Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight.
I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave.
Yelling and hurling obscenities at me will not get you your pain meds any sooner than they are ordered. Nor will having your family member or entourage do the same.
Threatening lawsuits and having umpteen family members camp out in the halls or hold up the nurse's station will not get you preferential treatment.
Physically grabbing me as I go down the hall is NOT a good idea.
I do not give the orders, but I do have to follow/enforce them. This is something that you should take up with your doctor.
No, I will not call him again to ask him for more pain medicine. He has been called twice and has said no both times.
No, I will not give you his number so you can "straighten him out".
No, you are not my only patient, and I highly doubt that you are single-handedly paying my salary. On the off chance that you are, let's talk about a raise.
NO, NO, NO, I most empahatically will NOT come get you when it is time for your next pain shot while you are having a smoke break. I also will not bring it to you in the smoking room. (Have actually said that, I am allergic to cigarettes. I did it once, had an asthma attack, desatted to 83, and turned blue, according to the patient and my charge nurse, after the patient had to help me back to the floor).
No, I don't really care if your family has not eaten all day, they drove here by themselves, they are not sick, and no, I will not call for 6 guest trays. (This of course, is if the patient in question does not need all 6 family members present, and is not at death's door).
No, you may not have 3 six-packs of soda from the kitchen, there are other people that would like a snack, too.
No, they will not open up the kitchen up just for you, at 1 in the morning, because you don't like the snacks we have on the floor.
I could think of hundreds, but those will do for a start. I know it sounds mean, but this is why I got out of bedside nursing. When a hospital becomes the Hilton, I'm gone!
Honey, you are 23, A/O/ambulatory with no sensory deficit. Don't tell me you're in terrible pain from seizures, and need IV morphine and demerol AND phenergan, all mixed together and pushed "real fast" to make you feel better -- especially since....
Ready for it.....
YOU'VE NEVER HAD A SEIZURE, YOU PASSED OUT BECAUSE YOU WERE STONED. And you do it every time your monthly check comes!!!!!!!!
Maybe I should just start my patient introduction with, "Hi, I'm Nerd and I'll be your nurse to night, and I have already seen the results of your ETOH/drug screen."
Nothing new. My mother's 75 and she said her grandmother was the same way after having a stroke, back in the 1940s.
I had a teacher who was raised very strictly and NEVER swore. She had a stroke and ended up in hospital. The nurses gave her a journal to write her feelings in and all she did was fill it with cuss words. When she later rehabilitated she looked back on the journal and her and her mother were absolutely horrified.
I had a teacher who was raised very strictly and NEVER swore. She had a stroke and ended up in hospital. The nurses gave her a journal to write her feelings in and all she did was fill it with cuss words. When she later rehabilitated she looked back on the journal and her and her mother were absolutely horrified.
Repressed thoughts?
I also have patients who cry out during bathing: "no, daddy no!!" and such. Very sad.
Having said the above, I also know you are venting and I am willing to say, most of us in the health care field have had shifts where if one more patient calls us a bad name or cusses us out, we will run for the hills and not look back!
"How do you wipe yourself at home?" I get tired of lazy patients who can walk and eat without help, but call you in the room to wipe them when they get off the BSC. Are you serious!
If you read my reply properly I said with no gastrointestinal issues from stress or other! I am talking about the bowel obsessed people who just decide at 3am they would like to do a poo! Hey, this is my thing I would like to tell others anyway
Tulip, I am right there with you. Most elderly are obsessed with pooping. They start to panic if they dont poop every 8 hours. I think buying stock in milk of magnesia might be a good idea, especially with all the baby boomers coming of "age."
Tulip, I am right there with you. Most elderly are obsessed with pooping. They start to panic if they dont poop every 8 hours. I think buying stock in milk of magnesia might be a good idea, especially with all the baby boomers coming of "age."
A lot of them were raised with the belief that they had to "go" at least once a day, and if they didn't, they were given laxatives and enemas.
I predict that you will see less of that as the baby boomers age, and in the years to come, people won't be as concerned about their bowel habits unless they really ARE constipated.
Stop using the D*** call light every time you can't reach something (your phone, tissues, remote control, glasses, cup, etc.) when you are a walky talky who can get up and get it yourself.
If you call and the person who answers the call asks what you need, please tell them. Don't just say "I need to see my nurse right away." Then when we drop what we're doing, rush in the room thinking you may be dying, you tell us you just needed more icewater, which anyone else on the floor could have gotten for you.
You haven't pooped since last night. No I will not give you a laxative, enema, suppository, digital disimpaction. I don't know why people become obsessed with their bowels when they get ill.
No I will not call your doctor at 6 am to ask them when they are going to round because you want to go home NOW. Just as you are not MY only patient, you are not THEIR only patient, either.
Stop WHINING!!!!
No I will not wipe your butt. You live alone at home and need to wipe your own butt. If you can't wipe your own butt, you are going to end up in a nursing home, so it is for your own good that I make you do it yourself.
I don't care that you are best buddies (or neighbors or anything else) with the CEO, medical director, CNO, nursing supervisor, director of my unit, or anyone else. I am NOT going to give you special treatment because the homeless man in the next room matters to me just as much as you, so GET OVER IT.
You doctor wrote a discharge order for you. Great. But I still have 5 other patients; one is having chest pain, one is confused and wandering in the halls, one needs to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes, another needs to be prepped for a procedure, and the other one has a doctor who is at the nurse's station barking orders WAY faster than I can compute them. So you need to sit down, shut up, and be thankful that you are healthy enough to go home. If you don't care about your prescriptions and instructions, leave AMA. But stop calling and sending your family members to the desk to omplain that the doctor said you could go home 15 minutes ago and your IV is still in.
Sorry, just needed to vent a bit.... Had a rough 4 shifts in a row. That was therapeutic. :)
I also have patients who cry out during bathing: "no, daddy no!!" and such. Very sad.
Having said the above, I also know you are venting and I am willing to say, most of us in the health care field have had shifts where if one more patient calls us a bad name or cusses us out, we will run for the hills and not look back!
oh gosh, i've had patients do the same thing. it's horrible! i also had one lady that had been raped when she was young and in her dementia, she relived it over and over:crying2:
A lot of them were raised with the belief that they had to "go" at least once a day, and if they didn't, they were given laxatives and enemas.
I predict that you will see less of that as the baby boomers age, and in the years to come, people won't be as concerned about their bowel habits unless they really ARE constipated.
omg i feel sorry for ANY nurse that ends up taking care of MY mother! she's been obsessed with her bowels for 20 yrs and shes only 59. i think i'm just going to say "im sorry" to anyone before they enter her room, lol. it's gonna be awful, lol. i'm allready planning which drugs i'm gonna tell them to drug her up with. so far i'm thinking...haldol, geodon, xanax, ativan and valium. all scheduled round the clock! whatcha think?
I had a patient say do I have to call my wife? I bust out laughing because the way they said it gave me a Madea flashback. It was from Diary of a Mad Black Woman when Madea said:
Brenda: That's it I'm calling the police.
Madea: I aint scared a no po po. Call da po po hoe... Call da po po hoe.
to my new PIA female patient that threatens to call her family if you don't comply with her every request within one minute...
go ahead! call them! maybe they can come help you because I'M BUSY!
Virgo_RN, BSN, RN
3,543 Posts
Drop in a CVAD during chest compressions?