...Then you let it go. That's how you take care of yourself...

roser13, ASN, RN · Mar 8, 2010

Of course it's normal, especially in a new job and most especially as a new RN in a new job. Letting go is a learned art. I found it to be similar to when I had my first child - I would go to bed @ night, worrying that I did something or didn't do something that would ruin my child's health and well-being. I had to learn to lighten up on myself.

I find @ work that a little bit of worry is a good thing. Like anxiety, a little bit keeps you on your toes. A little bit of worry/anxiety causes you to re-check your dosage calculations or give the patient in 4B another close look because your nursing sense is telling you that something's brewing. Too much anxiety/worry will take you down in the end. You just have to figure out your own method for decompressing and letting go after work. Some people go straight from work to exercise. Others blast the stereo in the car on the way home and sing at the top of their lungs. Others figure out ways to mentally distance themselves from the day.

Never fear - you'll figure out how to leave your day behind you. In the meantime, appreciate that you are a conscientious nurse, doing your best to learn.

AmericanChai · Mar 8, 2010

That IS a good quote! I'm just a student so I can't comment on how it works in the real world. However, I am the mom of a kid who was very sick for the first 3 years of her life. You do just have to let it go, knowing that some things are beyond your control, and you did the best job you could have.

When I read your post my first thought was documentation. We are learning how being organized in documentation means that you can get all your bases covered during your shift. It provides a means to organize your actions, based on what you need to also document. If you are able to document completely for your patients, then you probably did the best you could for them in nursing care. :)

esthomprn · Mar 8, 2010

OMG!!! i feel the same way. I just graduated last May and sometimes when I go home I think about what I should have done or what I could have done. i am SUPER paranoid when I leave. I always check my emar ATLEAST 4x to make sure I charted all my meds. I always quadruple check my flow sheet to make sure I charted everything. It gets frustrasting to the point where I want to grind my teeth. I hate it. But atleast by the next day I'm over it. I think it is normal cause we don't want to make a mistake. I think it takes time and when we are more confident in our work then it wont be so bad.

PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN · Mar 8, 2010

It gets easier.

You will suffer from compassion fatigue if you don't learn.

nygirl1986 · Mar 8, 2010

omg it's 100% normal....but it shouldn't be!! i'm in the same boat (kinda)....i have been working on a neuro floor since september but just got off my orientation about a month ago. when i first started i would constantly go home and be in bed worrying about every possible thing i did that day....did i remember to clear the iv pumps and document i&o? did i do all my charting? did i tell the next nurse enough in report?? the list can go on for days. i work three 12-hour shifts a week, and i was talking to my mom about how even though i'm only there 3 days a week, i feel like i'm always at work!! she brought up a good point. i am always at work because i'm always thinking about it or talking about it, even when i'm at home. it's really difficult to do but you have to train yourself to stop work talk and thoughts the minute you walk out the door. now if you remember something important you can easily call work and have them fix, fine. but i mean everything else, forget it. when you walk out of those doors, that's the end of the day. you have to make your job just that, your job. it's difficult because nurses are pretty much expected to be perfect and never make mistake and guess what?? it's not realistic!! we're human beings and we're going to make errors, that's life. we need to learn to accept this, say a little prayer before you go to work, do the very best you can do while you're there and that's it. sounds so cliche, but really all you can do is your best!!

brneydk · Mar 8, 2010

Its a great quote and normal! My mom reminds me every week that i can't save everyone but to do the best i can when i am caring for someone and its helped me out a lot the past year!

SoundofMusic · Mar 8, 2010

Well, I think that the job we do is huge, and complicated, and there are at least 1,000 TASKS per day that we have to carry out. I think it's normal for our brains to want to process that all a bit -- to think about what we did, and to try to reason it all out -- and to learn from it -- I think it's just a huge learning process thing you're going to do for a while until you start to internalize what you do everyday and how all those tasks fit into a big picture. I mean -- the day goes by so fast and there is so much to do that you can't really even see what's happening until your'e at home and can step back and see how it all played out.

You will then start to walk away knowing you're part of just one shift, and it can't be done on all one shift. You kept the patient stable, and alive, checked off all your orders, and that's about all you can expect some days. Believe me, some chart-hound will catch what you did do and remind you -- and next time you'll try to get it all completed. I sometimes just get so tired of what is expected of nurses -- keep 1,000 things in your head at once, yet wait on everyone while you're doing it -- that was my day yesterday. Patients would ask me to do 10 things, then as I was leaving, ask me something else and totally ruin my train of thought. It was ridiculous!

aura_of_laura · Mar 8, 2010

Definitely a learned skill - for the first year that I worked, I would work 16 hours, come home, and dream all night about work. It took learning how to separate my personal and professional life, and realizing that if I forgot something important, someone would surely call me.

Learn to let work go when you walk out of the hospital - it's a job, not you entire life :)

Tweety, BSN, RN · Mar 8, 2010

It's normal because you're new and you're also human. But it is true that to survive one has to learn the art of "letting go". It doesn't mean that you don't care.

annaRNC · Mar 8, 2010

I think your concerns show you're a good nurse. I still have them even though I feel comfortable with the large majority of my job. I'm the dosage checking queen but that's saved me a bunch of times. I'm also the one reading the actions/pharmacology behind the drug because I'm convinced one day someone might ask me plus I'm one of those sick people who wants to know. Hang in there. You'll find a balance that will enable you to let it go on your days off!

leslie :-D · Mar 8, 2010

It gets easier.
You will suffer from compassion fatigue if you don't learn.

It's normal because you're new and you're also human. But it is true that to survive one has to learn the art of "letting go". It doesn't mean that you don't care.

agree with both...

which basically amounts to, is we nurses need to accept our limitations.

we are not bionic super heroes.

once we realize that we can only do so much, it automatically follows to "let it go".

this usually takes us approaching/reaching the end of our ropes, before such revelations are made.:)

leslie