Thinking of Quitting Nursing School

BagelBomber, ASN, BSN, RN · Oct 11, 2019

I graduate from my program in May (provided I pass everything up to that point haha). I am a single parent of an 11 year old and work full-time, with lectures taking place twice (possibly three times) during the week and clinicals on weekends. I'm not sure what kind of student you are, and I know everyone operates differently so I can only speak from my personal experience:

Child(ren) and sanity > getting As in nursing school

Before nursing school, I was a straight-A student (that rarely studied). Then nursing school happened: exams kick you in the fancy bits real quick, not because content is difficult, but because questions require more brain work. After my first class, I decided I would simply have to suck it up and deal with not having an A on everything. Once I gave myself that wiggle room, I immediately felt more relaxed. I do not let studying remove me from time with my child. I study, sure, but I'm not letting an A on an exam that very few people will be concerned with (most NP schools I've looked into thus far want a 3.5, and as of yet I've still got that) get in the way of being a present parent.

I work full time. I take my son to practices and attend games for whichever of his sports is in season. I go to the gym in the morning. I sleep at night (for the most part). I get my school work done. Am I getting straight-As in nursing school....nope...but I am okay with that.

BSNtoPsychDNPhopeful · Oct 11, 2019

Hi,

I graduated 3 years ago as an RN and I am almost done with my BSN now. Nursing school is hell. There is no denying that. You have to keep your eyes on the prize - whatever it was that made you want to be a nurse. Also, nursing school is not like nursing. Nursing school just gives you the academic background. Actual nursing is so different.

As far as academics - one thing that helped me immensely (I got a 4.0) is recording the lectures. I would listen to the lecture the first time as I made my notes. Then I studied my notes whenever I had a chance. A couple days before the test, I would listen to the lectures as I fell asleep, and in the car on the way to school. I would read all my notes over again right before the test, even if it made me a few minutes late to class. Listening to recordings really helps because the professors sometimes emphasize something that will be on the test. Also you will notice different things that you may have missed the first time. And even if you are asleep when you hear the lectures, somewhere in your brain, you will know the right answer and will probably guess better on test questions you just don't know.

I wouldn't worry about study groups. They help some people, but I found they are mainly a distraction and a social group - which can be nice, but won't help you pass.

As far as negative professors, there are always those. In my last semester of my ADN program, our clinical instructor had half the class terrified they would fail. It was awful! Two people actually dropped out because of her and they could have graduated. ? If you can find a way to make that professor like you and help you, you will have overcome a major obstacle and it will serve you well if you ever have a supervisor like that or have to work with a bully.

For your family, your kids are old enough to understand at least. One thing that might help is planning with your kids what you are going to do for your next break. Also, you can plan a mini celebration after each test because you know you won't have to study as much then. They are going to learn so much about accomplishing goals from seeing you persevere.

As far as stress goes, I recommend watching this TedTalk. Actually, stress is good for you! It really makes a difference if you believe that.

Good luck to you and God bless.

Nurse.Kelsey, BSN, RN · Oct 11, 2019

Nursing school is hard. Theres always going to be teachers that arent the best. Learning how to answer nclex style questions takes time. Studying in a group only works if you study beforehand and if group learning actually is your learning style.

I respect you and all other parents that go through nursing school. It is a sacrifice to spend all this time away from your kids. However - it is temporary. And your family will understand.

I think a lot of nursing students go through the same struggles and sometimes may think about giving up.... I want to encourage you to remember that although it is a sacrifice, its temporary. There is an end point to it. If you are willing and ready to continue on I say do it.

Dragonnurse1, ASN, RN · Oct 12, 2019

I went to nursing school at age 38 with 4 children (ages 10, 5,3, and 1) and my spouse was a cop that worked nights. My nursing program (ASN in 1990) was difficult to get into and had a passing rate of 100% but you had to get past that one instructor in the first quarter. She would let you know that it was her job to flush out students that they felt would not make it through the program. When she made something particularly hard and a student passed she always had a little grin and when they failed she would just shake her head and walk away. She pulled something, I cannot remember now what, on 3 of us and I challenged her, we passed and 15 years later when my son was taking nursing courses he had her and she remembered me. I found after talking to several nurses from other schools that there seems to be that one instructor that was the designated "hit instructor", the one that "sorted" out those that would not make it. You make it past her class and things will start smoothing over.

I never felt like I had enough time to study, half of us taped each lecture and it played constantly no matter what else I was doing - well NOT when I drove as audio tapes and the road feel put me to sleep. If I did not have a lecture tape to listen to (I went through 3 or 4 recorders) I would spend a few minutes, literally a few, 30 or less, reading before passing out. I would wake with the Big Blue Book on my chest - now when I think about it I think I learned by osmosis, the words soaking into my body while sleeping under the book.

Study groups - that is a tough one. I had been out of school for 20 years and back then we really did not do study groups. Everyone learns differently, if you can find a group that does not stray from the material and you learn well that way do it. I learned better just by discussion so my kids learned a lot of A&P, assessment and so forth because I would cover the material out loud. My kids coasted through their science classes in middle school. Your children may learn that way too, you will be surprised. My 10 yo daughter, back then, ended up in AP classes in Latin - she loved testing me on medical terminology the reason - the latin words to her were fun. We did homework together, the younger ones would play and sometimes listen.

My ASN program had two tracks - one for those that had taken all the basics like history, english and so forth but they also had tracks for older students that included the basics at night, some days I would get to go home and cook for the kids and then head back to night classes. I could not have gotten through school without my daughter's help with her little brothers. I left the meals ready and she would fix the plates, beep her Father to come get his, got the boys to eat, in their PJ's and they would be ready for bed when I got home from class. In between quarters the 5 of us would do something special even if it was just turning the den into a "camping site" and snuggled while watching something they wanted. One thing that I did for the kids was keep a wall calendar with my classes marked on it and my kids would get to mark them out knowing at the end things would be better. Sort of like an advent calendar, at the end of each section they knew playtime was coming.

It was not until the last quarter I worked nights in the ED I was going to work for after graduation. It was hard, looking back I still cannot believe I got through school, 22 months with no more than 3 hours of sleep a night or that in-between my first summer and fall quarters I had a neck fusion C3,4,and 5 and one carpel tunnel release at the same time.

I do not think a single one of my class of students thought we were keeping up, we felt like we were just barely hanging in until the end. After each test, while waiting for the grades, we would compare answers, pace and stress and we all just KNEW we flunked. Many times after the grades were posted there were the moist eyes of happiness and a few out right cases of relief crying. We loved that last quarter of clinicals because we could write our care plans and the rational could be filled in by one word - because (I said so).

Hang in there, if you truly want to be a nurse. Remember the "one" instructor in the beginning is trying to weed out those that they feel will not make it or are not serious nursing students - that same instructor later in the program will (if like my program) bend over backward to coach you to the finish line. Between each semester or quarter do something with your kids even if it is no more than sleeping in together or a family movie night with popcorn. When you have to study and they have homework y'all share the table and study together. Record those lectures for playback later and I almost forgot 3 x 5's or 4 x 6's with the major points, definitions, medications, disease processes written down for a easy study aid.

If I could go to nursing school (on a bet with my Mother which I never paid up) 20 years after graduating from HS, take between 11 to 13 hours each quarter, night classes, day classes, psych clinicals out of town, while dealing with 4 kids, 4 Yorkies, 2 cats, hamsters, a spouse that was never there and a Mother that was a whole another story, major neck surgery and my Dad having a heart attack you can do this.

You can do this, I know you can, just do not give up.

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Oct 13, 2019

Once you get through these two years of hell, you will be able to work less and earn more than double the money. You will get the time with your daughters back in the end. Don't think of two years, think of one semester at a time, one test at a time, and remember what a difference you'll be able to make once you start working.

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Oct 14, 2019

Nothing worth having ever came easy.

And this, too, shall pass.

You have to decide if the end result is worth it-are you giving up at the first sign of trouble? Is this your typical MO? How much better off will you and your family be if you can finish the program and get the degree?

But if I quit, what do I do with all this time I invested in prerequisite classes and CNA training?

What do you mean "what do I do with all this time I invested?" Sorry, that's time you will never get back.

beachbabe86 · Oct 14, 2019

I will say that I am different in all these replies. If you don't need the income then step away and be the mother to your children. They will only be this young once and and this is a vulnerable age. You will not regret it.

Nurse.Kelsey, BSN, RN · Oct 14, 2019

17 minutes ago, beachbabe86 said:
I will say that I am different in all these replies. If you don't need the income then step away and be the mother to your children. They will only be this young once and and this is a vulnerable age. You will not regret it.

People dont go into nursing for the income lol

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Oct 14, 2019

6 minutes ago, Nurse.Kelsey said:
People dont go into nursing for the income lol

Of course they do. Many people are making more money as a nurse than they were before.

Some nurses make six figures. That is “big money” to a lot of people.

Nurse.Kelsey, BSN, RN · Oct 14, 2019

@Horseshoe Of course some people only go in for the money (not sure if those are the best nurses). I was responding to someone who was suggesting that if the OP didnt need the money then to focus on her kids. As if that is the only reason.

MSO4foru, ADN · Oct 15, 2019

I went into my ADN program when my son was 10 months old. I worked 12 hr night shifts Fri and Sat night was in school. It was really hard. When I was done I had I slightly more than doubled my hourly pay. I have the knowledge of knowing I will always have a job. It was worth it. Keep plugging along.