Terrible night--mean, mean nurses....

Tweety, BSN, RN · Aug 25, 2007

You're going to find rude people wherever you go, so bolting might not be the best idea.

The best idea is to nip it in the bud when and not tolerate it. Disrespecting a coworker in front of a patient is unacceptable behavior and you need to confront this person and ask them not to do that, to take you outside of the room. You need to first try to handle when they are being rude to you personally each and every time.

"How you came across just now is interpreted by me as being rude, did you mean to be that way?" In the long run you might be helping this person acknowledge how others perceive them. (But usually they don't care.)

You also might report incidents of rudeness to patients to management, if you're willing to alienate and anger the nurse(s). Don't go saying "they are always rude" but "on Monday this nurse was quite rude to this patient, saying........" and this concerns me because we have a mission of caring.

You might get another job depending on how the market is where you live. But it definately is not going to look good to a prospective employee that a facility invested time and energy to orient you and you quit.

Good luck to you in whatever you do.

vivicaq · Aug 25, 2007

I am Very sorry this had to happen. Some nurses are known to eat their young. Unfortunately its gonna happen wherever you go. I have been there. I would advise to to hang in there master your nursing skill pretty well then if and when you decide to go somewhere else, you will have a better mastery of your skills. Right now she may appear more credible coz she is more experienced. Kill her with kindness and politely let her know you were humilated.

Be strong.

Annebug · Aug 25, 2007

You are right. There will be rude people wherever I go. I do realize that.

I have always been able to deal with workplace issues. I worked in HR for 12 years before becoming a nurse. I CAN DO THIS!

I'm just so sleep deprived--I think that's a big part of the problem. Also, our nurse manager doesn't address issues directly with people, which is a big pet-peeve of mine.

Example: someone fails to answer a call bell quickly and a patient or staff member complains. Her solution is to send a berating message to the entire staff saying that we are not exhibiting teamwork.

Staff members who are continuously complained about NEVER change their behavior. The assumption is that the NM isn't addressing the issues, and there are several blaring issues on my unit.

I'm going to be okay!

vivicaq · Aug 25, 2007

Be ware you might be in a clique enviroment. Some managers have lost their ability to effectively execute their duties coz they don't wanna confront their friends. Stay focused and be pleasant to everyone untill you figure out whats going on

Tweety, BSN, RN · Aug 25, 2007

You are right. There will be rude people wherever I go. I do realize that.
I have always been able to deal with workplace issues. I worked in HR for 12 years before becoming a nurse. I CAN DO THIS!
I'm just so sleep deprived--I think that's a big part of the problem. Also, our nurse manager doesn't address issues directly with people, which is a big pet-peeve of mine.
Example: someone fails to answer a call bell quickly and a patient or staff member complains. Her solution is to send a berating message to the entire staff saying that we are not exhibiting teamwork.
Staff members who are continuously complained about NEVER change their behavior. The assumption is that the NM isn't addressing the issues, and there are several blaring issues on my unit.
I'm going to be okay!

I know what you mean. I recently stepped up a to charge nurse position and there are two people who are thorns in my side that have been there for years without consequences. It's frustrating when management doesn't step up to the plate.

SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN · Aug 25, 2007

NewGrad, hang in there.

What you're experiencing is something I have experienced in areas other than nursing, and by men, as well. The new, younger woman with a bit more education is viewed as a threat and treated badly.

Just hang in there and TRY to let it roll off your back. It speaks to their defects of character that they behave in this way, not yours.

meownsmile, BSN, RN · Aug 25, 2007

Maybe a transfer to another department and if things didnt get much better i would probly look for another facility. That type of temperment is contagious unfortunately. It only takes a couple bad attitudes to change the whole feel of a unit. Kill them with kindness and be who you know you can and should be. Speak with the manager about the incident in front of the patient, that is totally inappropriate. Express your feeling about maybe needing to transfer to another unit and why. If she is losing new staff her management will know, but they also need to know why. If you do end up transferring to another department, make sure her manager knows why you chose to leave that department.

Norni · Aug 25, 2007

It's disheartening to know that us nurses not only have to handle difficult patients and relatives but also our very own difficult colleages. :madface:

i totally understand how u feel Grad, i was in the exact same situation 2 years ago. The patient lost trust in me after the senior RN corrected me, very crudely, in front of her. She requested to my manager not for me to be in charge of her since i was not competent enough. As a newly grad then, my confidence was crushed. :uhoh21:

Just continue to push on and believe in yourself. Work hard and prove to everyone you are good enough. :) Be nice to that senior nurse so everyone knows how big-hearted you are. Also seek to create a good psotive working environment for yourself and others!

Good luck!

tencat · Aug 25, 2007

You need to stand up to the nurse who berrated you in front of a patient and kindly, but firmly, tell him/her that you will not accept that kind of behavior. I worked with a bully charge nurse, and when said nurse yelled at me and told me to 'mind your own f---ing business' in front of several fellow co-workers during report, I pulled said nurse aside into a private room and said "I'm sorry if I offended you, that was not my intention. However, do not EVER talk to me like that again." It worked like a charm, and said nurse was sweet as pie to me for the rest of the time I was there.

I wouldn't confront a fellow nurse in front of other nurses, but if you were to pull the nurse aside into a private place, stand tall and kindly, but firmly assert yourself, that may go a long way. It's hard to do, but it can be effective. Good luck to you.

gonzo1, ASN, RN · Aug 26, 2007

I had to leave my first ER job as a new grad because the nurses there were quite verbal that they did not appreciate having to put up with a new grad. I put up with it for three months, and then one day when the manager of the dept was out sick they were so mean that I told the in charge I was putting in my 2 weeks notice and she proceeded to walk me out the door.

I was hired right away by a very nice hospital that I am still at 5 years later. A great work environment with caring people.

However, when I transferred to the ED, once again I went through hell. The worst one ended up getting fired for stalking me.

I make it my duty to be very kind to all new people in the dept now, consequently I am quite well liked.

All but one of the mean nurses that were there when I transferred are gone now, and everyone comments on how well our unit works together and how warm/fuzzy we are.

Great places do exist, but they can be hard to find. Stay long enough to get a good reference from a couple of people you work with, and then put in your 2 weeks notice. Or just start job hunting.

Like Tweety said, there are jerks everywhere, but you can work to minimize their impact on your life

CHATSDALE · Aug 26, 2007

some people [not just nurses] love to push their 'pecking order' and if you allowit it will get worse

be forthright, she may learn a thing or two and turn out to be a friend