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Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.

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AngelfireRN has 15 years experience as a MSN, RN, APRN and specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.

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Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: You are reading page 89 of Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

talaxandra specializes in Medical.

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I'm sorry you got bumped for an emergent case, but the fact that you are not the emergency is a good thing, no?

And "Well, that's the downside of being admitted to a major hospital - you get great service from very experienced staff but sometimes get bumped for trauma patients."

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elizabells is a BSN, RN and specializes in NICU.

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"If the smell of smoke coming off you can knock me, who has smoked a pack a day for ten years, halfway off my feet and make me instantly nauseated when you come to visit your just-had-open-heart-surgery BABY, perhaps you should look into changing your shirt when you get here."

Oh wait, I totally did say that. But, you know, nicer.

I'm sorry you got bumped for an emergent case, but the fact that you are not the emergency is a good thing, no?

I have said that.

I say this all the time. Sometimes it actually gets them to stop complaining for, oh, at least a minute and a half.

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4 Posts; 964 Profile Views

Sorry.....I can't fix stupid.

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31 Posts; 1,720 Profile Views

All of you guys SCARE ME... lol...

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southernbeegirl has 16 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in Rehab, Infection, LTC.

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My mom's been hospitalized a number of times, and the only time she ever heard anyone REALLY complain about the food was when she was in to have her tubes tied (back in the days when this was 3 days in the hospital) and her roommate was a 300-pound diabetic who was there because she wouldn't take care of herself. Well, OF COURSE she didn't like what they were giving her to eat!

had a 350lb diabetic, in for IV antibiotics for cellulitis because he has so much edema he basically keeps cellulitis. while i was running his iv, he was on the phone ordering food from shoneys because we dont give him enough food. :rolleyes:

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talaxandra specializes in Medical.

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One of my patients has chronic back pain - she's now 150k (~330lb), can only mobilise 5 steps (to her electric scooter), and has chronic cellulitis from injecting 120mg morphine 4/24, plus TDS IM midazolam and TDS IM diazepam. Despite this limited mobility she's able to get cans of Coke from the fridge (2-3/night) and chocolate biscuits from the drawers, though not the tea with 2 sugars she asks me for a couple of times a night.

I want to say "Maybe your back pain would be a little better if you didn't have to move quite so much weight every time you change position. Cutting out the added sugar and fat will help stop you from having to move around even more."

I do like her, and I'm certainly no poster girl for being tiny, but if that's just overnight... Cellulitis and diabetes isn't a great combination.

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220 Posts; 3,901 Profile Views

look at your med chart, you are allowed meds(A and B) at W,X,Y and Z. You have already had everything prescribed and your PRN meds so stop ringing that bell before i insert it someplace the sun dont shine. And another thing, you are not getting morphine so stop begging, its kinda sad.

To the relatives of patient in bed 4, im sorry but i cant give him back his call bell,dressing gown cord,belt or tie as he keeps trying to hang himself with them. No i also will not give him his shoes,book or flask back as he keeps throwing them at the nursing staff.

One to the security guards, when you are summonded to the ward to find a patient holding a nurse in a head lock please do your job.

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1 Follower; 1,016 Posts; 13,754 Profile Views

Can you tell me, please, WHY so you so hyper-focused on your bowels? I mean -- at some point, you're going to poop. It just can't go on forever. I know that when I'm in the hospital, I wouldn't want anyone giving me an enema -- why do you beg for it? You are only 40 -- not 80. I don't get it. You really like to poop, don't you? And how exactly do you get along at home without three different kinds of laxatives, 2 different types of enemas, and a bedside commode with a nurse getting you up to it almost 5 times every 8 hours? I mean -- how do you do it???

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1 Follower; 1,016 Posts; 13,754 Profile Views

I have no idea where your doctor is at this moment, and No, I cannot "get him on the phone" for you to complain about your minor "back spasms" you all of a sudden decided you have in addition to the million dollar workup you're getting to rule out your other issues. Your doc will round when all the other doctors round, and he will be in here eventually. One doctor does NOT report into each and every nurse who is taking care of his 80 patients -- he truly does not. He also does not sit around all day waiting for us to call him about your hangnail -- I mean -- it's about the WAIT. And don't worry, when the time comes, you WILL be routed OUT of this place, as soon as is humanly possible. So, why don't you just lay back, enjoy the free room, TV, food service and nurse, and just go with the flow. Honestly, I'd give ANYTHING to be able to lie there for 3 days and do absolutely nothing but watch TV, eat, and be waited on. Why can't you just enjoy that? I mean, dude, I'd give ANYTHING to be able to do that -- what is so wrong about it?

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JBudd has 38 years experience as a MSN and specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

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No, you cannot bring in your miniature pig to cheer up your daughter after her appy.

Oh wait, he already did. And got thrown out.

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nerdtonurse? is a BSN, RN and specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

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Especially after the complete (*#*@( of a night I had last night....

Does it say "WAITRESS" on my ID? No ma'am, it does not, and I'm NOT calling people in at 0300 because you want a grilled cheese sandwich and chili cheese fries. Go home!

Don't tell me how much pain you're in from your burns. You have a completely severed spinal cord and you didn't feel a thing when I put my hand into the stage 4 on your buttocks up to the wrist packing the thing, so don't tell me you feel the blisters on your leg...You can't feel those burns, which we all know you self inflicted to get IV narcotics. And don't scream the house down because I send the 27 (!) bottles of Xanax, Adivan, phenerghan, Clonazapam, etc. to the pharmacy so you don't narc yourself into the next life, on top of the (+) for coke and marijuana on the drug screen. And the doc has called protective services, you're going to have a REAL surprise when they come to take your kids away. GO HOME.

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nurseforlife specializes in telemetry, medsurg, homecare, psychiatry.

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I would love to tell some patients to say "thank you" now and then.

Or even, When you entered the building did you see "Hotel" or "Hospital" on the sign?

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