Suspended for touching a child's head and face

[GG66]

Hi my fabulous ER sisters and brothers. I'm an older nurse and have been in the ER for 5 years. In my 30 years of nursing I have always used touch therapy. I find showing compassion and tenderness goes a long way to soothing a patient. I have just received a 2 day suspension for touching the head and face of a child. There was no parental complaint and nothing was inappropriate but they used the words "inappropriate touching" and said that it was too intimate. I'd really like to know how many of you will casually pat a child's head or caress a cheek when soothing or reassuring a pediatric patient. I have done this my whole career and never had a problem so I'm struggling to understand what I did wrong and why it's a problem all of a sudden.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

I was taking a course of some kind years ago, and they said that the face is one of the most intimate places to be touched, if not THE most intimate place. I thought about it, and yeah, if someone goes to move my hair or reaches for my face, I shy away instantly. Before that course I wouldn't have thought twice, and afterwards, I realize I need to be very careful about explaining what I'm doing before approaching that area.

I don't think the OP did anything wrong, but a little education would be sensible for the employer before they go off like a teenage boy on prom night. The sad thing is that I believe an employer would really be that stupid.

OP, about five years ago, there was a toddler in a room having a tantrum. He was sick and wanted to go home, no procedures, and mom was right there. Mom had been dealing for hours, and right at that moment was letting him lie on the floor and cry. (a sensible choice, given the day they had) I wasn't their nurse, but it was hard to hear people at the desk, so I went over to close the door "and give you some privacy." I nudged the kid's foot out of the door path, and closed it. SIX MONTHS later I got written up for kicking the child and suspended for being inappropriate to mom. I originally didn't even remember the incident. Management admitted that mom didn't complain at all but another staff member (who wasn't present) thought it wasn't ok. So OP, you are not alone.

[FullGlass, BSN, MSN, NP]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Please talk to a lawyer ASAP. The initial consult is usually free. If you have a union, talk to your rep.

Providers are also getting hit with this kind of B.S. - lots of rants on KevinMD. Quora regularly has stupid questions like "I went to the doctor because my stomach hurt, and the doctor asked to examine my stomach. Is this okay?"

Personally, I haven't touched anyone on the face, but I also never thought of this as "inappropriate."

Recently, a female patient was in my office when she had a horrific leg cramp. Without thinking, I reached over and helped her massage her thigh. Fortunately, she appreciated it, but she also was from a culture that values touch and warmth. Later, I found my self worrying that somehow I could get in trouble!

As a nursing student, I often had children crawl into my lap, hug me, hold my hand and so forth, of their own accord. What is our society coming to if RNs have to fear showing affection to children?

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

On 10/10/2019 at 5:22 AM, Wuzzie said:

Similar thing happened to me for patting the diapered butt of a toddler that was hysterical from having an axillary temp taken. It was a "pat,pat,you're done buddy" kind of thing. Mom said I "beat" the child. They humored her and I lost my job. I really hope that karma is a thing.

How could a pat, pat be interpreted as a beating?

Were you having other problems/complaints at work? Was Mom drunk or high or jealous or what? Was your boss insane?

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

15 minutes ago, FullGlass said:

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Please talk to a lawyer ASAP. The initial consult is usually free. If you have a union, talk to your rep.

Providers are also getting hit with this kind of B.S. - lots of rants on KevinMD. Quora regularly has stupid questions like "I went to the doctor because my stomach hurt, and the doctor asked to examine my stomach. Is this okay?"

Personally, I haven't touched anyone on the face, but I also never thought of this as "inappropriate."

Recently, a female patient was in my office when she had a horrific leg cramp. Without thinking, I reached over and helped her massage her thigh. Fortunately, she appreciated it, but she also was from a culture that values touch and warmth. Later, I found my self worrying that somehow I could get in trouble!

As a nursing student, I often had children crawl into my lap, hug me, hold my hand and so forth, of their own accord. What is our society coming to if RNs have to fear showing affection to children?

In general, I agree. But some people don't like much touching.

And the person asking if the doctor was right to do physical exam - goes to show that very little physical exam takes place any more. So I hear.

I never, ever allow myself to be in a position of being alone with a patient of the opposite gender or with a minor - at work or anywhere. I never talk to kids, I try to never look at them. It is a very dangerous world we live in.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

On 10/11/2019 at 12:32 PM, Thanksforthedonuts said:

The Parenting culture has taken an unfortunate turn in this country...

That is the absolute understatement of the century!

[Thanksforthedonuts, BSN, RN]

1 hour ago, Kooky Korky said:

How could a pat, pat be interpreted as a beating?

Were you having other problems/complaints at work? Was Mom drunk or high or jealous or what? Was your boss insane?

There are many delusional parents now a days. Their child is the exception to every rule and they are always a victim.

[Tron8622]

Beaware their are some shady characters . Im a male so a high five or a popcicle is all I give lol . Yeah I would just get another job and BE aware people are nuts and will make all accusations to not PAY cheapskates . I remember I had a pt that needed emergency surgery with no insurance that didnt want a bill leave becuase she said I said something about not waking up from anesthesia . It wasnt even me it was the Anethesiologist lol . I told them it wasnt me I didnt have a hat and You and him signed the consent so ? lol

[Chris Traczyk]

I warned my husband when he became a nurse not to do anything that involves private areas on females unless there was another females employee present?

[Lorri Cook, ADN, RN]

I agree with GG66, you do not want your record to reflect "inappropriate touching", and get a referral to the best nurse-centric lawyer you can find, pronto.

I am also sorry this happened...I operate in a no-touch world just for this reason.

[KgAtlRN]

As a mom and a fellow nurse I’d have to say I wouldn’t appreciate a nurse doing this to my child especially touching their face. You can always use you words, let the parents soothe their child or ask permission first. I’m sure they complained but just didn’t express it to you, if it were me I would have probably said something as it occurred but not everyone is like that. I’m not sure about your job but we have policies about this they discourage it even if permission is given because of situations like this.

[CommunityRNBSN, BSN, RN]

On 10/11/2019 at 10:39 AM, CommunityRNBSN said:

[redopal]

I used touch a lot in. The ER. Getting down to kid level & a gentle touch o the shoulder to soothe is not inappropriate. If you were hugging or forcing a child to be touched who recoils, then that might be construed as inappropriate. Some Folks are very touchy about their bodies. You can always ask parents or if child is old enough ask him/her.