The "Best" Nurse Pass Notes

Specialties School

Published

Seeing the "my arm touched the wall" thread made me laugh and think about the crazy notes I've received from teachers regarding students.

Quick disclaimer: I enjoy everyone I work with and this is not to bash teachers. They are definitely on the front lines and I respect that. I just am sometimes amazed at the magical powers they think I have.

My favorites so far:

"She has rosy cheeks"

"Unsure if it's blood or marker on his hand"

"It's cold outside" (student was in shorts...and completely comfortable in them)

Specializes in Psych, Peds, Education, Infection Control.

Once, I (politely) asked a repeat offender teacher if she'd send her own children to a health clinic for some of the stuff her students came with passes for - a question that often served me well in the past, because it got them to consider what's urgent vs not even an issue. She looked at me and in all seriousness said, "Yes!" ...I had to hand her that round. She must have had better health insurance than I did.

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Specializes in School nurse.

Just today..."student sneezed." Clearly she had the plague. Come on spring break!

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Specializes in School nursing.
Once, I (politely) asked a repeat offender teacher if she'd send her own children to a health clinic for some of the stuff her students came with passes for - a question that often served me well in the past, because it got them to consider what's urgent vs not even an issue. She looked at me and in all seriousness said, "Yes!" ...I had to hand her that round. She must have had better health insurance than I did.

Her child's pediatrician must LOVE her...

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Specializes in med-surg, IMC, school nursing, NICU.
I've had some interesting ones but my favorite was "Pimple on chin." Not infected or red or painful - just a regular pimple that tweens will get.

I have a pimple right now. Should I get a sub and rush to the nearest ER?

IS MY LIFE IN DANGER?!?!

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Specializes in med-surg, IMC, school nursing, NICU.
Just today..."student sneezed." Clearly she had the plague. Come on spring break!

A teacher sent me a 4th grader 15 minutes prior to dismissal yesterday for "sneezing and coughing."

I almost wrote back "She's been here all day. You've already been exposed. Get your affairs in order."

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Community Health, School Health.

I have teachers who send me kids for ridiculous things because they say the kid will not listen to the teacher of they tell them they are fine, and they need ME to tell the kid they aren't (insert reason here)... But I try to tell them that they are letting the kid abuse the system if they know they can come see me for every little thing.

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I have a pimple right now. Should I get a sub and rush to the nearest ER?

IS MY LIFE IN DANGER?!?!

Maybe.

How big is the zit?

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Specializes in med-surg, IMC, school nursing, NICU.
Maybe.

How big is the zit?

It's a doozy.

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Specializes in med-surg, IMC, school nursing, NICU.
Maybe.

How big is the zit?

I've truly never looked better.

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"Pants are dirty."

Student had dropped a bite of her lunch, being messy.

Sigh. We had a chat about how I am there to take care of her if she gets sick, not if she makes a mess. Explained that I am not a washing machine, and she should ask mom and/or grandma after school how to soak a stain. It looked like spaghetti sauce.

Yes, the nurse has access to clothing changes for accidents, but not for messy eaters. :yawn:

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Specializes in school/military/OR/home health.
"Pants are dirty."

Student had dropped a bite of her lunch, being messy.

Sigh. We had a chat about how I am there to take care of her if she gets sick, not if she makes a mess. Explained that I am not a washing machine, and she should ask mom and/or grandma after school how to soak a stain. It looked like spaghetti sauce.

Yes, the nurse has access to clothing changes for accidents, but not for messy eaters. :yawn:

Yes, this happened yesterday! Kid came in with a stain on his sweatshirt "I need you to get this stain out!" It wasn't wet, it wasn't blood or other bodily fluids, just some lunch on his shirt...I mean, who sees a stain on a sweatshirt and thinks "the nurse can fix that, let's make this her business"?
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Is the pimple like Dr Pimple Popper big? Because that stuff is amazing

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