Switched Jobs and Made A Huge Mistake....

[Mckinneyhog]

So, here goes. 

I was working in ICU and have been for many years. Decided I would like to try a specialty. So after talking with my wife and multiple conversations with the manager who assured me I'd love it, I'm now four weeks in and had to file a ethics complaint not against my manager but the actual director of the department.

So, I have talked to HR and currently in a holding pattern while they investigate the matter. I know I'm not going to have the job and really don't want the job now after what happened. The only reason I filed a complaint is that the behavior was so unprofessional and unethical that I had to report it. 

Long story short I've been at the company for only 4 weeks before this incident occurred but have really only done two weeks of actual training. Supposed to have 6 weeks of training then work with someone for an additional three weeks. 

During the beginning of training (first few days) I was having some difficulties learning everything, So I made a suggestion to my trainer of approaching it from a different approach. Trainer agreed and after that change everything started working for me and continued that way for the rest of the second week.

Now comes the what I believe are the issues that led up to me having to report the director.  First coming into this company everything was chaotic and I didn't have access to many web based features  that would make my life much easier. things like the ability to clock in, submit expenses, or even check email. Yet one day my manager was traveling and called me on the phone to give me my schedule. I wrote and repeated the days she gave me. 

The next week I was called and asked why I wasn't at work one day and I read the days I had been given over the phone and was told I was wrong. I was told that's not what the schedule says. I told her I don't have access to the schedule yet and that these were the days I was given. Evidently, this is where everything started to go downhill.

I spoke to her the next day and informed her that in my entire nursing career that I had never no called/no showed or for that matter been late. I'm usually the first at work waiting on others for huddle. I learned in the military to be 10 minutes early to wherever you are supposed to be.  She seemed to accept that it was a misunderstanding and was no need to document the event. Side note, later when I got access to the schedule I noticed that the days she gave me over the phone where for the person directly under my schedule.

Now moving on to what I believe is the second event that probably sealed my fate. I was told when I was hired on I would be paid mileage for traveling to and from facilities, with the facility closest to me as my starting point. Well after submitting my expense report it came back as rejected and stated I had to start my mileage at the first facility I arrived at. The only statement I made was "that's not what I was told". I changed my expenses and resubmitted them.

Now to last week. I was called down to the Hospital where my manager and director home hospital is to meet a trainer from a company manufacturer of the kits we use. He was going to shadow me for a few hours and provide advice. Before we started I made a comment to him in a very polite way that while performing this procedure I asked that he not speak or provide direction during the crucial part of this procedure as it distracts me. I told him that I had discussed this with my main trainer and it helped. Everything went fine that day as I also accompanied another trainer and performed two more procedures. 

So, I thought I would return back to the hospital I had been working at but received another text that night to report back to the same hospital I had just been at the day before. This is where everything changed and changed quickly. 

So, I show up and my manager and director are there. They tell me they are going to go watch me do a procedure which was very strange indeed. I asked the other trainer who I had worked with the previous day if he would be accompanying us. He said "for sure". We got up to leave and he was told his presence isn't needed. By now I'm really starting to worry. 

We walk to the elevators and I make mention again, in a polite and respectful manner to both my manager and the director, that during the crucial part of this procedure to please not talk to me as it distracts me.  At that point the director unleashes a triad of insults and accusations that would rock anyone's world.

I was stunned to say the least. SO, we get up to the floor and while trying to work out in my mind what just happened, I go through the routine of checking consent, meeting patient and all that stuff. During this point I realize that I had never performed this procedure before on the opposite side of the body. So I made the comment to the director that this is my first time doing this on that side of the body. Then she kicks me in the leg as I was turning away from her. Not a nudge or a soft kick but a firm kick. I then turned around to look at her and she had the very angry look/scowl on her face. At this point I should have walked away and refused to proceed. 

As I began the procedure, the director started making changes to the way I was taught by her people to set everything up. She kept changing things to make it more difficult on me. When I started the crucial part I was asked to step away from the patient and for the manager to step in and complete it. 

After that I was brought into a office with the two of them and was told I'm not cut out for the job and that I was a safety risk to my patients. Now mind you no one, my original trainer, the manufacturer trainer, or the other trainer has made any comments close to this. Sure there were things I could improve on but I had only been doing this for two weeks and never posed a risk to any patient. I was told that they could help me find another job and started asking if I have any medical diagnosis that would cause a tremor. I told them no and that no one has ever said that I have including the people I had trained with. So, I asked what I could do to prove this and they said to do one more procedure for them. 

I declined that day and asked if we could the following week since this was my last day to work that week. They agreed and said they would let me know the night before where and what time to show up. Which was very strange in and of itself.

They both left the office and I talked to the trainer still there and he said he worked Saturday and I asked him if I get approval would he mind if I came in and worked with him for a few hours that Saturday. I sent a text to the director and was informed that no I couldn't and that again they would let me know Sunday night when and where to be on Monday.

I was then sent a email by the director outlying my weak points and also that I had agreed with them that I had a tremor. So, at this point she has tried to intimidate me, kicked me in the leg while in the patient's room, and now lying about what I had said during our conversation. 

So, I replied to her email after I had contacted the ethics department and clarified statements she had made, my actual training time spent training, and her unprofessional conduct on the way to the patient's room and while in the patient's room. 

As a RN I have never been wrote up, verbally spoken to, or even questioned about conducting myself in a unsafe manner towards my patients. This whole ordeal came as a shock to me and I'm still somewhat shocked by it. I can't believe that I had been doing so well and then to have this happen. I was very excited to do this job and was really looking forward to it. Now, I know that's not gonna happen there but also am going to be out of a job. I could go back to my old job but it's almost like I failed. Everyone was so happy for me and to come back only being gone for a month makes me feel like a failure. This has almost devastated me to the point of questioning if I still want to be a RN at all.

I guess the feedback I'm looking for is, did I do the right thing in filing a complaint against the director? There was no way she was going to allow me to work there even if I had tried again. What should I expect from HR who told me to take Monday and Tuesday off and that they would contact me by Wednesday with an update/conclusion. 

Sorry for the book but trying to give a fuller picture of what happened.

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

It sounds like things weren't set up well there from the beginning. I can't tell you whether it was right that you reported the person, certainly it was not an inappropriate option based on what you described. Many other people would have done the same, and there might have been others that would just walk away and leave it alone. Although the kicking thing seems above and beyond what is acceptable behavior for anyone.

There's no failure in deciding that a change wasn't a good fit. If you enjoyed your ICU job, it's totally reasonable to go back. I'm sure that your coworkers will be thrilled to have an experienced colleague back. Or there are tons of other ICUs just begging experienced nurses to apply these days. Perhaps this awful bump in the road was just a sign that something better is around the corner. Good luck!

[klone, MSN, RN]

What was the procedure that you were doing/being trained to do?

[hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I]

I'm confused. Do you have a tremor or not? Were your hands shaking due to nervousness or medical condition?

 

[Mckinneyhog]

39 minutes ago, hppygr8ful said:

I'm confused. Do you have a tremor or not? Were your hands shaking due to nervousness or medical condition?

 

No tremor/shake. They wanted me gone so they had to make up something other then we don't like him. That being said I got along with everyone else. They just didn't like that I asked about things that were told to me before I took the job and now have changed which affect me financially. I didn't even press the issue just made the comment "that's not what I was told". It appears for all intensive purpose that this place is poorly ran/managed. The other nurses who work there are great.

Long story and probably hard to follow but the director tried everything she could to make me feel uncomfortable from not allowing my preceptor to follow us, to verbally blasting me before we got to the room, to kicking me, and finally changing up the way I was taught to proceed. 

Then on top of that saying I had a essential tremor. Didn't know she was a neurologist. Also, speaking of neurologist I talked to a neuro doctor at my last place I worked and he said it's very difficult for him to diagnosis someone with a essential tremor.   

[Okami_CCRN, BSN, RN]

I have learned that the grass is not always greener on the other side after MANY attempts at escaping to the other patch. 

I think one of the major issues in their eyes was when you requested/declined to have advice/redirection during your procedural task. They might have seen this as unwillingness to accept critique and thus made you seem unfit for the position. 

In all honesty based on the information you provided youdo not seem like a match for this company and this company is not a match for you. If you still have an amicable relationship with your previous manager and would like to return to your old position you could reach out and discuss returning. 

Best of luck!

[Robmoo, ADN, BSN, RN]

Sounds like PICC line insertion.  Frankly, that company is not a fit for you.  Not being able to accept instruction from the instructor at the more sensistive part of the proceedure?  The company is rampant with disorganization?  The director assaulted you?  If they were to invite you to stay would you?  I wouldn't.

There is no shame in returning to the ICU.  Many nurses don't have the skills or the temperment to work in the ICU and you do.  That is an amazing skill!  If you were unhappy in the ICU, see if you can work PRN while you find another opportunity.  

[Mckinneyhog]

3 hours ago, Robmoo said:

Sounds like PICC line insertion.  Frankly, that company is not a fit for you.  Not being able to accept instruction from the instructor at the more sensistive part of the proceedure?  The company is rampant with disorganization?  The director assaulted you?  If they were to invite you to stay would you?  I wouldn't.

There is no shame in returning to the ICU.  Many nurses don't have the skills or the temperment to work in the ICU and you do.  That is an amazing skill!  If you were unhappy in the ICU, see if you can work PRN while you find another opportunity.  

No, I wouldn't want to go back there. As far as instruction, I received instruction from my preceptor then was switched around to different people in a matter of two days where I continued to successfully place lines. My original preceptors voice would go through my head every time like a cadence. I'm not new to this as I have successfully place lines before I took this job. I'm not a know-it-all I just found something that works for me, like most who do this job.   I just didn't want instruction while I inserted. After that you could give instruction or observe for safety but everyone talks differently or uses different jargon. It can be confusing coming from different people.  I was also promised that I would be placed with one preceptor the entire time and ended up placing lines in front of 4 different people, which by the way were successful up until the last one when I was called off of it.

Yes, I can go back to ICU as I'm always welcome back but really wanted to do this job. I had built up confidence and it was destroyed by one person in a matter of 1 hour.   There will be other opportunities to do this but for now it was squashed by someone who has a temper problem.  

I've already traveled through the seven stages of grief and have moved on to acceptance.  Just waiting to hear back from HR and figure out what I might do next. Just wasn't prepared to make this decision so soon. Such as life goes, so do jobs.

Thanks for the replies...

[Robmoo, ADN, BSN, RN]

I'm sorry that you were treated so shabbily and that it ended that way.

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

A manager physically kicked you? That's not just reportable to upper management, that's reportable to the police. Bad enough nurses have to worry about being assaulted by patients, family members or visitors, now nurses also have to worry about being assaulted by their supervisor? That's so beyond not OK I can't even wrap my head around what kind of a workplace allows that to happen without apparently even raising eyebrows.  Even without the rest of the ridiculousness that alone would be enough to cause me to walk away, and make a pretty big stink about it on the way out. 

[HiddenAngels]

Yes you absolutely did the right thing. Kicking you???  ?Grounds for immediate termination .

I’m guessing you’re not sharing the procedure you performed to maintain some sort of anonymity in case they are reading this.

I’m sorry this happened to you.  Unfortunately some nurses don’t make the best mentors/ teachers . They’re only good at tearing each other/us people down.
 

You are human first.  The worst mistake is to not make any… (that’s not me it’s some other genius person but it’s applicable to your situation).  Hold your head high, they should be ashamed of themselves.

[Robmoo, ADN, BSN, RN]

What did you decide and how did it go?