The mean nurse coworker

[Mightymouse1212]

Hi fellow nurses! New here but excited to join. Here goes- I changed jobs last year & work with a GREAT group of cnas & nurses with the exception of one awful beast!

This nurse is a true Jekyll & Hyde. I didn't realize it at first but after an incident where she suddenly accused me of saying something I absolutely did NOT say or do our work relationship changed. I saw her as the monster she really is. I did immediately correct her accusation . Turned out- a CNA had complained about how nasty her attitude was & her & a different nurse had words while I was not even around mind you. Yet she accused me of it. Anyway - she treats all the cnas bad- she's hateful rude manipulative and just nasty. She does me the same and other nurses also.

Shes always complaining to the boss and thinks she's sneaky by leaving notes about everyone. She loves drama & confrontation.

I refuse drama & I told her so. I won't participate in it. I left an awful work place and I know how damaging it is.

She will go weeks without speaking a word to any of us & then when she decides to speak she's digging for info which we don't give. She even goes up & down my halls looking for stuff and thinks we don't notice. She's even woke my patients up several times going in their rooms!

She makes sarcastic comments too. Has no personality . We all avoid her. But it's so old. She makes 24 hours miserable. I would never ask her for help ever! I do everything for my 40 all alone- I even do things she's supposed to do because she waits too long to get things done. And I don't trust her. I don't like how she thinks we are supposed to be in her sights at all times. I'm grown and I do my job. She's had multiple staff and patient complaints while I've never had any. Ideas? I think she's got a mental problem.

[OCNRN63, RN]

Paragraphs, please!

[ICURN3020]

Ideas for.........? Not really sure what you're asking for. Do you mean on how to deal with her?

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

Is this person your charge nurse or your supervisor? If she is neither of those things, then you owe her nothing. You can not believe everything that everyone says, and it fuels a huge fire, so avoid confrontation all together with this person. You need to establish yourself now of being a nurse that doesn't get into the gossip mill. If someone attempts to get you into a conversation about this nurse I would say "I am making it a habit of not badmouthing people." Then, you could follow up with "gee, how was your vacation" or other small talk, to get the focus away from any "friendly" interaction that people have with you is not digging dirt or gossiping.

If your patients are being woken up several times a night, then you need to bring that to your charge nurse's attention. To simply say "room 546 complained that they were woken several times by someone other than me. I immediately felt this was something that you would be able to speak with them about, so if you could, I would appreciate it."

Do NOT say that it was the other nurse that did it, as you really don't KNOW for a FACT that it was.

Sometimes, believe it or not, a nurse is made a target. And when they are made a target they get defensive. I don't mean to say that ya'll need to be besties, however, do NOT engage, and decline to participate. Often, the popular lunch group like to take the new nurse under their wing, and before you know it, you are being accused of bullying the other nurse.

Disengage....I repeat, Disengage.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

As jadelpn said, disengage.

Ignore her, she will hang herself.

[Mightymouse1212]

No she's not charge or a supervisor. I stay away from her as much as possible .

I make a point to get along with everyone. Sometimes when she does speak to me she trash talks others & I change the topic.

I just don't understand her behaviors. It's like she thinks we are all out to get her when nobody's done anything to her.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

Mightymouse1212 said:

No she's not charge or a supervisor. I stay away from her as much as possible .

I make a point to get along with everyone. Sometimes when she does speak to me she trash talks others & I change the topic.

I just don't understand her behaviors. It's like she thinks we are all out to get her when nobody's done anything to her.

But you all have!

There seems to be a constant flow of chatter regarding this nurse's actions, inactions, attitude--"I saw her for the monster she really is"--"she is hateful, rude, manipulative, and nasty".....and on and on.

You really are not making it a point to "get along with everybody" however, trash talking is fine as long as it is ABOUT her as opposed to BY her?!?!?! And if she is going weeks without speaking to anyone, would you not think she is trying to just not get involved?

Her behaviors may or may not be defensive against a constant "you are such a horrible person". Who and what she is as a person is not even your concern. How she is as a nurse is, as it relates to you and your practice.

Otherwise, I can not stress to you enough you will not get a tremendous amount of respect if you are getting involved in this nonsense. You say you are not, however, by your post you really are. And this is not high school. Stay out of the gossip!! It can and will only come back to you at one time or another.

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

Mightymouse1212 said:

No she's not charge or a supervisor. I stay away from her as much as possible .

I make a point to get along with everyone. Sometimes when she does speak to me she trash talks others & I change the topic.

I just don't understand her behaviors. It's like she thinks we are all out to get her when nobody's done anything to her.

It is not your job to under stand. Be pleasant an aloof. She is a co-worker not a friend. There will always be that one person you don't like and avoid.

[Mas Catoer]

It is good to back off for a while. Take enough time to make more insight, then out to refresh our judgement. Who knows we gain better understanding of the drama. Based on my time in the past, if we good enough with the job, good means having most things done well, have appropriate positioning in the team, always making firm decisions. Then most co-workers will think twice to make a mess with us. If they do then they will lose our good support in a team.

I had one in the past, a co-worker who did all possible things to make me out of her way. But I treat her normally and formally as co-worker. Later she quitted the job as any worst situation related to the work mostly turn out to be her fault.

I believe you want to do the same thing, because spending 8 hours a day in that scene isn't productive and tiring.

[toomuchbaloney]

The OP just described high school. The OP sounds like she is part of a HS clique that has decided that this co-worker is "mean" and apparently speaks in derogatory language about her. The woman maybe isn't very nice, but I wouldn't want to work with the rest of the group either from the description.

[Mightymouse1212]

High school clique? Negative . These are observations myself and others in the place have seen. When new people ask what's wrong with " that one" nobody says anything . I've always said I didn't know.

Im not in hs and by no means do I act like it anywhere I go.

I go to work - do my job - then I leave but my whole point is---it shouldn't be miserable to have to be around some people .

People are people regardless. It's just super hard to understand some.

and yes- I'm sorry but I am not one of those nurses who spends my whole shift digging for everybody's mistakes & flaws as I have seen this one do a million times- write it all down and then put under the bosses doors . Just one of many spiteful things I've seen her do that I simply don't agree with or participate in.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

Mightymouse1212 said:

High school clique? Negative . These are observations myself and others in the place have seen. When new people ask what's wrong with " that one" nobody says anything . I've always said I didn't know.

Im not in hs and by no means do I act like it anywhere I go.

I go to work - do my job - then I leave but my whole point is---it shouldn't be miserable to have to be around some people .

People are people regardless. It's just super hard to understand some.

and yes- I'm sorry but I am not one of those nurses who spends my whole shift digging for everybody's mistakes & flaws as I have seen this one do a million times- write it all down and then put under the bosses doors . Just one of many spiteful things I've seen her do that I simply don't agree with or participate in.

Ok, my final comment on this. You really have not a CLUE what she is "putting under the bosses door" For all you know it is a complaint about how you all seem to really pick on this one nurse.

And again, from your posts you ARE participating. Whole heartedly. If anyone has the gall to say "what is wrong with that one" (which at best is highly disrespectful and rude) you need to look and say "I really don't know what you are referring to" and leave it at that.

As far as "pointing out flaws" for all you know that is what she has been asked to do. Happens all the time. The manager asks the more senior nurses to watch and report. You have no idea.

I think that if this person is making you that miserable with outright bullying, then you need to do something about it. However, this does not include lamenting with your co-workers. From what you describe she seemingly is vigilant on patient care (and remember as the licesned nurse she IS responsible for the CNA's delegated duties), she may or may not be "reporting" to a supervisor, and a lot of other subjective stuff that makes for good gossip, but not so much on patient care.

Again, stop involving yourself in all of this, and realize the extent to which you currently are.