The "bully" nurse

RN NurseTweety · Oct 4, 2010

This is not limited to older nurses. Many many nurses have gotten away with bullying. It seems to be part of their makeup. I am glad the public is becoming aware of these issues. The bully power goes on way to much. This attitude defeats everything we are suppose to be, i.e. caring individuals. Report is just a scramble. Sarcastic, angry, bitter women. They would never make it in a fortune 500 company. I do remember the days when I did work with good people, caring people. This last bunch of complainers are not even worth my time. I'll never go back to that. I am burned out. I just pitty the patients. If I were sick, believe me, I would crawl on all fours to another hospital. I never want any of them to ever ever treat me.

Cul2 · Oct 5, 2010

Do any of you find that those nurses who have a bullying

personality and bully other and/or younger nurses, tend

to carry that behavior to the patient level?

oryxandcake · Oct 5, 2010

Do any of you find that those nurses who have a bullying
personality and bully other and/or younger nurses, tend
to carry that behavior to the patient level?

When I worked in residential care I found that the powerlessness that the staff felt translated into bullying behavior to everyone - including patients. It was the bullying and constant negativity that drove me out of the facility. In this situation, most of the senior staff was overbearing and poor at communicating and team work. Their idea of team work was other people picking up the slack.

Anyhow, I now work in a team environment where I really have not run into any bullying. And if there are poor attitudes they are dealt with appropriately. That being said, our health authority and upper management don't have a probably shifting their weight around time to time...

RN NurseTweety · Oct 5, 2010

One bully got so mad she pinned down a patient. She completely lost it but was never reprimanded. When I came on the night shift the patients were out of control. They were calling, screaming and families were upset. It was total tension and a nightmare. The very kind night charge nurse made her rounds and was able to clams these frightened souls. She was a miracle worker. Our DON didn't appreciate her at all. When you have 3 or 4 dayshift bullies out of control the patients sense it. We had one tech who didn't mind voicing her indignation as to how things were run. She didn't want to take vital signs. All the patients complained about the loud talking, slamming bed pans, yelling and music. No one did a thing about it. Everyone was too afraid they would be next on the chopping block. Wild but true. Happy as a lark to be out of that termoil! Bully nurses bully patients and everbody else. And it shows!

sistasoul · Oct 5, 2010

How about the bully in the making? I work with a nurse who "knows everything" and wants to make sure we all know that she knows everything. Whenever anyone has a question she answers it even though it is not directed at her. She is very outspoken and opionionated (spelling?). She has been a nurse for a year now but just got permanently hired on to my unit in the past 2 months. I can easily see this woman morphing into a bully as she gets more comfortable on the unit. I have already seen instances of her being bossy and controlling.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Oct 5, 2010

how about the bully in the making? i work with a nurse who "knows everything" and wants to make sure we all know that she knows everything. whenever anyone has a question she answers it even though it is not directed at her. she is very outspoken and opionionated (spelling?). she has been a nurse for a year now but just got permanently hired on to my unit in the past 2 months. i can easily see this woman morphing into a bully as she gets more comfortable on the unit. i have already seen instances of her being bossy and controlling.

that's interesting. i've seen a couple of brand new nurses exhibit "know-it-all-syndrome" about the time they get off orientation. i'm not sure that it's bullying, but they've rolled their eyes at me a time too many. (usually after that they don't bother me anymore.)

i still believe that how much one actually knows is inversely proportional to how much one thinks one knows!

RN NurseTweety · Oct 7, 2010

We had a very compassionate older nurse in charge. She could really diffuse hostile situations, i.e. angry family members and patients. Was a very prim and proper lady. A pillar of the community. She was bullied by the day shift nurses. She still kept her calm cool manner and respectfully gave report to the rolling eyes of the day. She eventually left and a spirit of goodness left with her. The replacement! An inexperienced new nurse whose uniform cuffs swept up the floor!

wondern, ASN · Nov 3, 2010

Workplace bullying can be anything such as:
Shouting at someone whether in private, in front of colleagues
Belittling and making someone feel unimportant
Being treated with disrespect
Making someone feel bad and ashamed
Patronizing behavior e.g. treating an adult as if they are a child and also treating those with a disability/condition/etc as if they are a child and/or they have low intelligence. for example using baby talk, silly noises, talking in an condescending way, and withholding adult issues from them such as only telling them answers that are suitable for a baby/child, sugar coating, lying, talking to someone else rather than the person themselves which makes the person feel invisible.
What to do if you are being bullied at work?
Keep a diary of all events - who was doing it, the method of bullying, times, dates, whereabouts, witnesses, provide and gather as much information as you can.
Have a word with your line manager and/or your supervisor
Remember you may not be the only one going through this
If your line manager and/or your supervisor is the bully, go higher, go to their supervisor and/or line manager.
Workplace bullying is not just face to face, it can also happen by email, instant messenger, written notes, written letters, typed letters, text messages, mobile phones, telephone and also designing nasty websites.
For nasty comments said to you - say nothing and walk away, or just use one-word replies e.g. yes or hmm to show that you are not interested in the bully's/bullies nonsense.
Carry on being yourself and carry on feeling good about yourself - Don't believe the rubbish they say and don't let them stop you being you.
If things are really bad don't be afraid to go to your doctor and take time off sick or have some annual leave.
Don't show that you are angry or upset. Don't give bullies the satisfaction, if you get angry/upset this will only up their ante.
Do not retaliate - It can throw things out of hand and you could end up being blamed instead of the bully.
Remember you are not telling tales when you report bullying - You and everyone else has the right to be safe, happy, treated fairly and free from any kind of bullying. Keep on speaking up till someone listens to you and takes you seriously.
Remember it is never your fault and bullying of any kind is wrong and there is no excuse what-so-ever!
Remember bullies will minimize the matter or deny it
Harrassment is not determined by how is was delivered but how it was perceived!

You are so right on, thegreenmile! Thanks for posting this. Watch out when you try to go up the chain though. I got fired for going out of the chain when I thought I was going up the chain? :confused: It was a real :monkeydance:!!!!

wondern, ASN · Nov 3, 2010

Sorry to double dip but I want to share this linky I just found with an interesting article related to this, as it can also be related to trying to get help from management for bullying in the workplace. In many cases, as in mine, they are the enablers of this behavior.

http://www.nursingtimes.net/opinion/the-image-of-nursing-the-unskilled-nurse/5020797.article

angelique777 · Nov 9, 2010

Bullying: the act of intimidating a weaker person to make them do something

Example: You arrive at work and in order to prepare you get one of the many portable computers, you clean it, charge it by plugging it in the wall, you put your name on it to signal to other nurses you are using it. You get your cups and supplies place it on the computer all in preparation for your work. You turn around and another nurse walks away with the computer. You see her and you indicate you are using it (please note its obvious your using it since it has your name your supplies and thank to your diligence its now fully charged ready to go), however, this other nurse says in a loud and intimidating voice the computer belongs to the hospital and proceeds to walk off with the computer with an attitude as if she dares you to say anything further, however when you do continue to protest the bully nurse continues to walk away from you telling you again with attitude that you can have it when she done.

Example: Your at the pixis machine getting you medications and the bully nurse stands behind you, she says hurry up in a loud voice, your so slow she says loudly, she gets in close to you and tell you to move because her patient cant wait a century till you finish. The harassment continues and she is sure she does it every day till some nurses either try to get there meds early or wait till she goes first in order to avoid the verbal abuse.

Example: You ask the Patient care technician to watch the monitors on your side of the unit because you have a patient red alarming and the monitor she is watching only has yellow alarms but there is staff present on that side who can watch those alarms...the PCT states she is afraid to leave because the bully nurse will yell at her she already knows the bully does not want to get up to silence the alarms and will start yelling loudly at her and falsely accuse her not doing her work.......so PCT so blind from intimidation cant even see that logically the red alarm on heart monitors more serious than yellow alarms and her choices should be made based on patient safety vs. how loud the bully nurse roars

Example: Charge nurse wants to float you instead of the bully nurse because she knows your considerate kind hard working nurse but its clearly the bully turn...... plus you have higher seniority than the bully but still charge insists you should go but you know the real reason is she does not want to experience the yelling and loud complaints and posturing made by the bully nurse

Example: Admissions coming to the unit .........the quiet nurses get the admissions first or the worst sickest patients because charge nurse will not want to deal with bully nurses complaints......charge nurse will leave bully nurse for last or give easier assignments because she has to spend so much time battling bully nurses when they don’t get what they want. So charges nurses not wanting to deal with bullies arguments and complaints the charge decide to leave sleeping dogs lie at the expense of the quiet, non-bully nurses,

Example: A PCT or Attendant will not help you first but will always help the bully nurse first because she is afraid of her mouth and posturing.....so nice nurses have to work harder and will get assistance less often

Example: Bully nurses will make a scene if on report there is anything left undone because they themselves don’t want to do it and will try to make you look bad even when the issue not anything major..... the complaint has simple solution or even if its not rational complaint......the bully nurse just wants to posture cause they don't want to have to do it.

Example: You called the tube room to send you a tube so you can use it but the bully nurse grabs it and uses it for herself ...you explain you just called the tube room and that the tube they sent was for you but it does not matter the bully says call again I going to use this one.

These are just a few examples of behaviors bully nurses have exhibited on a unit. We all know its wrong but it still goes on. I Believe there are lots lots more examples but its just to mentally exhausting to write down all the ill behavior exhibited by bullies throughout the years as a nurse.

Please note there is a big difference between a bully nurse and a nurse who has lots of experience teaching younger staff how to avoid errors and how to avoid your patient suffering an injury or fatality. Sometimes senior nurses can teach in a firm and serious manner, however, I don't list these nurses on my list of bullies that is quiet different circumstance. I respect any scolding a more senior nurse may give to a younger nurse because if what that senior nurse is teaching is correct that may help the younger nurse save a life or assist avoid damaging a patient health. So these nurses are not what I call bullies. Even if how they say things appear arrogant....what does tone matter in these circumstance if the content of what that senior nurse is saying is excellent and will help the younger nurse be better at what she does. That is my take on events.

wondern, ASN · Nov 9, 2010

Sounds like you could work where I used to work for close to 20 years! :heartbeat

Tell it like it is, sister :nurse: !

Last night on Family Guy, the dad, Peter, was reliving and acting out his bullying trauma as a kid. I found it ironic and so right on target because his bully was doing one of the same things my workplace bully did~run around pulling people's pants down in public. How very hilarious! :cool: :hhmth:

Sorry, Angelique777, that you're forced to tolerate this behavior in your supposed professional workplace on a daily basis. It gets really old after a while, and were just so easily replaced, it seems, if we do speak up against the pet head hauncho bully. :hrnsmlys:

If management won't do anything I think a union would try to help. :rolleyes: I'm in the south in a will to work state, I don't know. Maybe, at least get some workplace bully protection laws in place.:redbeathe Can you transfer elsewhere in the medical center?

angelique777 · Nov 10, 2010

Thanks WonderRN

In response to my previous post.

However, I dont allow myself to be bullied and always let the bullyies know that there behaving like bullies so they don't try it again with me cause I speak the truth directly to the bully.

I like working on my unit and in relatively short time understand the people on my unit and adapt appropriately to there personalities

I think bullying is a specific behavior. Some people particular younger nurses think that senior nurses are bullies. A senior nurse teaching a younger nurse how to avoid a medication error, or why missing an assessment is important is not bullying and too many younger nurses make this mistake. I haven't always like the tone of senior nurses or seriousness but have always instead respected the content of what they told me because it has greatly helped me help my patients and I don't feel these nurses fall into category of bullies. A senior nurse will teach sometimes firmly but often will help a nurse save a life. I am one of those younger nurses who appreciate the experience a senior nurse shares and wanted to post the difference between a bully and a senior who tries to teach a younger nurse how to save a life or least keep patient from harm.

In generally its mentally exhausting dealing with a bully:eek: :devil: but I make the effort since it really annoys me and won't allow myself to be subjected to the behavior.

However it not like when we where in school because then it was easier to deal with bullyies .........so in school someone who always try to skip ahead on line or try to take your books etc...........kicking there butts after school solved the problem:yeah: ....however, at work it takes some level confrontation with out reaching full out fight which is quite a challenge but I managed to get by and hold my own.......I don't get involved with gossip I tell the person directly about any rotten behavior. Again this is my jest of work place bully ....most definitely escalating to senior staff is important at times as well......However, A lot of time such behavior exsist because senior staff does not confront it.