That one patient that haunts you.

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Specializes in Cardiovascular, ER.

Do you guys have one of those? I do. I took care of them pretty recently (about 1 month ago), but they creep into my head every day that I work now. They died way too young. It's one of those things where I feel I should have done more, should have recognized something sooner. There was nothing I could do really. Their s/sx were so seemingly benign and no one even suspected they would die.

This was not my first pt death btw, just the most strange one. Not just for me, but for all my coworkers as well. I am not sure how I am dealing with it, I guess I just am.

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Do you guys have one of those? I do. I took care of them pretty recently (about 1 month ago), but they creep into my head every day that I work now. They died way too young. It's one of those things where I feel I should have done more, should have recognized something sooner. There was nothing I could do really. Their s/sx were so seemingly benign and no one even suspected they would die.

This was not my first pt death btw, just the most strange one. Not just for me, but for all my coworkers as well. I am not sure how I am dealing with it, I guess I just am.

Wow- impossible to narrow down to just one....16 y/o struck by lightening going to get the mail- heart stopped, anoxic encephalopathy.....8 y/o who's blood sugar was >800 when the doc FINALLY listened to her parents and quit saying it was the flu, and did some lab work to find an undiagnosed diabetic...all she could move was her little finger, and whimper........ Holocaust survivor w/CA who was so pleasant even with all she'd been through and was going through.......40-something y/o guy w/melanoma just removed (still had sutures) and found out he had multiple brain mets lesions, plus mets to bone, liver, lung..died in a month.......late teens boy who was in an MVA and saw his friend decapitated (didn't remember) whose injuries changed his life.....babies w/deformities.... pregnant 12 y/o- dad's baby........kid whose step-dad BIT OFF his finger because he got ticked off at some dumb thing; police found the finger in an ashtray.......little folks at the nursing homes (several in each)..... it goes on and on- IMPOSSIBLE to name just one. :)

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Specializes in Certified Med/Surg tele, and other stuff.

Yep, two I remember, almost back to back. Both were women mid thirties. One was diagnosed with appendicitis, but it turned out to be a stage IV cancer. Sad thing was she had two adorable little girls and was in the process of leaving her husband because he was verbally abusive to the girls and physically to the pt. The pt had sisters that were going to fight for custody. I spent a lot of time with the family. I would spend a ton of time rubbing J's back while she rocked in pain. Nothing made her comfortable. She refused a MS gtt, because she wanted to be lucid for her girls. I remember the day she had her sisters bring them in so she could say good bye.:crying2::crying2: OMG, that was horrible. This was early 90's and I still remember her name.

The second was a mom who had a 6 month old baby boy. She was end stage breast CA, that was diagnosed right after delivery. That nasty disease went through her like wildfire. I kept thinking that little guy was never going to know his mommy.

I think these two cases stuck out to me the most because I am a mother. My greatest fear is to leave my kids motherless.

Now that I'm throughly depressed....I think I will go hug my kid.

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Specializes in Med Surg/Tele/ER.
Wow- impossible to narrow down to just one....16 y/o struck by lightening going to get the mail- heart stopped, anoxic encephalopathy.....8 y/o who's blood sugar was >800 when the doc FINALLY listened to her parents and quit saying it was the flu, and did some lab work to find an undiagnosed diabetic...all she could move was her little finger, and whimper........ Holocaust survivor w/CA who was so pleasant even with all she'd been through and was going through.......40-something y/o guy w/melanoma just removed (still had sutures) and found out he had multiple brain mets lesions, plus mets to bone, liver, lung..died in a month.......late teens boy who was in an MVA and saw his friend decapitated (didn't remember) whose injuries changed his life.....babies w/deformities.... pregnant 12 y/o- dad's baby........kid whose step-dad BIT OFF his finger because he got ticked off at some dumb thing; police found the finger in an ashtray.......little folks at the nursing homes (several in each)..... it goes on and on- IMPOSSIBLE to name just one. :)

:hug:

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Specializes in ICU.

Two that pop into my head daily. I don't want to get into specifics but ain't this job just an eye opener? No matter how crummy of a day you're having, you gotta simply thank your lucky stars it ain't as bad as some have had or are having. That's one thing I hate about this job also. I've seen enough!

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This made me cry. Seriously.

Yep, two I remember, almost back to back. Both were women mid thirties. One was diagnosed with appendicitis, but it turned out to be a stage IV cancer. Sad thing was she had two adorable little girls and was in the process of leaving her husband because he was verbally abusive to the girls and physically to the pt. The pt had sisters that were going to fight for custody. I spent a lot of time with the family. I would spend a ton of time rubbing J's back while she rocked in pain. Nothing made her comfortable. She refused a MS gtt, because she wanted to be lucid for her girls. I remember the day she had her sisters bring them in so she could say good bye.:crying2::crying2: OMG, that was horrible. This was early 90's and I still remember her name.

The second was a mom who had a 6 month old baby boy. She was end stage breast CA, that was diagnosed right after delivery. That nasty disease went through her like wildfire. I kept thinking that little guy was never going to know his mommy.

I think these two cases stuck out to me the most because I am a mother. My greatest fear is to leave my kids motherless.

Now that I'm throughly depressed....I think I will go hug my kid.

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Specializes in Certified Med/Surg tele, and other stuff.
This made me cry. Seriously.

You know after all these years, these two still make me sick to the core.

I can handle drug abusers, ETOH pass at a young age. They had a choice to start in the first place. These two women did nothing wrong. They were just unlucky.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

A few. Nothing I personally felt responsible for but . . .they all have a common theme

1. One of a set of conjoined twins the parents never bonded with seemed to spiral downward and eventually died from sepsis last time I saw the baby- all alone.. a tiny figure in the metal crib in an isolation room with voluminous white wound dressings.

2. An infant with spina bifida (not severe) who's parents gave her up for adoption because they couldn't deal with "not perfect" died suddenly - one of those you come in and say who???

Come to think of it the ones that really haunt me are the ones I suspect knew at some level they weren't wanted or didn't belong. I mentioned it once before and it is true that some babies are just kinda stubborn and announce their strong spirit to all comers (loudly and frequently :)). It's the more sensitive babies I wonder about.

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Specializes in Nephrology.

A 22 y.o. young man post renal transplant (not a new transplant - he was 5 or 6 years post transplant) who came in with fever NYD. After weeks of not finding a cause, they took him to the OR for laparotomy to see if there was a reason for the fever. He was full of lymphoma and we transferred him to oncology on Christmas Eve. Mid January his wife had their second baby - a girl. They were able to wheel him from oncology to the delivery room to see his daughter born. He had the wheel him down to our unit on the way back to oncology so he could tell "his favourite nurses" that she had arrived. He was so happy. We collected some money among the nurses on our floor and bought a beautiful little dress for the baby, extra small so he would be able to see her in it. She wore it the first time (and only time) she came to the hospital to visit Daddy. He died beginning of March. I think this one hit home because they were so young, and had everything to look forward to and live for. To this day I think about that little girl and the Daddy she never knew. She'd be about 20 years old now. Wow. We tried so hard with him but it just wasn't to be. I have worked with transplant pts my entire career, and have known so many of them that developed PTLD, but no one stuck a chord like this one did. It was just so sad.

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OK.... need a large box of Kleenex now :heartbeat

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Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.

Former 23 weeker doing great. Adjusted to 29 weeks and thriving. She was a fiesty lil thing and adored by all. May 9th night shift she started having A,Bs and Ds. Temp drop, bowel loops etc. Kid had NEC. She perfed and died on the OR table on mother's day.

It was so devastating. I was 29 weeks pregnant myself. Took it hard. I delivered the following week. A girl.

Border town. A man C/O fever, cough, SOB, palpitations...........got the works and admitted to medsurg. He was spanish speaking only, age 25. Found out during the admission assessment he was from podunk Mexico, had 3 kids and a wife. They had no electricity, running water much less a telephone. She would walk to the city on a weekly basis to talk to him. He was a migrant worker. He shared all this during my admission hx and assessment. Suddenly, he was looking not to great, then told me he felt his heart coming out of his mouth.

Guy went into sustained Vtach, got up from the bed and layed himself on the floor...........then asystole.

In ICU he coded over and over. Had to get the ethics committee to finally let him go. There was no phone number or anyway to notify his family of his death. How horrific. Turns out he had PCP pneumonia and end stage AIDS. His K level was 9.

Recently a lil boy in pedi oncology. Cutest thing. Had no front teeth. He spoke very little English and would stand at his door and say "Attention, attention, attention......co-lu, co-lu and smile at us. He was repeating what he often heard over the intercolm "Attn, attn, attn code blue, code blue". Lost his battle with AML. He is missed dearly

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Specializes in Cardiovascular, ER.

Wow, you guys have had some heart breaking pt's - thank you for your responses. This can be the hardest job, but still rewarding. We can't save everyone, but there are so many people that don't deserve the ending they get.

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