Surviving Nursing School and Marriage

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Just wondering how much nursing school has affected your marriage? Right now my husband and I are not getting along and a lot has to do with me in school and him working overnights so I can go to school (we have 2 kids and limited childcare). His sleep is compromised and I know I may have snapped once or twice, blah, blah, blah. But I'm really scared how this may turn out and will it be worth it in the end? I am trying to stay calm and balance school, kids, housework, sleep, you know being a mom and a student and add to that finance issues. Its a lot at one time. Any suggestions??

My husband has been excellent thus far, which is a huge change from any other time I've attempted school. The only down side is there are new state regulations required for his job which means mandatory school or he loses his job. I am trying hard to not be Whiney, but I put school on hold while he got his masters, so I had said, no more school until I'm done, and now I may just have to eat those words as he makes more money than I do.One thing he does to help since I also work full time and it's just. Ugh. Rough some days. He makes at least a weeks worth of meals and freezes them. Then all he has to do is toss something in the microwave for dinner. Could you help by doing something like that?

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Specializes in OR.

I feel your pain.. My fiancé and I got pregnant right before my junior year of nursing school. We moved in with my mom to save money sice I quit working to focus on school and my fiancé was the only one working and taking in a lot of caring for baby while I studied and went to school. My mother drove us both nuts we fought more than we have in the 6 years we've been together buth I can tell you it was all worth it! I graduated nursing school and with my income now we live comfortably and our relationship is stronger for all the stress we went through. Nursing school is a stressful experience and you need supportive people in your life to get you thru!

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Specializes in OR.
I feel your pain.. My fiancé and I got pregnant right before my junior year of nursing school. We moved in with my mom to save money sice I quit working to focus on school and my fiancé was the only one working and taking in a lot of caring for baby while I studied and went to school. My mother drove us both nuts we fought more than we have in the 6 years we've been together buth I can tell you it was all worth it! I graduated nursing school and with my income now we live comfortably and our relationship is stronger for all the stress we went through. Nursing school is a stressful experience and you need supportive people in your life to get you thru!

Please excuse my typos using my phone!

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Specializes in Cardiology, Cardiothoracic Surgical.

My partner and I sat down before I went back to school full time and discussed who would be doing what...

he does the cooking and grocery shopping, making most of the $$$, and I do the cleaning, laundry and pet care,

and the outside stuff when it needs it. I also work part time to keep my skills up in my current profession.

We bicker sometimes over money and stupid things like who left

the mayonaise out overnight, but in the end I remind him it's only x more months until graduation.

I would also reach out to your friends and any family in the area- the bigger your support network

is, the more guidance, help and strength you will receive.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

How have you handled stress in the marriage up to now?

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Well for me...we handle stress the good old fashion way...we talk..when we aren't communicating then we fight...that's how i know things are built up...

I've known my spouse for 15 years and we have been married 3 and a half years. I gave up a lot to be married ( moved to a state I hate, gave up a career). But things have worked out...I am about to do something I've wanted to do for years...be a nurse. So my spouse is giving up a lot too..

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Specializes in Oncology/hematology.

I am a first year student and have been married for almost 20 years. It was REALLY hard when I first went back to school. I had been a stay-at-home mom for 14 years, and my hubby and son were just used to the house being spotless and everything being done. I mean everything! Then, I spent 4 semesters getting all my prereqs done and the house fell apart. The boys did nothing and I was mad! They kept saying that once nursing school started, they'd be better. Well, they haven't.

But.....I had to realize that my standards were not their standards. The house will not fall apart if the vacuuming doesn't get done twice a week. In fact, if it gets done once a month, I can handle it. My hubby keeps telling me that as long as I'll do laundry, he'll get the rest accomplished, just on his schedule, not mine. I gave up control and am focusing on school, my health (exercise), their health (good meals) and am not worrying about anything else.

I think the key for you guys may be just trying to stay focused on the things that matter: your school, kids getting to school, everyone getting fed, time alone with hubby, kids activities, and forget the rest. If your friends don't see you, they'll live. If the laundry doesn't get folded and everyone has to wear wrinkled clothes, they'll live. If the grocery shopping is a day late and everyone has to eat canned soup, they'll live. (See where this is headed?) I hope you guys figure out what the problems are. It sucks, but it's temporary!

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But.....I had to realize that my standards were not their standards.

It's funny, at my house my husband has much higher standards than I do. The house looks SO much better than when I was a stay-at-home mom!

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We talked. Things are stable, but I need to watch what I say when I'm stressed. We both are stressed and for a long time we've been getting along but this last fight just threw things for a loop. We've handled stress before in our own ways. I've come to realize before I stress out I need to look at the whole picture. But yes theres the occasional panic attack. He internalizes things. What we both know is we are truly madly deeply in love with each other and as much as we want to run for the hills at times theres something that keeps us together. We are each others best friends. We've had a lot thrown at us in our marriage that we had to get through. Its more than other marriages have to go through or at least it seems that way. But I'm always afraid theres going to be that one thing that we wont get through. I've given up having a clean house, laundry can sit, I'll feed the dogs (which is what started the fight) and I am trying to keep dinner as simple and somewhat healthy. I am OCD and he's ADD. I know this is short term and it will be worth it in the end.

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Rubato, I had my standards too that I am trying to let go of :geek:

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Specializes in Oncology/hematology.
It's funny, at my house my husband has much higher standards than I do. The house looks SO much better than when I was a stay-at-home mom!

Well, then that's one thing you won't have to deal with. :)

That's good. I wish my hubby was cleaner. He just doesn't see the dirt, I guess.

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I'm starting my second year in a part time program. It's only part time and I cannot imagine how those of you will children and families manage a full time program.

We have 4 kids, I work 24 hrs a week, and my husband is a full time police officer. Sometimes I feel resentful cause I still have the majority of the household chores but I try to remind myself that he has a very stressful job.

It takes a lot of work and communication.

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