a million chances and the best people on the planet die the first time something serious happens to them, I honestly wonder if this is why. That the good, righteous people are prepared to die, and a merciful God gives the screw ups second, third, and fourth chances before taking them. It's about the only explanation that makes sense. Thinking about it any other way will just piss you off.

And the family members are the worst part of nursing by far. Some days I think I could take all of the rest of it in stride and be happy at my job if it weren't for the awful family members.

Life really isn't fair. If there's one thing I see over and over and over again, it's the 60 year old pastor who raised five kids who grew up to be missionaries that died of sepsis the first time he'd been hospitalized in his whole life. And it's the 34 year old patients, with five hospitalizations this year already from ODing, one heart valve down from heroin use, which has since been replaced and has grown new vegetation already, who live to come back again and again. Usually they come in pregnant, too, and their babies die in the NICU. Or their babies live to join the other four children they've already had that are in foster care. It honestly looks like life favors the worst people and kills the best.

I went to the funeral of someone I went to school with back in the day - a straight A student, mission trips, led worship services at church, etc. He got hit by a car running in the morning. They said something at the funeral along the lines of, "His life was exactly where it needs to be, and he was ready to meet his God."

I would call myself agnostic, but seeing the worst of the worst get a million chances and the best people on the planet die the first time something serious happens to them, I honestly wonder if this is why. That the good, righteous people are prepared to die, and a merciful God gives the screw ups second, third, and fourth chances before taking them. It's about the only explanation that makes sense. Thinking about it any other way will just piss you off.

And the family members are the worst part of nursing by far. Some days I think I could take all of the rest of it in stride and be happy at my job if it weren't for the awful family members.

I think your experiences, while awful, are anecdotal. There are lots of "the worst" dying as well. As hospice, I see a mix.

We've had a meth addict who continued to use meth and other drugs, who tried to break into the pain pump, who used in front of his 5 kids, who was violent and he ended up dying of a brain tumor.

We've had a convicted child molester who served his time die of cancer.

My alcoholic/drug addict nephew was in a drunk driving accident and is now basically what many call a "vegetable".

A friend of my daughter lost her brother in a drunk driving accident . . . after he was driving on the wrong side of the road at 100 mph and killed a woman in a head-on crash.

Lots of "the worst" die tragically - we just don't see it. The stories that get the attention are the ones where "the best" are the ones who die.

Honest, "the worst" get their fair share of bad things happening too. We just don't hear about it.

I'm truly sorry for your experience with "awful family members".

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
Is anyone's tapatalk app not allowing them to log into AN?

Sent tapatalk an error report in hopes that I will be able to post from tapatalk again!

Sent tapatalk an error report in hopes that I will be able to post from tapatalk again!

LOL . . . I was thinking you all were talking about a Tapas bar or restaurant . . . :woot:

Tapas - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Specializes in Urology, HH, med/Surg.
Sent tapatalk an error report in hopes that I will be able to post from tapatalk again!

Lol- I just assumed it was me doing something

wrong!! I uninstalled & reinstalled and it's stll

giving me crazy messages! Just as I was getting

used to it!

Specializes in ICU.
I think your experiences while awful, are anecdotal. There are lots of "the worst" dying as well. As hospice, I see a mix.[/quote']

I do agree I'm probably biased - my own experiences are a very small sample size. Also, the type of unit I'm in, the only reason you get to me if you're young (other than type 1 diabetes) is usually by doing something creative. Most of my patients are 70+. My hospital is not a trauma center, so really, the most common ways to come to see me as a young person are overdosing, withdrawing from alcohol, ending up in a hypertensive crisis from too much cocaine, or growing vegetation on your heart valves and going into heart failure because of the dirty needles you use to shoot up your drugs.

Thanks for the commiseration about the awful family members. The latest ones that really pressed my buttons were trying to play the race card. We only allow 2 people in the room unless we have withdrawn care and are waiting for the patient to die. A patient across the hall had been withdrawn on and had many family members in the room. The family members of my patient saw this, took issue with me trying to enforce the two at a time rule, and yelled at me for being a "racist" because the other family was black and they were white, so obviously the people across the hall must be allowed to have more visitors because they were black. They escalated this business all the way up to patient relations, who ended up coming down on my side after hearing the whole story, but the family didn't care and continued to blatantly violate visitation rules.

We have a locked unit, but if they call each other, and if one in the unit presses the exit button to open the door as another person is coming up, it's awfully hard to keep the extra people out. Most visitors are creative enough to figure out how to bypass the secretary and let extra visitors in - and of course, my unit leader will walk by, take one look at how many people are in the room, and yell at me for "allowing" so many people, even if I've already asked them to leave. Never mind that these charming people's family member was a full code, and they were blocking my ability to get to my patient and all of the equipment in her room. Dealing with the visitors is just exhausting.

Thanks for the commiseration about the awful family members. . .

We get that in hospice too. But we can't cure a lifetime's worth of psychologic pathology while taking care of a hospice patient. Unless they are a danger to the patient, our hands are kinda tied.

Your example is heartbreaking.

+ Add a Comment