Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight.
I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave.
Yelling and hurling obscenities at me will not get you your pain meds any sooner than they are ordered. Nor will having your family member or entourage do the same.
Threatening lawsuits and having umpteen family members camp out in the halls or hold up the nurse's station will not get you preferential treatment.
Physically grabbing me as I go down the hall is NOT a good idea.
I do not give the orders, but I do have to follow/enforce them. This is something that you should take up with your doctor.
No, I will not call him again to ask him for more pain medicine. He has been called twice and has said no both times.
No, I will not give you his number so you can "straighten him out".
No, you are not my only patient, and I highly doubt that you are single-handedly paying my salary. On the off chance that you are, let's talk about a raise.
NO, NO, NO, I most empahatically will NOT come get you when it is time for your next pain shot while you are having a smoke break. I also will not bring it to you in the smoking room. (Have actually said that, I am allergic to cigarettes. I did it once, had an asthma attack, desatted to 83, and turned blue, according to the patient and my charge nurse, after the patient had to help me back to the floor).
No, I don't really care if your family has not eaten all day, they drove here by themselves, they are not sick, and no, I will not call for 6 guest trays. (This of course, is if the patient in question does not need all 6 family members present, and is not at death's door).
No, you may not have 3 six-packs of soda from the kitchen, there are other people that would like a snack, too.
No, they will not open up the kitchen up just for you, at 1 in the morning, because you don't like the snacks we have on the floor.
I could think of hundreds, but those will do for a start. I know it sounds mean, but this is why I got out of bedside nursing. When a hospital becomes the Hilton, I'm gone!
No, this isn't a hotel. If you want hotel like service, go to the Hilton. I also should warn you, the maids there aren't nurses, and if you ask them for a sponge bath or to hold your member while you pee, you will get a free transfer to the county hotel. You will get free room service there, and if you're nice enough, maybe one of the deputies will leave a mint on the pillow. Maybe.
"you can look at me like a mean devil all day long, I'm not your daughter, it doesn't bother me. You WILL get out of the bed today If you WANT TO LIVE.... Of course, if you just want to lay there and die, you CAN get your daughter to take care of you, and maybe you'll be able to manipulate her with your dirty looks, but, I don't feel sorry for you, GET UP, and walk so you can get better."
I could come here every night, I LOVE this thread!
Specializes in Management, Emergency, Psych, Med Surg.
On the subject of hot sauce enemas, I hade a young girl come into the ED one night unconscious because her boyfriend had given her a tequila enema. She died.
On the subject of hot sauce enemas, I hade a young girl come into the ED one night unconscious because her boyfriend had given her a tequila enema. She died.
Wow. What a rollercoaster.
I'm reading the post:
I had a young girl come into the ED one night because her boyfriend gave her a tequila enema.
At this point I am like ***.................
Then: She died.
Now I'm like
Oh my, he is in trouble too I bet. Can I ask, maybe if you'd PM me, but how did that lead to death? What happened?
Specializes in Management, Emergency, Psych, Med Surg.
You know, these drug attached people are just a pain and I do tell them what their pain medicine schedule is and let them know that they can be on that call light every minute but I am not going to give it to them early. In terms of diet and her glucose, so be it. Every time I check your sugar and you refuse insulin, I am just going to document it. Everytime you eat stuff that you are not supposed to eat, I am going to tell you not to eat it and when you do I am just going to document. You are an adult and you can make choices for yourself. If you don't want to take care of yourself, why don't you just sign out AMA. I will get the paper work for you to sign. I HAVE told people this.
When I was working on an ortho floor shortly after graduation, my patient needed to have her IV line changed and I went and got the necessary supplies. As I came back into the room, my LOL-type patient said very sweetly, "Why don't you just set that down and I'll wait for my daughter. You see, she's been a nurse for a lot longer than you have so she should probably do it instead." WHAT? When my assurances that I had done it many times before didn't change her mind, nor did reminding her her daughter lived out of state and didn't work at the hospital and wasn't licensed in the state failed to sway her, my charge finally did it. For her entire admission, she referred to me as, "that sweet child-nurse." All I could think of at the time was Archie Bunker's line, "I've made up my mind so don't confuse me with the facts..." when what I WANTED to say was "Keep it up and I'll have the doctor order you some nice Ativan in at least three different forms, including room spray and in one of your milkshakes!" AAARRRRUUUUGGGHHH!
No, I'm not calling your doctor coz you want more pain drugs or nausea drugs. If you'd stick to your clear liquid diet and turn your lights off, TV off or down, keep your O2 on and relax and work with the meds, you might feel better.
To the lady last night who gave me the evil eye in the a.m. just because on a night we were short techs, nurses and any decent measure of help, I FORGOT to move her husband to a "window" bed:
Lady, if you haven't noticed, hospitals are short staffed. I am ONE woman w/ five patients and NO help. You perhaps could have called in and reminded me -- that would have been courteaous. But the immediate needs of pain, meds, and immediate care of my other four patients trumps your husband's need to be near a "window seat" for now.
I do not appreciate your glares and your short attitude with me. You should be grateful that your husband is receiving care at all in this hospital, that you have insurance, that doctors are working SO hard to find out why he's having repetitive fevers. Your husband is wonderful and very appreciative -- you, however, are an ungrateful wretch of a woman who thinks the world must revolve around you. You and others like you are the reason for problems in health care, in my opinion. But go ahead and crab == because I feel the days are numbered as to how long hospitals and this economy can support bending over backwards for folks like you. There's going to come a breaking point -- and mark my words, you will be on the wrong side of it.
To the family members and/or friends who parade in from ER for the admission to our floor:
Please wait in the family room so I can get started on patient care...the pt. comes first...
I cannot scramble around the whole hospital for a reclliner just because the doctor said you were guaranteed a recliner;
I don't want you to answer the questions I am asking the patient unless said pt. is unable to answer;
Box lunches are for pts, go to the cafe for your food;
No, don't bring any food back to the pt. room; the pt. is nauseated, has an NG tube and eating in front of her is just plain mean, as well as smell of your food is making her nauseated;
No, I cannot "share" with you the personal issues your loved one has unless there is permission from the pt.
There's many more of these we can all add to, but most importantly, these are things I'd like to say just ONCE and not have to repeat over and over and over and over and over to the same family/friends.
squeakykitty
934 Posts
No, this isn't a hotel. If you want hotel like service, go to the Hilton. I also should warn you, the maids there aren't nurses, and if you ask them for a sponge bath or to hold your member while you pee, you will get a free transfer to the county hotel. You will get free room service there, and if you're nice enough, maybe one of the deputies will leave a mint on the pillow. Maybe.