Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight.
I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave.
Yelling and hurling obscenities at me will not get you your pain meds any sooner than they are ordered. Nor will having your family member or entourage do the same.
Threatening lawsuits and having umpteen family members camp out in the halls or hold up the nurse's station will not get you preferential treatment.
Physically grabbing me as I go down the hall is NOT a good idea.
I do not give the orders, but I do have to follow/enforce them. This is something that you should take up with your doctor.
No, I will not call him again to ask him for more pain medicine. He has been called twice and has said no both times.
No, I will not give you his number so you can "straighten him out".
No, you are not my only patient, and I highly doubt that you are single-handedly paying my salary. On the off chance that you are, let's talk about a raise.
NO, NO, NO, I most empahatically will NOT come get you when it is time for your next pain shot while you are having a smoke break. I also will not bring it to you in the smoking room. (Have actually said that, I am allergic to cigarettes. I did it once, had an asthma attack, desatted to 83, and turned blue, according to the patient and my charge nurse, after the patient had to help me back to the floor).
No, I don't really care if your family has not eaten all day, they drove here by themselves, they are not sick, and no, I will not call for 6 guest trays. (This of course, is if the patient in question does not need all 6 family members present, and is not at death's door).
No, you may not have 3 six-packs of soda from the kitchen, there are other people that would like a snack, too.
No, they will not open up the kitchen up just for you, at 1 in the morning, because you don't like the snacks we have on the floor.
I could think of hundreds, but those will do for a start. I know it sounds mean, but this is why I got out of bedside nursing. When a hospital becomes the Hilton, I'm gone!
...sometimes they don't realize by them touching the equipment or fooling around with any medical machine, they give us more work to do on account of their good intentions
I get my panties in a bunch when the family clog up the room with NO regard for any of the other patients/ residents. So help me, one of these days, as I'm providing care for resident and a roommates family member peeks through/ opens the privacy curtan, I'm going to throw a soiled wet wipe at them.
Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.
"No, ma'am. Yes, I'm quite sure."
To the craniorectal inversion who asked if I could do a UA on her to see if she had an ear infection. No, I'm not making it up. I was proud of me. I held it together. The rest of the clinic was already out the back door, howling.
To the craniorectal inversion who asked if I could do a UA on her to see if she had an ear infection. No, I'm not making it up. I was proud of me. I held it together. The rest of the clinic was already out the back door, howling.
How did you get through that with a straight face? I would have lost it LOL
Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.
How did you get through that with a straight face? I would have lost it LOL
Shock, initially. Then I was looking for the camera. I was sure she (or someone) was shining me. By the time I realized she was serious (ANY infection in your body will show up in your urine, dontcha know), it was a struggle, lol.
I am not a faceless robot that exists to wait on you hand and foot! I bother to learn your name and treat you like a human being so please do the same!
Yes, I am a male nursing student. I have a "nursing student" patch on my scrubs, am 6'1", weigh 280, shaved bald, and have fists the size of hams...what gave it away?
No, I am not smart enough to go to med school. Actually, maybe I AM smart enough to not go to med school.
No, I am not gay...why do you ask, are you interested?
No, I am not interested in meeting your granddaughter, who is likely a bridge troll with lip hair long enough to braid with a personality to match.
No, I will not clean your hoo-hah again whilst you close your eyes with a grin on your face. Besides, I have seen roadkill that smells better.
No, I cannot sneak over to the med cart and swipe "just a little" and keep it between us. But here is a hammer, feel free to smack yourself with it until you feel a rush...I will even help you and "keep it just between us".
No, I do not know when your care provider will be here, but I will make sure to call him/her and tell them to take their time.
No, I will not go and fetch your family some McDonald's...here is a chair lift so they can attempt to get their combined weight of 13 tons off the floor.
No, I do not know what I am doing...see these books? I am a nursing student you dumba** OF COURSE I don't know what I am doing (yet).
Hygiene Queen
2,232 Posts
... or that they can kill somebody!