I am a new graduate and just recently got off my orientation. I work on a very busy med/surg floor. I had a full load of 5 pts today: two with psychiatric conditions, 2 complete and 1 transfer. In the middle of the busy day the surgeon came and asked me to assist him with one of my patients. I was helping him to find the equipment needed for a procedure and he was getting mad that "it's impossible to get all the needed supplies in this hospital" etc. I told him we don't have a certain type of dressing at this floor and he just raised his voice and said "Why don't you find out what floor has it and get it for me. I already have enough of this..." I was really shocked because I don't think I have ever been yelled at, especially by a male, so I just looked around and other RNs who work with me and watched us did not say anything either... Then I went to look for a dressing and meanwhile one RN told him smth about him being inappropriate, so later he apologized to me in a patient's room (to make it even "better" :-) for being a jerk before he left but I just did not say anything to him at all...
Ok, I know there are a lot of stories out here about being yelled at, etc and I I am not writing my story here to complain or get some sympathy. My question is really basic. If you had to tell a doctor not to raise his/her voice at you in one/two sentences, how would you do it? I wanted to say smth at that moment, but I had hundred of questions in the back of my mind: should I get him to the side, should I say smth right there at the front station so other RNs are my witnesses in case it gets any further, should a charge RN intervene... So, basically what should I do and say not to get to the level of those MDs and stay professional... I am looking for a best suggestion :-)
Snotty doctors come in all shapes and sizes. There is a new female doctor at work, very sharp with all concerned. Then the theatre matron had words with her and she - the doctor - came crying to the ICU nurses. She has been soooo much more polite with us ever since.
I agree that you should have accepted his apology. Even though you were trying not to discuss it infront of the patient, you still should have made some sort of acknowledgement to him.
I have had my fair share of snotty, bratty doctors and while i haven't had a copy machine thrown at me, i did have a chart thrown at me, hitting me in the face. My offense in the doc's eyes was not being able to read his handwriting. To which I was met with a face full of the chart and him screaming "How about now! Can you read it!". I calmly picked up the chart and simply said "How professional." He realized that he made a terrible mistake and was apologetic beyond words. We had a long discussion about decorum - i felt like a mom berating a 7 year old. I was tempted to offer him the choice of me reporting it to my manager or me getting even by throwing a chart at his face - but in the end i just ended up reporting him.
The problem with "I" statements is that you assume the other person cares about your feelings, or how their behavior affects you. That's a huge assumption.
I've had experiences like this in my current job. I never raise my voice to them; as Dear Abby said, you can't shame the shameless. I usually respond with "I'm right here, You don't have to shout." or "If you ask me like that, I'm not doing anything." If they start swearing, I say "If you're you're going to use that language, I'm going to have to end this conversation"
With the doctor who yelled about supplies, I'd probably say
olli975- Yes, unfortunately, those things happened to me, and others that worked with me. I'm all for giving them respect, but once they do something like that, I don't feel like I should have to respect them while at the same time dodging heavy objects. That sounds rude, I guess, but please...
When I was in school, we were taught the common courtesies, for lack of a better word. It's still ingrained in my head. When a MD comes into the station, I automatically stand up and give them my chair, even if I'm at the computer charting or whatever. The dh is a nursing sup. and he does the same thing. Some like you to walk a step behind when you are rounding with them and sometimes even want you to write their orders on the chart when they give them orally to you on rounds. Sometimes I know I just really don't have time for that, on a medical unit where I used to work, we would have between 10 and 12 patients. That doesn't leave a whole lot of time for bull, so I do what I can.
But anyway, the MD that threw the copy machine got turned in - thank God I did have a witness- and sent to a month of anger mgmt classes then to inpatient rehab. They don't practice medicine any more. The one that ripped the phone out of the wall and threw it got written up and eventually left the area where we live, not sure why, but it was his second offense using the phone as a personal weapon. Figures!
So, the ones that showed their tails did get written up, most of the guilty parties are newer MDs, the older ones I knew since 88 or 89 when I was a ward clerk. I guess the younger ones think they need to get a reputation, but who would want that kind of reputation?!
I never go to a MD if they act like that to staff members, I ask my parents to either.
OMG I love this suggestion I am definitely going to use it the next time I get yelled at by a surgeon....and see what happens!!! One time I did complain to my nurse manager and it did seem to help.....but if I did this everytime I dealt with a hostile surgeon her e-mail box would be full......
If your being yelled at then you need to politely but firmly say 'I am not comfortable being spoken to in this manner, you need to lower your voice.' If this doesn't work then just walk away from the situation because no one should have to work in this sort of environment. If they then follow you and keep yelling then maybe go to where there will be other nurses at witnesses to this behaviour. If they then still continue to yell at you despite asked to stop then tell them very firmly that their behaviour is unacceptable, that you feel unsafe and will be calling security. Document the incident and write a complaint to the hospital administration.
I usually just say something like-- "I appreciate the fact that you're frustrated, but yelling and being rude isn't going to change the situation. Please lower your voice, explain to me what you need, and I'll do my best to get it for you." Honestly I kinda use the same tone that I use with my kids. In the beginning my first instinct was to yell back, but I realized that if I lowered myself to their level, they would feel justified in their behavior. So now I kind of try to make them feel embarrassed. Doesn't always work, but they can't complain about me to my boss, cuz they're the one behaving poorly..
Specializes in Emergency Medicine, Dr. Office, Psych.
I had ONE raise his voice to me, I said Doc, do you need your hearing checked? he said huh... i said yep i knew it, you were yelling & you didnt know it cuz your hearing is bad... he said NO i was yelling because I was mad, i said well i didnt know you were a dog, dog's get mad, people get angry! hahahahahaa
But caution, not all Doctors deal well w/ nurses that put them in line!
I do rnjoy a little passive aggressive behavior every once in a while! A few years ago, we had one of the ruder MDs well known for his aggressiveness and horrible temper and language that would make my grandma's hair fall out. I had not at this time caught his wrath. I was in charge on a busy medical unit, and one of the day nurses came to me with a med error she had found from night shift. Of course, it had to belong to Dr. Personality. One of his patients was scheduled for two GI tests that am. One needed po contrast, the other one had to be done prior to oral contrast adm. So, of course, the night nurse went ahead and gave the contrast before either test had been done.
So I make the call "Dr. __________, this is Anne from __________. I needed to let you know this ..." Here came the word vomit of some of the nastiest things he could come up with.
So, then he says "What in the ___________ ... who did it? Well, she has her head up her _______". ________________ ________________!!
So I apologize again, and just stand there on the phone letting him vent for a few minutes. He finally stopped for air, and then started again. "That night nurse __________ has her head up her ___________. Do you have your head up your _______ too?! When he came up for air again, I told him, "I don't, but if you don't believe me, you can come check to be sure. I'll be here until 7."
Somehow, this didn't make him mad, he was laughing by the time we hung up. Now, I have never done anything like that before or after that day, and I probably would not get away with it again in a million years, but ...
When I turned in my notice a few months later, this same MD offered me a glowing letter of recommendation. He still laughs at me when he sees me and this happened back in 2000.
Hmm, I think the correct response depends on the situation. Very few situations would call for a lack of response. Usually I can tell the difference between a person who's not at their best and frustrated, versus the real nastiness and power trippers.
The fun part is figuring out who is which type.
Oh, and a side note. It hasn't happened, but the coworker of any degree or title who happens to intentionally hit me or throw objects at me and thus commit battery and/or assault, will not be happy with my response. It's simple, pick up phone and call the police, file report.
classicdame, MSN, EdD
7,255 Posts
Ask "Are you hard of hearing?" When he says no, reply "Neither am I". If it continues, tell him you will listen when he lowers his voice.