The Great Double Standard?

Nurses Men

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I would like opinions from the rest of you guys. It seems everywhere I turn that there is this double standard that men nurses should not be providing care for any of women's intimate needs. I am still in nursing school, but it seems women nurses have no problem caring for either a male or female patient (students included), but men do not have that ability? I just don't quite understand this, when it is not even the patients perogative involved, just these female nurses who think they know "whats best". I would like this taboo to dissappear. Does anyone else see this? Any ideas who to remedy this issue and be able to call a nurse a nurse, and not a male or female nurse, each playing by different rules. I am pretty frustrated.

Lady chiming in here. I just wanted to say that I have never, ever had any issues with any male in any facet of the medical field (EMT/Paramedic, doctor, nurse, CNA etc) taking care of me or either of my daughters. I was always asked if I minded a male nurse taking care of me and my response was always the same, as long as he has a license that says he's a nurse..bring 'um on. LOL.

Oh, wait, I lie! I did have a HUGE issue with a male nurse..heehee. I had just had one of my multiple GYN surgeries. I was just brough into my room and was asked if I had a problem with a male being my nurse, which I didn't. Well, in walks one hot guy about my age. He was explaining what he was going to do (check saturation of blood on the pad) which I was fine with UNTIL as he was just about to do it I realized that the "hot guy" happened to be an ex-boyfriend from high school..:uhoh3:. I didn't do or say anything but I was very uncomfortable to say the least. Once it was done, I realized, to him I was just a patient and he was doing his job, after that we would talk and reminise about "old times" while he was carrying out his needed tasks. It was all good in the end.

As a matter of fact, for every single one of my surgeries (14 in all) I always had at least one male nurse, whether it was the OR nurse, PACU or floor. And every single one of them were tops in my book.

Kudos to all of you men!

The double standard is a problem. My experience is that more mature lady nurses impose their own values on you and the patient and so exclude you from the care. I understand the need to respect patient request, but try this one on. Patient requested a gay male white nurse. Hospital admin told him to find another hospital.

"I think we can agree that the patient's desires come out on top regardless of how reasonable we (the nursing staff) might view that request. Even if it bucks the current zeit geist for gender relations, we are bound by "patient bill of rights" to respond accordingly to their request. Anyone disagree?"

I've got to disagree. What if the patient was uncomfortable with a nurse who wasn't white? Would we all be falling over ourselves talking about how the patient's desires come first? Of course not - in fact, about a year ago there was that exact issue in a maternity ward around here. The hospital agreed to provide white nurses, and there was a huge blowout about it (as well there should be.)

So basically, when you boil it down, if you think it's ok for a patient to refuse a male nurse, then you think gender discrimination is ok. Only in this very narrow circumstance, but discrimination is discrimination.

Once you say that it's ok to accommodate gender discrimination (in whatever narrow conditions you put on it), then you forfeit the right to argue that gender discrimination is wrong. Instead you can only argue about when it is appropriate.

Try these on for size:

"I don't want a black nurse." not ok - racism

"I don't want a gay nurse." not ok - discrimination

"I don't want a male nurse." oh, that's understandable, and we'll try to accommodate your preferences

Why is it ok to discriminate based on gender, while it is horrible to discriminate based on other criteria?

Specializes in Cardiac.

You make a very powerful point.

I had a female pt refuse my care....she was in the hospital for high BP..she said if i was her nurse her BP would go skyhigh and she would not be discharged in the morning..lol .. hey at least she gave some medical rationale

I would like opinions from the rest of you guys. It seems everywhere I turn that there is this double standard that men nurses should not be providing care for any of women's intimate needs. I am still in nursing school, but it seems women nurses have no problem caring for either a male or female patient (students included), but men do not have that ability? I just don't quite understand this, when it is not even the patients perogative involved, just these female nurses who think they know "whats best". I would like this taboo to dissappear. Does anyone else see this? Any ideas who to remedy this issue and be able to call a nurse a nurse, and not a male or female nurse, each playing by different rules. I am pretty frustrated.

and one more thing... male pt doesnt want a male (gay or not gay) nurse to do catheterization on them...

hahahhaah!!! ohh men!!!! hahahhaha

and one more thing... male pt doesnt want a male (gay or not gay) nurse to do catheterization on them...

hahahhaah!!! ohh men!!!! hahahhaha

im a gay and my male pt seems uncomfortable just thinking that i will insert urinary catheter on them. maybe they are afraid that i might arouse them.... DUH?!?!?!

Specializes in Neuro, Cardiology, ICU, Med/Surg.

I haven't experienced too much of this... I'm a male nursing student working as a PCA on a med surg floor (same place I did my first clinical rotation). The staff doesn't ever have a problem with me providing whatever care is needed. After all it makes their workload lighter.

On occasion I will answer a call light for a female patient who asks for a "nurse" (translation:female) to do her bedpan. I usually tell her that I'm happy to page her nurse, but that it may take a while and if the need is urgent, I'm happy to oblige right now. Usually they choose to have me do it. As a PCA, I can't do foleys, so it's not an issue at present.

Specializes in OB, critical care, hospice, farm/industr.
I must reply now that this post has resurfaced, that I haven't experienced any bias now that I am a new RN at a different hospital. I feel that I am treated equally amongst my peers, who are right in my same age range. Not saying that more mature nurses couldnt accept me as an equal peer, just that the situations I encountered were with more experienced-long timers.

Shawn

Oh, that's great. I'm so glad you stuck with it. You sound like a terrific nurse.

Specializes in OB, critical care, hospice, farm/industr.
"I think we can agree that the patient's desires come out on top regardless of how reasonable we (the nursing staff) might view that request. Even if it bucks the current zeit geist for gender relations, we are bound by "patient bill of rights" to respond accordingly to their request. Anyone disagree?"

I've got to disagree. What if the patient was uncomfortable with a nurse who wasn't white? Would we all be falling over ourselves talking about how the patient's desires come first? Of course not - in fact, about a year ago there was that exact issue in a maternity ward around here. The hospital agreed to provide white nurses, and there was a huge blowout about it (as well there should be.)

So basically, when you boil it down, if you think it's ok for a patient to refuse a male nurse, then you think gender discrimination is ok. Only in this very narrow circumstance, but discrimination is discrimination.

Once you say that it's ok to accommodate gender discrimination (in whatever narrow conditions you put on it), then you forfeit the right to argue that gender discrimination is wrong. Instead you can only argue about when it is appropriate.

Try these on for size:

"I don't want a black nurse." not ok - racism

"I don't want a gay nurse." not ok - discrimination

"I don't want a male nurse." oh, that's understandable, and we'll try to accommodate your preferences

Why is it ok to discriminate based on gender, while it is horrible to discriminate based on other criteria?

You know, you make absolutely valid points. It is discrimination to designate the gender of your nurse; I can't argue. But, (you knew there was a but in there, didn't you?) I could no more have a male nurse for something personal than I could fly. For reasons not relevant to this discussion, I would get so anxious and embarrassed I would cry or throw up. My heart pounds, I'm scared, nauseated and have a blinger of a headache. I'm sorry, but I can't, I just can't have a male caretaker-doc, nurse or aide. I'd have not know about it to make it through a personal procedure, as in unconcious. It took years to not have a panic attack with my very kind, nice male dentist and that was just cleaning my teeth! ( I also can't be sedated, for the same reasons. I'm terrified something will happen to me.)

So I'm afraid, even though it's probably discrimination, some women will always refuse male nurses. Sorry about that.

You know, you make absolutely valid points. It is discrimination to designate the gender of your nurse; I can't argue. But, (you knew there was a but in there, didn't you?) I could no more have a male nurse for something personal than I could fly. For reasons not relevant to this discussion, I would get so anxious and embarrassed I would cry or throw up. My heart pounds, I'm scared, nauseated and have a blinger of a headache. I'm sorry, but I can't, I just can't have a male caretaker-doc, nurse or aide. I'd have not know about it to make it through a personal procedure, as in unconcious. It took years to not have a panic attack with my very kind, nice male dentist and that was just cleaning my teeth! ( I also can't be sedated, for the same reasons. I'm terrified something will happen to me.)

So I'm afraid, even though it's probably discrimination, some women will always refuse male nurses. Sorry about that.

TDub, there's nothing to be sorry about. I know exactly where you are coming from, and I'm in the same boat, but in reverse. As a male I can't accept the thought of personal care by any female.

I don't think discrimination by a patient is even possible. After all, they are not the professional, the medical staff is. So they (the patient) are allowed to voice their preferences no matter how absurd it may seem.

It is discrimination when a male healthcare professional is not allowed to work in certain areas because of his sex, when female healthcare professionals are not similarly restricted. It is discrimination when such limitations are put in place by people who are motivated by their own personal preferences. Any competent medical professional has the good judgement to know when it's time to withdraw from a personal care situation and find someone of the same gender to trade out with. I also believe that the patient has the right to make the call as to who treats them, and no one should take that personally.

Try these on for size: "I don't want a black nurse." not ok - racism "I don't want a gay nurse." not ok - discrimination "I don't want a male nurse." oh, that's understandable, and we'll try to accommodate your preferences Why is it ok to discriminate based on gender, while it is horrible to discriminate based on other criteria?
Thankyou fins for putting that so simply and elegantly. Levin
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