Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight.
I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave.
Yelling and hurling obscenities at me will not get you your pain meds any sooner than they are ordered. Nor will having your family member or entourage do the same.
Threatening lawsuits and having umpteen family members camp out in the halls or hold up the nurse's station will not get you preferential treatment.
Physically grabbing me as I go down the hall is NOT a good idea.
I do not give the orders, but I do have to follow/enforce them. This is something that you should take up with your doctor.
No, I will not call him again to ask him for more pain medicine. He has been called twice and has said no both times.
No, I will not give you his number so you can "straighten him out".
No, you are not my only patient, and I highly doubt that you are single-handedly paying my salary. On the off chance that you are, let's talk about a raise.
NO, NO, NO, I most empahatically will NOT come get you when it is time for your next pain shot while you are having a smoke break. I also will not bring it to you in the smoking room. (Have actually said that, I am allergic to cigarettes. I did it once, had an asthma attack, desatted to 83, and turned blue, according to the patient and my charge nurse, after the patient had to help me back to the floor).
No, I don't really care if your family has not eaten all day, they drove here by themselves, they are not sick, and no, I will not call for 6 guest trays. (This of course, is if the patient in question does not need all 6 family members present, and is not at death's door).
No, you may not have 3 six-packs of soda from the kitchen, there are other people that would like a snack, too.
No, they will not open up the kitchen up just for you, at 1 in the morning, because you don't like the snacks we have on the floor.
I could think of hundreds, but those will do for a start. I know it sounds mean, but this is why I got out of bedside nursing. When a hospital becomes the Hilton, I'm gone!
you called the ambulance because you were having "terrible chest pain" and have a history of mi and stents of course the doctor is going to admit youwhat did u think was going to happen
I can relate! A couple of months ago I had one of those patients. Came in to the ER, about 0300 decided she didn't want the prescribed treatment. Doctor and I are both in talking with her about the rationale for treatment, her history, family history, possible complications. It was really frustrating. I'm all for patients controlling their health care decisions, but seriously--why come in if you don't want treatment?
To another couple of patients--it's been really wonderful getting to know you for these last three nights. You've been a joy to work with and your progress has been phenomenal. I wish you all of the best. Oh wait, I did tell them that. :)
"You know how you went to ICU three times because you were completely unrousable and we didn't know why? And then the fourth time someone decided to a BAL as well as a drug screen, and found you 6 times over the legal limit? Yeah, don't do that again!"
It's been a couple of months - and today it was deja vu all over again...
Yes, your son has a drug problem. No, this ER visit is not because he was "hanging around with those people". This ER visit occurred because your son injected heroin into this vein in his arm. When 3 stamp bags didn't give him quite the desired high, he used 3 more. And it was all a great trip, until his respirations settled around 2-3 per minute. The "poison" that paramedics administered counteracted the heroin and made him breathe spontaneously again. Yes, it made him a little agitated. Yes, he sure did take a swing at the MD treating him -- that's her over there, trying to continue to work while ignoring that red, swollen area on her left cheek.
And yes indeed, the police officer you see walking towards us is gathering statements from those of us who were present during his assault of the MD, and yes, when we're confident that enough time has elapsed since he injected the heroin, he will be leaving the hospital in the company of that officer to be booked on that charge, which is a felony in this state.
Yes, I wish your momma would come off the vent, we could get rid of all these tubes, and she'd be well again -- so she could smack the ever lovin' buhjeezus out of your lazy, drug addicted gluteus maximus, kick you and all your drug buddies out of her house, and force you to grow up and get a job. You're 43, for pete's sake!
You ask me if you are bossy. Of course, being the sweet person I am, I avoid the question and just tell you that I think you KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT. But yes, you are bossy and the most obnoxious resident in this place. I will be extra sweet to you so you don't decide to dream up 'stories' to tell people.
Most people understand the concept of "your nurse is busy right now dealing with a patient who isn't doing well. I'm not your nurse, but I am a nurse and am happy to help you until she's free." Apparently you aren't most people.
"Contrary to what the commercials tell you, you don't come to the hospital to be waited on in comfort. You come here to work at getting well, and some of the work you have to do might be uncomfortable. And, no, it doesn't particularly make you look witty to address me as 'Nurse Ratched' when I expect you to do things you'd rather not."
If your psychotic screaming wife comes and tells me ONE MORE TIME that it smells like urine, I will give her a bleach wipe and toss her out the window.
If your psychotic screaming wife comes and tells me ONE MORE TIME that it smells like urine, I will give her a bleach wipe and toss her out the window.
Don't bother with the bleach wipe -- just toss her.
Aurora77
861 Posts
To another couple of patients--it's been really wonderful getting to know you for these last three nights. You've been a joy to work with and your progress has been phenomenal. I wish you all of the best. Oh wait, I did tell them that. :)