The ER has become a restaurant.....

MAGIK GIRL · Jan 22, 2004

Originally posted by harry Krishna
I think of all my training and schooling that I have attended, of all the skills that I've acquired, I am now realizing that I use my waitering skills more than anything else....

So from now on the ER is my restaurant...

Triage nurse is now the Maitre d'
The Er nurse will now be the patient's (customers now) waiter/waitress
The Doctor/PA is the Chef
RT is the wine stewart
the CNA is the water/bread person
Housekeeping is the bussing staff

Patient comes in and is seen by the triage nurse "Welcome to ......(fill in the blank)..... ER what can I do for you tonite?

PATIENT: " I had a 900Pm reservation for three, myself, and two visitors"
TRIAGE: No problem, Ma'am, just right this way, I have your usual table (stretcher) for you. Linda will be your nurse, she'll be with you momentarily..
PATIENT: Thank you, may I have a warm blanket, pillow, bigger chairs for my visiotrs along with new magazines,,,,these we read last time we were here.
TRIAGE: As you wish Ma'am.
PATIENT: Oh and another thing, I want to be seen by Dr. Henry, I see Dr Kevin is here, I don;t like the way he prepares his cephalgia special... not enough narco spice.
TRAIGE: As you wish..
VISITOR: Oh and a phone plez, I need to notify everyone I know that we are here.
TRIAGE: Right there on the wall
VISITOR: (UPSET).. hand it to me, dial an outside line and put your code in, it doesn't give me long distance unless you put your code in duhhh!
NURSE LINDA: Hi I am Linda I will be your RN (waitress) for the evening. What can I get you tonight?
PATIENT: I'll start off with 4 mg Morphine IV, followed by 25mg Phenergan for my nausea, then for the main course I will need Dilaudid 2mg..um.. make that 4mg IV. I'm feeling extra hungry, so please give me 10mg Valium IV. Then for dessert I will take a Percocet,Take Home pack.
NURSE LINDA: No problem, have it your way.
VISITOR: Can you get me a cup of water. Make sure you get it from the bubbler and not the spicket. And ice too.
VISITOR (on phone): And I'll have a lunch bag and a juice.
NURSE LINDA: Coming right up.
PATIENT: And get Sue to put my IV she is the best......

hold the pickle hold the lettuce

special orders don't upset us

all we ask is that you let us

serve it your waaaaaaay!

have it your way, have it your way....

NURSE LINDA: and while i am at it, can i offer you a coffee colonic? it's all the rage in hollywood! :devil:

MAGIK GIRL · Jan 22, 2004

Originally posted by MAGIK GIRL
hold the pickle hold the lettuce
special orders don't upset us
all we ask is that you let us
serve it your waaaaaaay!
have it your way, have it your way....

NURSE LINDA: and while i am at it, can i offer you a coffee colonic? it's all the rage in hollywood!

:cool: :cool: :cool: NURSE LINDA: and for desert may i bring you several cab vouchers and some take home vicodin packs?

PATIENT: of coorifice, that goes with out saying!

NURSE LINDA: anything! i am here to please and serve you at your becon call. :devil: :devil:

ERNUTBALL · Jan 22, 2004

Harry you nailed it! I really do feel that way just about every weekend. And let us not forget those that feel we are a self service restaurant.

When Nurse Linda says: I will have your drink for you in just a moment.

Guest: It's OK, I know where the fridge is, I'll fix myself a drink, while you get my dinner.

Come on people this is a high-end establishment - NO SELF SERVE! What will our little waitresses do if you all wait on yourselves.

And no! We are not pizza hut - there is no 20 minute guarantee or it's half-off your bill!

NYCRN16 · Jan 22, 2004

:roll

And after you ate that nice dinner, I will even bring you a bedpan to empty your stomach! Be sure to tip your waitress!!

MAGIK GIRL · Jan 22, 2004

Originally posted by ERNUTBALL
Harry you nailed it! I really do feel that way just about every weekend. And let us not forget those that feel we are a self service restaurant.

When Nurse Linda says: I will have your drink for you in just a moment.

Guest: It's OK, I know where the fridge is, I'll fix myself a drink, while you get my dinner.

Come on people this is a high-end establishment - NO SELF SERVE! What will our little waitresses do if you all wait on yourselves.

And no! We are not pizza hut - there is no 20 minute guarantee or it's half-off your bill!

:D YES,YES! this is a 5 star establishment!:kiss

MAGIK GIRL · Jan 22, 2004

Originally posted by imagin916
:roll

:roll

And after you ate that nice dinner, I will even bring you a bedpan to empty your stomach! Be sure to tip your waitress!!

ahhh, CASH only please! :devil:

bigfishsmallpond · Jan 22, 2004

Of course, we don'rt accept tips. Shall we have security bring your car around? And don't forget your carry-out bag of all the goodies you were able to take from the drawers! like ashtrays, we WANT you to help yourself to dressings, syringes, etc!

athomas91 · Jan 22, 2004

HK and Magikgirl....i almost pee'd my pants....

don't forget the drink of the nite...is......"2beers" which translates to " 2 forty oz bud's"

and even more important than the cab voucher is the all important sick note for 2 days ago when "they started to feel bad" because today they got fired...and the school note so they don't have to get up early and get little susie to school.....

and you better keep that nasty, ignorant, red-headed charge nurse away from them because they don't like her attitude...

MAGIK GIRL · Jan 23, 2004

Originally posted by gettingmymsn
Of course, we don'rt accept tips. Shall we have security bring your car around? And don't forget your carry-out bag of all the goodies you were able to take from the drawers! like ashtrays, we WANT you to help yourself to dressings, syringes, etc!

better make it the stretch limo. you can't forget all of the pts guests. all 20 of them!

"oh, and as an added bonus, if you fill out our survey card, you could win a trip for four to lovely down town center city! compliments of 9-1-1. yes, you and three of your closest friends can experience the luxury of a ride in one of our city's finest ambulances (cabulance in patienteese). you will have the pleasure of lights and sirens and watch as all of your friends and family wave you on!

next you will experience a state of the art stretcher full of history as probably all of your family members have layed in it at one time or another.

and the piece de resistance - we the staff of this fine establishement will do all sorts of fun things to you! doesn't that sound like a blast?

:devil: :devil: :devil:

MAGIK GIRL · Jan 23, 2004

Originally posted by MAGIK GIRL
better make it the stretch limo. you can't forget all of the pts guests. all 20 of them!

"oh, and as an added bonus, if you fill out our survey card, you could win a trip for four to lovely down town center city! compliments of 9-1-1. yes, you and three of your closest friends can experience the luxury of a ride in one of our city's finest ambulances (cabulance in patienteese). you will have the pleasure of lights and sirens and watch as all of your friends and family wave you on!

next you will experience a state of the art stretcher full of history as probably all of your family members have layed in it at one time or another.

and the piece de resistance - we the staff of this fine establishement will do all sorts of fun things to you! doesn't that sound like a blast?
:devil:

no purchase necessary and cavier and champagne not included!

veetach · Jan 23, 2004

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! This is hysterical!! You have captured the scenario perfectly!

I am always amazed at people who call 911 and are transported to the ER and when they arrive they want something to eat (they havent eaten in at least 8 hours, I dont know why?) and they are cold so they need a blanket and of course they have to pee. Apparantly they forgot to pee at home???