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Things the patient shouldn't hear during surgery:

Humor   (2,737 Views 12 Comments)
by KaraLea KaraLea, LVN (Member) Member

5,446 Profile Views; 225 Posts

Nobody move, I just lost a contact lens.

Well, folks, this will be an experiment for us all.

you know what a kidney goes for on the black market these days? And this guy has two of them.

Better save that, We'll need it for the autopsy.

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225 Posts; 5,446 Profile Views

Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingy.

Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff?

Damn, there go the lights again.

Someone call the janitor--we're going to need a mop.

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219 Posts; 3,777 Profile Views

"Oops!"

"I've never seen anything like that before."

"I just learned this technique yesterday."

"What do you mean this isn't Mr. Smith?"

"I thought this was the bad one?"

Gary

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104 Posts; 3,585 Profile Views

"I saw this on an episode of ER once!"

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288 Posts; 6,978 Profile Views

"Hold my scotch and water and watch this......"

"oh shit"

"Dude...wheres my scalpel?"

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455 Posts; 6,673 Profile Views

"Hold this while I go to the bank to deposit my paycheck" :eek:

Linda

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312 Posts; 5,520 Profile Views

Originally posted by WashYaHands

"Hold this while I go to the bank to deposit my paycheck" :eek:

 

Linda

:chuckle Sad... but funny!

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353 Posts; 5,863 Profile Views

"I'll be right back"

(See the story about the Surgeon who went to the bank during a spinal fusion!).....

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169 Posts; 2,610 Profile Views

"Hang on....this person doesn't have an appendix. Let's go find the gall bladder...."

"But I don't do mastectomy....oh jolly heck...let's just have a go anyway"

"Would anyone mind if I ducked out for a quick ciggie?"

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104 Posts; 3,585 Profile Views

Surgeon: "Good afternoon, Dr, Jones!! What do you mean, what am I doing to YOUR patient??? Isn't this OR6?? ooooooooooops...."

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Andy S. has 15 years experience as a BSN, RN.

157 Posts; 4,290 Profile Views

lol- you guys got to hear this!

When I was a student I was observing a surgery, nothing special only a lapchole. They finished up and were getting ready to transfer him back to the stretcher when the blanket covering his legs snagged on something and pulled down. It pulled down enough to see something wasn't right, the air put in his abd during surgery had traveled down......to his scrotum. His scrotum was HUGE! Well, there is the surgeon SQUEEZING his scrotum making sure it is air and not blood. Then from behind the patient's head you hear....."Knock it off, I'm waking him up!!" Imagine waking up from surgery like that!!

Everyone could hardly keep from tears from not laughing until the patient was taken to PACU.

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DIPLOMATICRN4HIRE has 18 years experience as a MSN, RN and specializes in CVOR,CNOR,NEURO,TRAUMA,TRANSPLANTS.

501 Posts; 5,096 Profile Views

Working in surgery myself there isnt hardly a day goes by that I dont just about die from laughing, if it isnt the patient , its the Dr, and if not him the anesthesia, or the techs I work with... The best humor is sick humor;

Just last week in an anal fisutla case: Dr made statement of : Oh this is gonna hurt,( he noticed that his srubs had untied themselves and he was in a room full of woman) lol(ode to the sterile gown )

yes it hurt , his pride

patients waking up and talking in thier sleep , thats always something good....

I have learned more gibberish cuss words in Or than ever working the floor or ER

and yes as I read the posting about the co2 in the mans scrotum during the lap chole - thats not all that uncommon , they usually wake up and start swinging.

Had one patient we shall say she was a Healthy female and we were doing some gyn case on her and a or tech came into the room and she under half anesthesia inadvertantly informed him of what she would do to him if he was just 4 inches longer... Needless to say he was beet red and didnt return to our room the rest of the day, and didnt speak us for almost a week to this day I smile and whisper 4 inches more to him and crack up

Most of the things that happen in the Or are warped and I love them,It breaks the seriousness of the cases and the high pressure... But yes a Dr will always ask for the mysterious instrument that one he knows what he is asking for.

Zoe

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