Got to thinking about this one today, and was reminded of it when I read another thread on here...what's teh dumbest thing you've ever heard in nursing, as an explanation for a malady?
For example, the one that sticks out for me is one that I heard as a new nurse, many moons ago. I was doing an assessment on a patient, and a family member of said patient had her sone with her, who was profoundly mentally and physically handicapped. Of course, I would have never presumed to ask the nature of his complaint, but she was only too happy to volunteer it.
"When he was born, the nurse in the room had long fingernails and she scratched his head. That's why he's like this. It's all her fault. We tried to sue her, but the judge threw out the case."
I was stunned, to say the least, and didn't challenge it as hogwash outright, but I did ask,
"Did she puncture his scalp with her nails?"
"No, she just scratched him on the head. It didn't show, but she did it."
You can bet money I was VERY thorough with that assessment. Heaven forbid the lady get staph or some other dread condition because my hair or eyelashes were too long.
Anyone else ever heard a completely absurd reasoning for someone's ailments?
I had a patient who wanted epi listed as an allergy. Why? "I had that medicine when my heart stopped." She was correct, but didn't realize she had it BECAUSE her heart stopped, not the other way around...
Had a lady that listed epi as an allergy because it made her heart race.
I have a huge list of "allergies" that I explain to docs/nurses are sensitivities due to the dysautonomia I have. Medication reactions and common effects CAN be exaggerated in some people :) I refuse to take them- unless (and there is only one that this applies to on my list) I'm coding. I refuse to have lidocaine w/epi when I have local anesthesia, because it does make my heart race beyond the expected tachy, and leads to PVCs (documented). I'd rather have the bleeding from not getting the vasoconstrictive benefits. :)
I was readying the oxygen cage for a small dog in crisis. The gums were as blue as the background on this message. The client asks me what I was doing. I explained the process. Her reply, "Oh he's deahtly allergic to oxygen". I told her, "That he was going to die without it". Dog went into the cage.
Specializes in CST in general surgery, LDRs, & podiatry.
Had a PCT (one trained and certified even) tell me that "it's going to be nice to have all the blood from her period go into the catheter bag so we don't have to clean it up" upon hearing that a patient was getting a Foley. I had to explain about the two different holes....she had no idea! And this was a person that was technically technically allowed to insert catheters! So scary!
So, this female PCT was obviously old enough/grown up enough to be having periods of her OWN - makes me wonder (just for a second, mind you) how she manages her own "feminine protection" at those times?? Hoping it's some kind of pad - I can't imagine her confusion at trying to properly maneuver a tampon!
As a student nurse I drew the "lucky" card to do a one day phlebotomy training. After practicing setting up, reviewing which tubes are for which labs, etc, I was ready. A little nervous, but ready.
My very first draw was to be from a heroin addict. You could see the track lines all over her body. Would you believe that woman started screaming before I even got the cover off the butterfly? Finally got the stick but not before two people helped hold her down!
As a student nurse I drew the "lucky" card to do a one day phlebotomy training. After practicing setting up, reviewing which tubes are for which labs, etc, I was ready. A little nervous, but ready.
My very first draw was to be from a heroin addict. You could see the track lines all over her body. Would you believe that woman started screaming before I even got the cover off the butterfly? Finally got the stick but not before two people helped hold her down!
Ive had IV drug abusers tell me they are deathly afraid of needles too. Still trying to figure that out
Specializes in Care Coordination, MDS, med-surg, Peds.
I remember reading about at least one couple who were having difficulty with intercourse. The woman said it hurt too badly. On exam it turned out that the couple thought that the urethra was where he needed to insert his member.... wonder what the old "gina was there for???
I knew a nurse who was afraid to drive her car at night "because having the lights on would run down my car battery".
"I got sugar diabetes from eating too much sugar" LOL kinda right??!!
I knew of a nursing student who was amazed that a member has one opening on the top, usually. Her hubby had two on the underside and she thought that was the way they were supposed to be.
I know of a patient who thinks that tape on the skin makes him "high".
My grandmother's mother said that styes in one's eye were caused by "peeing in the middle of the road." Now that one, I *think* is perhaps a poor translation from PA Dutch. At least I hope so.
Ahhh hahahha you're bringing back fond memories of my childhood growing up in Central PA!
Specializes in Retired OR nurse/Tissue bank technician.
Tired to explain there was no way in heck that he was two months past his due date. No amount of medical reasoning would change her mind. She was insistant that she was due the middle of July but he wasn't born until the end of September (so that would be 2 1/2 months late!). I tried to reason that perhaps she WAS pregnant and had a very early miscarriage but then got pregnant again right away, thus it appeared she was preg for 11 1/2 months. Nope she refused to believe anything anyone told her..she WAS pregnant for 11 1/2 months with the same baby..
My mom was pregnant 44 weeks with me. She had two doctors confirm the EDC, based on dates and belly size. I baked for so long, I was dysmature-I'd started to shrink d/t the beginnings of placental insufficiency.
at trying to properly maneuver a tampon! 
wooh, BSN, RN
1 Article; 4,383 Posts
Had a lady that listed epi as an allergy because it made her heart race.