I think of all my training and schooling that I have attended, of all the skills that I've acquired, I am now realizing that I use my waitering skills more than anything else....
So from now on the ER is my restaurant...
Triage nurse is now the Maitre d'
The Er nurse will now be the patient's (customers now) waiter/waitress
The Doctor/PA is the Chef
RT is the wine stewart
the CNA is the water/bread person
Housekeeping is the bussing staff
Patient comes in and is seen by the triage nurse "Welcome to ......(fill in the blank)..... ER what can I do for you tonite?
PATIENT: " I had a 900Pm reservation for three, myself, and two visitors"
TRIAGE: No problem, Ma'am, just right this way, I have your usual table (stretcher) for you. Linda will be your nurse, she'll be with you momentarily..
PATIENT: Thank you, may I have a warm blanket, pillow, bigger chairs for my visiotrs along with new magazines,,,,these we read last time we were here.
TRIAGE: As you wish Ma'am.
PATIENT: Oh and another thing, I want to be seen by Dr. Henry, I see Dr Kevin is here, I don;t like the way he prepares his cephalgia special... not enough narco spice.
TRAIGE: As you wish..
VISITOR: Oh and a phone plez, I need to notify everyone I know that we are here.
TRIAGE: Right there on the wall
VISITOR: (UPSET).. hand it to me, dial an outside line and put your code in, it doesn't give me long distance unless you put your code in duhhh!
NURSE LINDA: Hi I am Linda I will be your RN (waitress) for the evening. What can I get you tonight?
PATIENT: I'll start off with 4 mg Morphine IV, followed by 25mg Phenergan for my nausea, then for the main course I will need Dilaudid 2mg..um.. make that 4mg IV. I'm feeling extra hungry, so please give me 10mg Valium IV. Then for dessert I will take a Percocet,Take Home pack.
NURSE LINDA: No problem, have it your way.
VISITOR: Can you get me a cup of water. Make sure you get it from the bubbler and not the spicket. And ice too.
VISITOR (on phone): And I'll have a lunch bag and a juice.
NURSE LINDA: Coming right up.
PATIENT: And get Sue to put my IV she is the best......
How could I forget.... curb side pick up, just ring the bell and staff will come pick you up right at your car. Then we can provide valet service so the visitors don't have to walk.
How could I forget.... curb side pick up, just ring the bell and staff will come pick you up right at your car. Then we can provide valet service so the visitors don't have to walk.
HK
and also included in your luxury package are godiva chocolates on your stretcher pillow (provided of course that you behave yourself after responding to narcan!)
** our apollogies as we no longer offer the laundy and pressing service as there has been an increase in the need to cut clothing away. BUT! for your convenience we do have complimentary blue scrubs for you. it is rumored that pamela sue so and so, and charlie such and such in hollywood have been seen sporting these very scrubs.:kiss
Let's not forget about the free messaging service provided.
How many phone calls do YOUR pts get while they are in the EMERGENCY room?!!?
They get calls from the husband/wife, sister/brother, mother/father, long lost cousin, neighbors, co-workers, bar-mates, cell-mates...my God the list is endless!!! Why do they all have to call???!!
Sometimes I'ld like to say: "Yes, Mr P-I-A is here. His hemorrhoid is just fine thank you. Yes...as soon as we remove the stick up his a$$ he'll call you back! Have a nice day now". Or...
"We'll be GLAD to stop CPR on little Aunt Matilda long enough for you to ask her where she left her purse!"
My GOD...it's the ER!!!
They'll call you when they get home from whatever little emergency brought them in!
Oh, and by the way, I'd be happy to orient you to your own person website at our hospital's site, so you can tell all your out-of-town friends how well you are doing.
NYCRN16
392 Posts
I know I already replied to this, but this thread is hysterical! It is so true!!!!!! I have to print this out and bring it to work!
:roll :roll :roll
Maybe I should hang it in the triage booth!