I came home really upset the other day by how absolutely insensitive patients and their families can be. I'm sure this is probably my fault, because I am very friendly and nice ( most of the time) so people feel comofrtable talking to me about pretty much anything. I used to work on the floor, where the turn around of patients was not that great comparing to the ER. Downstairs is a different story.
I get multiple questions on daily basis regarding were I'm from, how long I've been here, etc. because of my accent - that i can not hide or change, but then it seems not enough and they ask me about my parents. This is a sore subject, because I have lived on my own since I was 15, my father was not there and my mother neglected me and sometimes abused me since I was 9. I haven't seen her in 14 years since I left Moscow and the last thing I want to discuss are my feelings for her and what her life is like a psych unit. Even though I say that I don't want to talk about it, this is not enough. People continue to dig.
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Another problem is when I don't understand what the person is trying to tell me, because they are actually not very smart or funny, they blame it on lack of my English skills, even though I finished college in the US with honors.
They ask me if I am a mail-order bride,( after they question me about my wedding ring), which is also insulting. And no, I am not. I met my husband at work.
Then there comes the religion problem. People feel absolutely compelled to ask me if I am Jewish or a Russian Orthodox and i am neither, because even though I tried "welcoming Jesus into my life " during the nightmare Of my childhood it just never happened. So, then the people feel it is OK to say to me how I am going to go to hell, that i need to pray and go to church. These attacks on my right to believe or not, come exclusively from the white poplulation. Never have I had an ethnic individual impose thier views on me with such vengence.
And all of this is happening while I am trying to whipe this person's butt or be sympathetic to their abdominal pain or chest pain and it is VERY hard to do after someone just tore me apart. I tried lying, but people do not stop with questions even then.
I try to get out of the patients room quickly now or to reverse the questions at them, so they stop bothering me, but it only works some of the time.
Specializes in ER,Neurology, Endocrinology, Pulmonology.
hi, guys. Thank you for your help and advice. :) Special thanks to people who realized that one post on a bad day doesn't define me as a person or as a professional.
I was glad to read suggestions about how to deal with patients' personal questions, but I don't particularly want to read the ethnic/religious/yada yada yada debate. Y'all are gonna end up getting this thread closed. :deadhorse
Specializes in OR, OB, EM, Flight, ICU, PACU.......
Thanks for the irrelavent racial generalization:nono:
Obviously, you've never been in the south and tried to deflect one of those elderly Black ladies from the subject of your parents, birthplace, religion, national origin........... Gotta love them! I do!:redbeathe
I'm sorry that these things happened to you. I work in a Psych Unit so when patients ask me personal questions, I immediately say: "Sorry, I don't answer personal questions, I only answer questions that are health-related and only regarding you, my patient." Then some would try and convince me: "C'mon your marital status is not that personal, it's something people just talk about". I just repeat my line and usually they feel embarrassed.
Anagray, BSN
335 Posts
hi, guys. Thank you for your help and advice. :) Special thanks to people who realized that one post on a bad day doesn't define me as a person or as a professional.
Best wishes to all.
Nat