The Case Against Breastfeeding

meluhn · Jan 11, 2010

As long as we don't give them the wrong info. I've breastfed two children and my boobs are pretty much in the same shape as they were before hand. Maybe a little bigger/floppier, but I attribute that to weight gain and not the breastfeeding/pregnancy. My nipples CERTAINLY aren't less sensitized!!

Well then you are very lucky. I have had a different experience. People should know the down side to breast feeding. Even so, I am glad I did it for as long as I could.

I actually think there is an emotional componant for some people that could be harmful or at least not helpful to the child. I am speaking of the people who do breastfeed their kids after the reccomended 1yr mark. I think our job as moms is to gradually prepare our children to be independent. By breastfeeding until the kid is 3 and having them sleep in the "family bed", (it tends to be the same people who do these things), what are we teaching them? We are teaching them dependence instead of independence. JMO

lamazeteacher · Jan 11, 2010

the body does everything on its own, breast milk is developed for a reason, not to just waste it all.

Ah, yes, and one's body is not just its breasts, or health dependant upon breastmilk only. There are alternatives for a reason, too.

This from a nurse who is a lactation consultant, and has gotten through breast cancer in both breasts 35 and 31 years ago, by using my own sense of feeling and hands to discover it early. We need to see that all tools to get any job done satisfactorily are there. The task is to find them, and use them wisely. :idea:

Just a Dose · Jan 11, 2010

Breastfeeding is about making a choice for a life other than your own. Note I did not put anybody down in this post, so please do not take any of this the wrong way. hmmm.

Everything that we do or say affects a life other than our own.

Some of you ladies are really raising my blood pressure. If I had pree clampsia this would have far worse effects on my baby. BTW, I did have pre eclampsia... just as well I didn't have time to stress over breast feeding or not.

I must say breastfeeding my baby through out the night and during the day was far easier than mixing and cleaning bottles. It was an endearing experience.

As long as I eat healthy, didn't drink, smoke, take antibioltics, roll over on my baby, or anything else that would negatively impact him - it may in fact be better than bottle feeding and Gods/Natures gift.

Just a Dose · Jan 11, 2010

Note I did not put anybody down in this post, so please do not take any of this the wrong way. I feel we should encourage moms who want to bf, and even give some encouragement to those who think they do not. Some will continue and be successful if provided accurate info.

I'm sorry this is all directed at you BabyCatchr... but we need to remember that there are many important things - like providing accurate info on how to use a car seat. Call me young, dumb and uninformed way back then - but when I left the hospital and the discharge nurse didn't have time to answer how tight the car seat restraints should be on my newborns chest... that ten minute ride could have killed him.

imenid37 · Jan 11, 2010

It is the nurse's job to teach and inform. It is the patient's job to decide. It is someone's else's job to judge because that is just too tall of an order for any mere mortal who is not perfect. Women need to lay off of one another. A sister-in-law of mine takes a very long look down her nose at bottlefeeders, yet she allows her kids to ride on dad's lap on a riding lawn mower which I think is horrible. When we are perfect, we can throw rocks at other women. Truth of the matter when we parent, most of us well-meaing folks do somerthing, someone else would find horrible, lazy, or otherwise unacceptable. It is very liberating to choose to offer good intentions, but in the end to mind one's own business. I breastfed all of my kids. My daughter is a bottlefeeding mom. I think she is doing a wonderful job with her baby. Co-workers ask why I didn't talk her into breastfeeding. That is because it is her baby and her decision. My job is to love her and the baby and accept her decisions as final and carefully considered.

allnurses Guide · Jan 12, 2010

Well then you are very lucky. I have had a different experience. People should know the down side to breast feeding. Even so, I am glad I did it for as long as I could.
I actually think there is an emotional componant for some people that could be harmful or at least not helpful to the child. I am speaking of the people who do breastfeed their kids after the reccomended 1yr mark. I think our job as moms is to gradually prepare our children to be independent. By breastfeeding until the kid is 3 and having them sleep in the "family bed", (it tends to be the same people who do these things), what are we teaching them? We are teaching them dependence instead of independence. JMO

The family bed advocates will ask you what you are teaching an infant by putting her in a separate room to scream for various time intervals, pick her up for a minute, put her down again- repeat as long as it takes until the baby gives up or becomes exhausted.

I didn't really have a philosophical agenda about all the hot-button issues beyond knowing that BF was better for the baby- and the mother (an interesting, but separate topic) As I got into my routine, I found it easier to continue breastfeeding than not, past 1 yr, which isn't an arbitrary stop point. It's a recommended minimum point. You learn as you go. It really bothers me when people hint that a mother who nurses her kids beyond 1 yr. is some kind of a sicko. That stereotype is just as harmful and unfair as the opposite, the career driven control-freak who views her children as another task to schedule in her Day-Timer.

We can speculate endlessly about what effect the things we do when kids are under 2 yrs old will have on their adult personalities, but I can tell you that the kids of the moms I knew, and my 2, grew into independent adults just fine even though we both fell asleep at times when I fed them while lying down in bed. It just felt to me like the right thing to do. BTW, using disposable diapers also felt like the right thing to do. Having all their childhood immunizations as scheduled felt like the right thing to do. Those 2 things alone make me ineligible for that group of "same type of people who tend to do those things." :)

L&DRN08, RN · Jan 12, 2010

If we ever have children, my husband is adamant that I breast feed... I'll stop there.

Is he so "adament" because of the benefits of breastmilk, or because it relieves him of feeding duties??

L&DRN08, RN · Jan 12, 2010

Bottom line is we all know that "breast is best" even if "only a little better" its still better than formula. Does that mean that you're harming your baby if you choose to bottle feed? NO....but the truth is you aren't feeding the baby the "best" thing you could be. Thats it point blank.

SO....if you choose to bottlefeed....its your choice....you really don't have to justify it or explain it. It was a choice you made.

I feel like if you're making excuses, trying to give reasons why, breaking out all the latest research about how breastfeeding isn't necessarily best (like that ridiculous article) then you are feeling guilty or insecure with your decision to bottlefeed....for whatever reason.

I would just like to see someone say "I bottlefeed/fed by baby" when asked why..... say "because thats what I wanted to do" No excuses, no justification. WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK, you made a decision its noones business WHY you made this choice.

I know breastmilk is the best thing you can give an infant....I will breastfeed my baby....or atleast make the attempt. My sister did not, some of my friends did not......and you know what...NOT 1 of them ever felt compelled to explain herself.

I really dont think a baby has ever gotten sick or died as a direct result of being formula fed. Its not poison....its just not "the best"

Women need to stop being so worried about what others think of them and stand strong in their decisions. And please stop it with the "vulnerable new mom" excuse......its pitiful!!!!! Did you not think about & decide upon how you would feed your baby before you got to the hospital? Now you're going to let someone change your mind to fit what they feel is "right" C'MON!

I am a L&D nurse, I ask mom how she plans to feed her baby....I spend time assisting her & teaching her whichever way she chooses. Although I would love to see every mom breastfeed (even if for a short period of time) I refuse to pressure them in any way.

natatat · Jan 12, 2010

I agree with those that said the author of the article seemed to be seeking approval to stop breast-feeding. She obviously didn't like it. Maybe she liked it at first (I mean, she had 3 kids), but if she didn't like it with the last one as she kept saying, she shouldn't have cared what anyone thought about it. I understand that there's a lot of ridicule for people who don't breast-feed but she even said she WAS breast-feeding. Being criticized for not breast-feeding and being frowned upon for weening earlier than a year is not the same thing at all.

My paternal grandmother had TB and did not breast-feed any of her eight children. They all turned out fine. The only one who is a little off is possibly my own father, who was allergic to the formula and had to drink soy milk. He's smaller than the rest and has some social awkwardness (but I think the social problems are due to my grandmother coddling him throughout his childhood because "he's the sick one").

I wasn't breast-fed because my mother was a smoker. She was pretty selfish on that part. I don't think women who bottle-feed are selfish, but women who refuse to stop smoking are selfish. My mother stopped smoking during her last two pregnancies (not the first, but my brother is completely healthy, thank God), or so she says, though my dad would find some cigarette packs in the house sometimes. But then as soon as my sister (and then me) was born, she said no to breast-feeding because she wanted to smoke again and she didn't want anyone to give her guilt for doing both. Now that, my friends, is selfish.

Fortunately, I turned out fine. I was top of my class every single year of my life. The only time I did bad in school was my first year of college because I was undecided, unmotivated, and slacked off. Not because I was stupid. I think the IQ thing is a load of bull.

I don't have any children but when I do I know my fiance will want me to breast-feed. He thinks it will make our baby smarter (really, because he and his five brothers and sisters were all breast-fed and are all of average - or below average - intelligence. I love him but he's not exactly the academic type) and healthier. The only thing I agree with is healthier. As a future nurse, I know that breast-feeding would be beneficial to my baby.

But if it hurts way too much I'm not going to keep trying. If I hate it, I'm not going to keep doing for longer than I need to. I think it's wrong to say that women should "just get used to it" and things like that because "it was easy for me". I've seen women breast-feed like it's perfectly painless and that's great for them, but I've also witnessed women in pain, trying to breast-feed and fighting back tears because it hurt so bad.

As for the public breast-feeding - I know it's a touchy subject for some people. The argument of "Well if you don't like it don't watch" is really rude when it's concerning a public vicinity. If you're in your own home and want to breast-feed in front of your guests, go for it, but don't do it at a restaurant (seriously, some people get grossed out, it doesn't matter if it's "natural") or something like that. I worked as a cashier/hostess for a few years and had to be the one to go ask women to please not breast-feed so openly in the restaurant and the reaction I got was always righteous indignation the "You can't tell me when and where I can and cannot feed my baby" shpeal, when customers nearby were visibly disgusted. And technically, most businesses and restaurants are private property (not all, but most), so it is not a "public right" to do whatever you want.

My fiance's sister actually got mad at me when she was in my father's home for a holiday party and she started breast-feeding in front of everyone, when I asked her to go to my room to breast-feed her son. She got mad and was all, "it's natural, he's hungry" tat everyone says. The fact is, most people don't want to see it, and I know my family well enough to know that they would be offended (and the ones who saw her before she left the room in a huff were.). To a lot of people it's rude and impolite to do that kind of thing in public. I don't want to see some couple making out in front of my face, or a man urinating on the sidewalk next to me... they're not entirely different things like people keep trying to point out. It's just common courtesy in our society.

I am, however, grateful for and thankful to the women who make an honest effort to use a blanket to cover themselves while breast-feeding or ask beforehand if people mind if they feed the baby in front of them, which, if I breast-feed and stick with it, is how I will be, because it's proper manners.

The sad thing is you can't reason with a woman who wants to whip her boob out in public to feed her baby instead of going to a quiet corner or to the restroom. It's the whole "don't tell me what to do" and "don't tell me how to raise my child" problem. People don't want to be told what to do or told how to do things, especially when it comes to their kids, no matter what age the child might be.

I do think it's a bit gross when women continue to breast-feed their children well past two and three years of age. It might be a culture thing again, but it's just really creepy. I also, however, am against letting children sleep in the bed with the parents, the "family bed" thing, but a lot of people like it. It's just a preference and as long as your kid doesn't turn out to be a crazy serial killer or something, it's your business (as long as I don't have to see your boob :) )

allnurses Guide · Jan 12, 2010

Breast feeding should never hurt. Some people get sore if they skip some feedings because it works like a supply and demand system. It makes me kind of sad to hear you giving legitamacy to anyone's argument that breastfeeding is gross, disgusting, or comparable to urinating in public.

Most women who nurse in public are discreet. They don't whip their boob out in a full frontal or cause a commotion. Unless, they are one of the few whose entire point is political in the first place. Most women aren't like that.

I don't think there's anything really conclusive about correlation with intelligence. I was bottle fed, and I am obviously, awesomely brilliant ha ha j/k

BabyCatchr, ADN, ASN, RN · Jan 13, 2010

One year mark? The WHO (World Health Organization) recommends AT LEAST 2 years and the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) recommends AT LEAST 1 year. That is at a **minimum**.

I breastfed my son until 4 years old (He had a hard time weaning! Not my idea to go that long. He now laughs about that.) and my daughter until 3 years old and the both shared my bed. As almost 12 and 14 years old, they are the most independent, intelligent, polite, well-adjusted children anyone I know has met. They are adventurous and try activities such as hunting, gymnastics, band, boy scouts, baseball, cheerleading, traveling, etc, get straight A's in honors classes with minimal assistance from me, and already talk about what they are going to major in in college. My son already has all his college classes (chemical engineer like all the men in our family) planned out and he is only 13 but already in high school.

Well then you are very lucky. I have had a different experience. People should know the down side to breast feeding. Even so, I am glad I did it for as long as I could.
I actually think there is an emotional componant for some people that could be harmful or at least not helpful to the child. I am speaking of the people who do breastfeed their kids after the reccomended 1yr mark. I think our job as moms is to gradually prepare our children to be independent. By breastfeeding until the kid is 3 and having them sleep in the "family bed", (it tends to be the same people who do these things), what are we teaching them? We are teaching them dependence instead of independence. JMO

meluhn · Jan 14, 2010

One year mark? The WHO (World Health Organization) recommends AT LEAST 2 years and the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) recommends AT LEAST 1 year. That is at a **minimum**.
I breastfed my son until 4 years old (He had a hard time weaning! Not my idea to go that long. He now laughs about that.) and my daughter until 3 years old and the both shared my bed. As almost 12 and 14 years old, they are the most independent, intelligent, polite, well-adjusted children anyone I know has met. They are adventurous and try activities such as hunting, gymnastics, band, boy scouts, baseball, cheerleading, traveling, etc, get straight A's in honors classes with minimal assistance from me, and already talk about what they are going to major in in college. My son already has all his college classes (chemical engineer like all the men in our family) planned out and he is only 13 but already in high school.

What purpose did it serve to breastfeed your kids that long?