Thinking about become a (male) Nurse, parents disapprove

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Hello fellow Canadians,

I will try my best to keep this as short as possible. Basically, I am a University student in Canada, having just started the first semester of my second year. I am 19 years old, almost 20. I am also a male. Back in High School, I wanted to be a doctor, but after conversing with a few family physicians that I was close to, I was put off of the path and applied to University as an Anthropology major, which also interested me. My parents were not very happy, and before Uni had even started, got me to drop Anthro and enter in the Sciences.

I did Sciences for my entire first year and decided that I would probably become a Pharmacist, since I was good at calculus and chemistry. My parents, once again, disapproved because it was now "too late" for me to be a Pharmacist, my entire first year would go to waste, and not only that, they wanted me to switch out of sciences (since apparently you can't get a job with a science major) and here I am now, second year of Uni, doing Accountant.

It has been just over a month since the start of the semester and I already hate it. I really can't see myself going down this route any longer, Accounting is not for me, I don't want to be at a desk all day crunching numbers, doing someone else's taxes. I was enrolled in 5 classes this semester, I dropped 2 (Accounting + Computer Business Systems) since I was not doing good in them, kept the other 3 I was doing good in (Business Math, macroeconomics, microeconomics), in secret, my parents don't know.

I was surfing YouTube a few days ago and came across a couple of videos by male nurses. I watched them, heard what they had to say about the job description, and honestly, I liked it a lot. I have always wanted to do something where I'd be able to help people (hence originally wanting to be a doctor), but was put off by the high-debt and time-consumption of med school. Nursing seems like a much better option, less time in school, plus there is more interaction with patients, which I like.

I brought it up with my mom today and she flipped. She gave me the whole lecture about how I was bringing shame on my family and how wrong it was. I come from a Punjabi family, Punjabi culture is very conservative, men aren't supposed to be nurses. Women are nurses + teachers, men are doctors/lawyers/engineers/businessmen etc... That is one reason she disapproves. Another is that she thinks it is a really dirty job, all about picking up other people's poop, she told me she wouldn't let me in the house if I did that, she would be too grossed out. I know it is a part of the job and wouldn't mind doing it for a patient who needed the help, but she is not accepting. And the final reason, she told me if I try to become a nurse, I have just wasted 2 years of Uni and that it was all for nothing. I am about 5,000 dollars in debt as of right now, she says it will all have been a waste of money. And I haven't even talked about it with my dad yet, he will likely react even worse.

Anyone else from a similar conservative background where the parents disapproved of their son becoming a nurse? How did you convince them?

Also, how does one go about becoming a nurse in Canada? Are there any (course) requirements you have to fulfill before going to nursing school? And once in nursing school, can you start working after 2 years (under supervision)? 4 years to be a RN, right?

Thank you guys :)

sorry to discourage you, I am the first generation of immigrant, I will definitely not let my son go to nursing, I never expect a career to be so unrespected by patients, unappreciated by manager; no matter how hard I tried;

I work for money, I put all my money into my business, looking forward to jumping to other profession or retire early;

Sorry to discourage you, but I believe you should listen to different voice;

Specializes in Pediatric/Adolescent, Med-Surg.
sorry to discourage you, I am the first generation of immigrant, I will definitely not let my son go to nursing, I never expect a career to be so unrespected by patients, unappreciated by manager; no matter how hard I tried;

I work for money, I put all my money into my business, looking forward to jumping to other profession or retire early;

Sorry to discourage you, but I believe you should listen to different voice;

You may know the down and dirty of nursing, but at the end of the day, if your son truly wants to be a nurse you can't stop him, seeing how he does need you to allow him to be a nurse.

Whatever happened to supporting our kid's futures, regardless of what they want to do?

Specializes in PACU, pre/postoperative, ortho.
sorry to discourage you, I am the first generation of immigrant, I will definitely not let my son go to nursing, I never expect a career to be so unrespected by patients, unappreciated by manager; no matter how hard I tried;

I work for money, I put all my money into my business, looking forward to jumping to other profession or retire early;

Sorry to discourage you, but I believe you should listen to different voice;

Your opinion is at least based on your experience in nursing, even if it was negative. OP's parents have expectations based purely on cultural sterotypes.

OP, life's too short to be miserable in a career someone else chose for you. Research your options, shadow, volunteer, talk to other nurses. If you choose to go the nursing route, you need to be prepared to follow through. Backing out of another program will validate your parents opinion that they "know what's best" for you. Good luck!

I am currently enrolled in UBC's accelerated RN-BSN program. The program is 20 months - 5 consecutive terms with only August off. I would say about 60-70% of my classmates have a bachelor's degree; you need at least 48 post-secondary credits to apply. The only pre-req is first year A&P (however, I think having a background in health sciences would make the program easier but there are people with various backgrounds - business, pol sci, english, etc.) After term 3 (which ends in July), you are eligible to work as an ESN. The program is intense and pretty competitive - I think around 15-20% of people who apply are accepted. Once the program ends, you would write the NCLEX and as long as you pass, you'd be a RN.

Specializes in med-surg, OR.
I did Sciences for my entire first year and decided that I would probably become a Pharmacist, since I was good at calculus and chemistry. My parents, once again, disapproved because it was now "too late" for me to be a Pharmacist, my entire first year would go to waste, and not only that, they wanted me to switch out of sciences

Why couldn't you still be a pharmacist? (If that is something you are still interested in) I would suggest seeing a guidance counselor at your school. Someone who is trained to provide career counseling, career choice testing, ect. There must be something in student services at your University, they may be able to help you explore your options.

Not in Canada.

In Ontario they have clinical externs - same thing as the ESNs in BC except that's in only for the summer between 3rd and 4th year - BC ones can work during 4th year after the summer. I know bc i was a clinical extern in toronto during nursing school and am now working in BC as a nurse and my unit gets ESNs. It's a great program!

Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

Really? Never heard of it any where near me.

I don't understand why it matters so much what your parents think. Are they the ones who have to do the job? No. You need to do what you want to do or you will always be miserable. A career is a choice that you need to make for yourself and nobody else.

Though I don't see why you still couldn't go to study pharmacy. Your year in silences wouldn't be a waste and would help you with the program. In my opinion pharmacy would be a better job than nursing, but again that's a decision you need to make for yourself.

And what exactly is it your parents want you to do anyway? Accounting? Wouldn't it be an even bigger waste if time and money to do a whole degree of something you hate and then maybe never use?

I don't understand why it matters so much what your parents think. Are they the ones who have to do the job? No. You need to do what you want to do or you will always be miserable. A career is a choice that you need to make for yourself and nobody else. Though I don't see why you still couldn't go to study pharmacy. Your year in silences wouldn't be a waste and would help you with the program. In my opinion pharmacy would be a better job than nursing but again that's a decision you need to make for yourself. And what exactly is it your parents want you to do anyway? Accounting? Wouldn't it be an even bigger waste if time and money to do a whole degree of something you hate and then maybe never use?[/quote']

* sciences not silences

Sorry typing on an iPhone

I'm a first year male nursing student in the accelerated 2 year BScN program at UofT. I finished a four year HBSc earlier, and I think most people in my program have a degree too!

My parents are pretty conservative, but I guess it helps that my mom is also a nurse. My dad initially did not approve, but once I started telling him stories about all the c sections and births I'm assisting in, and all the things we do with patients, he's starting to come around! The general public really does not understand and appreciate what nurses do, and even I didn't know everything nurses do before I started this program. But I can tell you it's been the most rewarding thing I've done, and am happy with my choice :)

Dude,

I'm just finishing up my BSCN and I'm 35. And a guy.

Nursing will be my second major career. Guys are in high demand - we bring different things to the workplace, just as female paramedics and cops I know bring a differerent (and very valid!) personal approach.

Regarding the whole family dynamics thing, buddy got news for you: This is Canada. Men and women are equal and can do any job, period. Leave your prior generation's patriarchal gender-biased nonsense at the door and live your own life, man. What's the female mortality rate like in Punjab/India, Afghanistan or such parts of the world? Might it be because only females are supposed to give medical/nursing care to females? Put that together with poor education for women and you see why I stay here.

I respect people's culturally based biases - even when it means somebody doesn't want me caring for their family member because I'm male. Of course, I explain, this may delay your being seen by an RN tonight. And as for doctors in the ER? Mostly male. So at 2am, it ain't Burger King... and you can't always have it your way.

Fair pay, always in demand, make a difference.... what could be better for work?

Oh and remember: It's not "male nurse", IT'S JUST "NURSE."

Good luck.

I am in a Practical Nursing program at Mohawk and I am a guy, I come from an Asian family and although my parents are supportive of nursing, they refuse to tell my relatives back in China about my program. The problem is in developing countries, health sciences are not as developed and it is extremely easy to become a nurse and a doctor so it is not a respectable job. You need to tell your parents to understand that nurses are a very well respected profession in Canada and not anything at all what they think it is from their native country.

I had a similar situation like you, I stayed an extra year in highschool and I also went to University for a year for a science program because I wanted to get into Pharmacy school, I don't know why your parents said its too late to become a Pharmacist because usually Pharmacy schools require you to have minimum of 2 years in a science program anyway before you can apply. So the point is, I also spent 2 years before I chosen nursing and you ll be surprised how common that is, only 2 people in my year of the program was straight from highschool, everyone either has another degree or has gone to another post-secondary institution.

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