The IDEAL Cover Letter and Resume

[Nurse J1112]

Dear HR,

My name is Jacqueline, I'm a new graduate RN with some experience in a hospital. I am writing to inquire about relocation opportunities. I know there are many applicants with far superior qualifications, but let's be honest....Everyone starts somewhere. This isn't the typical or most prudently appropriate cover letter to a potential employer, but I am vehemently seeking employment outside this overly saturated piece of peninsula called south Florida. There is currently over 1,000 ungodly priced 'prestigious' colleges furiously pumping out 6,287,683,278 new graduate nurses PER HOUR. Unbeknownst to me, I am baffled as to how can there be no available jobs in my area... So I decided there might be a hemorrhoid occluded pinhole glimmer of shining hope if I apply to another state far far away. I am aware every company takes a risk hiring new employees, but rest assured I'm a very direct, very honest and awe striking zealous person. If you have any available positions for such impressive qualities please feel free to email me back. Thank you.

JACQUELINE XXXXXXXXX

xxxx xxxxxxxx xxxx xxxx xxx xxxxxx xxxx,FL * [email protected] * (305) xxx-xxxx

Objective

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To get an RN job that's pays decently and utilize valuable knowledge and hone nursing skills while utilizing concise judgment, evidence based practice and team skills to provide safe and high quality care to effectively treat patients.

Education

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Xxxxxxx College, Xxxxx FL 08/2013

- Associate Degree of Science in Nursing aka Hand and Foot Customer Service

- Currently in progress towards acquiring BSN Anticipated graduation date 1/2016 or later

Skills

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- Spanish speaking on good days, interpret for case managers, can try to communicate with family members, light teaching and education on simple stuff

- Computer Programs: Cerner, familiar with Epic, Micros, Microsoft Word, PowerPoint, Paint, Calculator, Spades

- IV insertion/care, central/PICC line dressings/care, wound care

- Managed various critical drips; Heparin, TPN, lipids, potassium, blood and blood products, Koolaid, Coffee, Heroin

- Interpret cardiac arrhythmias (2 lead ECG) only asystole, V-Tach and V-Fib

Work Experience

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Staff Nurse, Xxxxxxx Xxxxx Xxxxxx XXX X Xxxxxx XX Xxxxxxx Xxxxx, FL 00000

- Executed hand and foot service to clients in a compassionate caring manner highlighting institution's invisible vision and mission to the customers

- Provided high quality care for up to 1,000 acutely ill patients with wide variety of diagnoses including pre/post-operative, gross medical conditions, isolation patients, hypochondriac syndrome and self-entitled patients

- Prioritized and multitasked to meet multiple unimportant patient needs such as juice, linen, pillow fluffing and plumbing services while using and improving effective time management skills

- Delegated and supervised PCA's, collaborated with physicians based on patient assessments, unexpected/critical lab values, outcomes, outrageous medication changes, lack of returning calls and hundreds of duplicate orders or lack of

- Utilized sometimes sterile technique and infection control measures to care for simple and complicated wounds including post surgical, maggot infested diabetic ulcers, pressure ulcers, overflowing colostomies, big cuts and rug burn

- Worked with medical tools such as industrial feeding pumps, noisy IV pumps, penetrable PCA pumps, cardiac monitors, clumsy chest tubes/drainage system, wound care supplies (Mepelex, Adaptic, Scotch tape, Duck tape, Stapler, bungee cords, chicken wire etc.), convenience foley catheters

- Performed frequent nursing assessments (q4 - 8h), recognize and monitor change in patient status or unsatisfied attitude, adjust care, initiated useless care plans, interventions and evaluate outcomes or hope for the best

- Performed patient and family teaching before and after operations about operative procedures, disgusting wound care, drains, obsolete treatment plan, over-priced medical devices, diet, even more expensive medications, "what you should be doing" kind of activity, discharge instructions that will not be followed

- Successfully resolved conflicts objectively among clients and demonstrated effective communication with management via loud language, medical threats, force, chemical and mechanical restraints

Hospitality Associate, Xxxxxxxxxs Cafe xxxxx xx 2nd St., xxxxxxx xxxxx, FL 00000

- Learned to anticipate client's needs and requests of service to get a higher tip

- Work with staff as a team player and accomplish all tasks before happy hour was over

Certifications

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Registered Nurse Licence #xxxxxxx Exp. 4/2015

Basic Life Support/CPR Exp. 3/2015

ACLS EXP. 1/2016

NIH Stroke Scale- Group Test A EXP. 1/2015

References

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References available upon request, if you ask nicely

[Nurse J1112]

I've sent this to a hospital in another state and hope to get a response....who knows it might work.

[TriciaJ, RN]

If this doesn't get you the job, nothing will and you'll have to get a nice job selling shoes someplace.

[enuf_already]

I was concerned that your computer skills were a little shaky until I saw you are proficient in spades. That should seal the deal for any employer.

[Nurse J1112]

Spades usually seals the deal no? hahaha!

[Budra3]

what a good laugh.. Your awsome! I want an update if they call you.

[Student Mom to Three]

You are the person I want to work with!! Good luck!

[Nurse J1112]

Hahaha Thanks!!! :)

There will most certainly be an update, if say they respond. I hope they do.

I am glad you enjoyed it, share it with co workers! Hell even your manager! I am looking for a job, maybe they would consider me (^_^)

[Nurse J1112]

I would love to work with you too! Thanks! Share it with co workers! Pass the laughs around! :)

[Murse1919]

I'm more of a hearts man myself

[CordaeP]

HaHaa!! I love this. Someone should hire you. You are so straight forward. No sugar over there lol!!

[covergirl5]

My stress incontinence almost got the best of me when I read your multitasking skills, lol!!