Things you'd LOVE to tell coworkers...and get away with it!

Nurses Relations

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Please don't label this thread "negative". It is meant to be fun.

Your scrubs are ugly.

I don't think you are "cute" when you get all googley-eyed and giggly around the young docs. I think it makes nurses look bad.

I cannot BELIEVE you were nominated for A Daisy Award! Did you nominate yourself?

It's called deodorant, use it.

Do your own assessment and stop badgering me for every single detail during report.

I swear I am going to put Ex Lax all over my lunch so the next time someone calls out for the runs, I will know it is you who keeps stealing my food!

Yes, my stethoscope is nice and it was expensive. Buy your own.

No time to help me turn my patient, huh? Yet, every time you need help, I have been there for you.

Your situational awareness sucks. While you are browsing the latest deals on the internet, I am drowning. Look around and help out your coworkers.

I'm happy you look rested and ready for your shift. Next time get here 15 minutes earlier so I can leave on time and be rested and ready for you.

No, you don't ALWAYS get the crappy assignment. I don't think you'd be happy with ANY assignment.

If you're sooooo sick of this place- leave.

Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

Something a charge nurse actually said to a doc on the phone at 10:45 PM: "Well, Dr. M_______, If you would learn to write a COMPLETE order, I wouldn't have to call you for _____(dose,route,freq.,etc.) clarification now, would I?!"

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Yes, I am the bomb. Thanks for noticing :smokin:

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us average ones can gripe all we want as long as we're not all claiming to be "awesome" nurses. i don't know that many awesome nurses, although i do know a lot of average, below average, above average and really good nurses. or is "awesome" merely what one assumes one is when ones signs on to allnurses.com to complain about everyone else?

unless they mean "awesomely awful". i've seen a few nurses like that.

ok....:confused:

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Home Health.

The client is NPO, with a G-Tube. He's had it almost all of his life. If a med is ordered "by mouth," I have to call and get an order to change the route to "via G-Tube." No, I can't just change it in the MAR, or give it via G-Tube regardless of what the order says.

When you give me report, I don't need to hear about how anal the other nurse is, or what idiots the LNAs are. Just tell me what happened with the client. Please.

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You know what? If you put as much effort into working as you did b____ing about everyone else, you would be a whole lot more productive. Plus, I do NOT want to hear "you are in for a bad shift" when I just walk in. It just starts the day with negativity. I'll make my own mind up if a shift is bad or not. You just go and catch up on your work, instead of leaving it to me for once.

Your shift finishes when you clock out, NOT when the night staff come in. Nothing is more annoying than seeing the day shift in their coats whilst we're in report and call lights are going off. (same goes for the last half hour of night shift, too).

I do not care about your family drama. End of discussion. Take it to someone who cares.

I do not want to see photos of your kid. Kids are great and all that, but I'm not really interested in how well yours are doing in potty training or their latest haircut photos. Really. No, REALLY.

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Specializes in Geriatrics, LTC.
When you give me report, I don't need to hear about how anal the other nurse is, or what idiots the LNAs are. Just tell me what happened with the client. Please.

That's a good one...

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Specializes in Rehab, LTC.

Are you SURE you passed YOUR boards???? Just sayin........:uhoh3:

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Specializes in Geriatrics, LTC.

If you want to talk trash about another staff member or resident, by all means -- go straight ahead. But, don't involve me, especially when there's family around or doctors around...

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Specializes in Med/Surg, DSU, Ortho, Onc, Psych.

Did you get your degree from a cornflakes packet, or from the University of Beyond the Black Stump??

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I know I am not an ICU nurse. I know I am not on the ERT (emergency response team). However I am a daggone good nurse, and I KNOW my patient, and I KNOW the criteria for calling the ERT, AND MY PATIENT MEETS THAT CRITERIA THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Just because he is not about to code this very minute does not meant that this is not a true ERT situation. Going from walky talky with SpO2 95% on room air with SBP 120's RR 16, to SpO2 75% on room air with SBP 180 and RR 30-36, cold/clammy/diaphoretic is an acute change and warrants a call to the ERT...whether or not his lungs are clear to auscultation. This patient has also had a 5 kg weight gain in the the past week...and has and EF of 15%...don't tell me it is anxiety, and I am overreacting.

The ERT was set up as a resource for the floor nurses...and you are being one crappy resource. You are the reason the floor nurses don't utilize the ERT, and wait until the situation is truly dire before calling the ERT.

Again, per our protocols...we have vital signs paramaters, mental status changes, neurological changes, and/or if a nurse is "concerned about a pt".

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

*Don't gripe at me for calling you for a set of VS that are outside call parameters. If you don't want me to call you, change the damn parameters.

*I know you have had a crappy night and don't want to hear from me any more. All those patients you operated on, guess what? I admitted them. I know what a crappy night it's been. And I don't really want to have to page your witchy tail about a crashing patient any more than you want to hear from me about it. But guess what? The patient is crashing and you need to listen to me. NOW.

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Bite my shiny, metal a**.

-Bender of Futurama

:yeah:

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