Got to thinking about this one today, and was reminded of it when I read another thread on here...what's teh dumbest thing you've ever heard in nursing, as an explanation for a malady?
For example, the one that sticks out for me is one that I heard as a new nurse, many moons ago. I was doing an assessment on a patient, and a family member of said patient had her sone with her, who was profoundly mentally and physically handicapped. Of course, I would have never presumed to ask the nature of his complaint, but she was only too happy to volunteer it.
"When he was born, the nurse in the room had long fingernails and she scratched his head. That's why he's like this. It's all her fault. We tried to sue her, but the judge threw out the case."
I was stunned, to say the least, and didn't challenge it as hogwash outright, but I did ask,
"Did she puncture his scalp with her nails?"
"No, she just scratched him on the head. It didn't show, but she did it."
You can bet money I was VERY thorough with that assessment. Heaven forbid the lady get staph or some other dread condition because my hair or eyelashes were too long.
Anyone else ever heard a completely absurd reasoning for someone's ailments?
my sister-in-law was pregnant with m/f fraternal twins several years ago and my dear mother-in-law informed us that they were not identical. i told her, 'well, of course they aren't... one is a boy and one a girl.' she looked at me like i was an idiot and insisted that a woman could have identical twins of opposite sex! i tried to explain that by definition identical meant they were the same and there are distinct differences between boys and girls... never could convince her otherwise.
Specializes in Retired OR nurse/Tissue bank technician.
I once took care of child with severe hydrocephalus, and severe mental retardation, and I believe he was missing part of his brain as well. His mother asked the Dr if he could have a brain transplant. I felt so bad for this poor woman, all she wanted was for her son to get better. Sad situtation.....
NiceNurse LPN
An ICU nurse I know had a family from China whose wife/mother attempted suicide by hanging and was now brain dead. The doctors talked to them about organ donation, turning of the respirator, etc, but the family declined both, insisting that they had to take her to China for a brain transplant, saying that the Chinese had this technology and her life would be saved if they just could get her back to the Orient and find a suitable donor.
What they didn't consider is the 'donor brain' they'd get (if such technology were available) would be full of the other person's memories, not their loved one's.
Specializes in Retired OR nurse/Tissue bank technician.
A social worker careplanned on a quad. patient & his needs for sexual gratification...she expected nursing to perform oral sex on him! That is one dumb thing I'll never forget!
While oral sex was not required, home care nurses helping para/quad patients here were told that part of their expected duties may be helping their patients with sexual needs, including assisting with masturbation (helping patient place hands correctly) or sex with a partner.
Specializes in Retired OR nurse/Tissue bank technician.
My grandmother's mother said that styes in one's eye were caused by "peeing in the middle of the road." Now that one, I *think* is perhaps a poor translation from PA Dutch. At least I hope so.
My grandmother said it was from peeing on the side of the road, not the middle. And pimples on your tongue were caused by telling a lie.
Specializes in Retired OR nurse/Tissue bank technician.
Well, I kind of have to agree. For real.
And scraping the plaque out is downright painful
I managed to get necrotizing fasciitis from a dental visit. I had a drainage tube trying to empty a seroma on my leg and it was time for my annual dental check-up. They'd asked if I'd had surgery, but I said no, since the drainage tube was just done via ultrasound. I'd told the hygienist about it and she said there shouldn't be a problem.
A few days later, I started to develop redness and swelling to the leg. They pulled out the tube and put me on abx for cellulitis. Three or four days after that, my shin and calf started turning black. Rush into ER, admitted, sent to the OR, "Multiple necrotic areas along fat and fascia".
A patient called me in to go over her discharge instructions, because her ride home had arrived. I went through the general post op discharge instructions re. s/s to report,etc. I also explained that she should not drive until her MD ok's it. She then looked at me with a puzzled look and said..."Can I ride in a car?????" I looked for a minute, trying to understand if there was a hidden meaning to the question, and said "well, yes. We certainly don't want you to walk home".
My mom was pregnant 44 weeks with me. She had two doctors confirm the EDC, based on dates and belly size. I baked for so long, I was dysmature-I'd started to shrink d/t the beginnings of placental insufficiency.
Dates and belly size are not 100% accurate but be that as it may..44 weeks is a far cry from 50 wks pregnant. You were dysmature at 44 wks d/t placental insufficiency..can you imagine how "dysmature" he'd be adding another 6 wks to "baking" and even more placental insufficiency?! The placenta would be useless at that point. He'd be dead. He was of average size and length for a newborn in that time period (1967). I still say my MIL was preg and lost that baby in a very early miscarriage then became pregnant again not long afterward without realizing she had lost the 1st baby.
ETA: Why,( if they (both docs who confirmed EDC) were both certain of the due date) did they let your mother go to 44 wks??
Specializes in Retired OR nurse/Tissue bank technician.
Dates and belly size are not 100% accurate but be that as it may..44 weeks is a far cry from 50 wks pregnant. You were dysmature at 44 wks d/t placental insufficiency..can you imagine how "dysmature" he'd be adding another 6 wks to "baking" and even more placental insufficiency?! The placenta would be useless at that point. He'd be dead. He was of average size and length for a newborn in that time period (1967). I still say my MIL was preg and lost that baby in a very early miscarriage then became pregnant again not long afterward without realizing she had lost the 1st baby.
ETA: Why,( if they (both docs who confirmed EDC) were both certain of the due date) did they let your mother go to 44 wks??
True. Forty-four weeks is much different than 50.
I questioned the likelihood of the doctors being accurate, but apparently the one was well known for being able to judge EDC within 3-4 days, a week at most, so at best, I cooked for 43 weeks.
I have no clue why they left me in there so long; I really don't. I know Mom resisted being induced and her doctor at the time let it be as long as she felt safe. Had I not arrived on the Saturday, Mom was going to be induced the following Monday and as it was, I had to be taken with forceps.
I told Mom that I probably knew exactly what this world held for me and wanted nothing of it.
I questioned the likelihood of the doctors being accurate, but apparently the one was well known for being able to judge EDC within 3-4 days, a week at most, so at best, I cooked for 43 weeks.
I have no clue why they left me in there so long; I really don't. I know Mom resisted being induced and her doctor at the time let it be as long as she felt safe. Had I not arrived on the Saturday, Mom was going to be induced the following Monday and as it was, I had to be taken with forceps.
I told Mom that I probably knew exactly what this world held for me and wanted nothing of it.
When I was doing my clinical, I just so happened to be taking care of a pt who was the sister of an old nurse I worked with many many years ago.
Now, I had nothing against this nurse, personally. I had heard tell that she was a wonderful OB nurse waaaaaay back in the day, but as for the rest of it... phtttttt!
We used to say, "If I ever ever should crash and burn at work, please don't let B touch me!"
Well, I was thrilled to see her. It had been many years and I had long forgotten how... messed up she could be.
I am there with the staff nurse and here is Old B talking about her sister's foley: "They had trouble getting it into her lady parts...".
She not only said this once, but more than once AND even made reference to her sister being "backward" and a "virgin".
The staff nurse, *sigh*, had a look of polite confusion, as she knew she was talking to a nurse... and a former OB nurse, even, of many years.
Now Old B is a good person, but it did, unfortunately, recall to my mind what made her seem so scary to us many years ago.
:hpygrp::hpygrp::smackingf
pandora72, BSN, RN
25 Posts
my sister-in-law was pregnant with m/f fraternal twins several years ago and my dear mother-in-law informed us that they were not identical. i told her, 'well, of course they aren't... one is a boy and one a girl.' she looked at me like i was an idiot and insisted that a woman could have identical twins of opposite sex! i tried to explain that by definition identical meant they were the same and there are distinct differences between boys and girls... never could convince her otherwise.