Support Stickie for New nurses who are not coping

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I have read through lot of threads recently regarding new nurses who feel they are struggling and not coping with being an new RN. So I thought it would be good to start a support thread where all new nurses could post about their feelings and experiences. You are not alone, all new nurses feel this way and if they dont I would be extreemly concerned.

I am so glad to see that I am not the only one feeling this way. I graduated with my ADN in May and have passed boards. I have worked on a Med/Peds floor since May 25th. I feel so overwhelmed all the time. My preceptor looks at me like I'm stupid when I don't know something. I want to say "Hello, I've only been out of school since May! I'm not going to know it all." I guess I am just too hard on myself. Like others have said, I hate feeling incompetent and wish things would start coming easier soon. Thanks for this thread! It has really encouraged me :)

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It's really funny how we complain while in nursing school, we spazz out over NCLEX, we gripe about not finding a job, then complain that there is too much work when we finally do get a job, then for those nurses who have been in the field for a long time, they complain about how unsatisfying their job is. FOR GOODNESS SAKES stop the moaning and groaning. If you are in a situation that you are not happy with then change your situation. I will not apologize if I hurt anyone's feelings with this post, suck it up, pay your dues until you can either get what you want or get a new career.

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It's really funny how we complain while in nursing school, we spazz out over NCLEX, we gripe about not finding a job, then complain that there is too much work when we finally do get a job, then for those nurses who have been in the field for a long time, they complain about how unsatisfying their job is. FOR GOODNESS SAKES stop the moaning and groaning. If you are in a situation that you are not happy with then change your situation. I will not apologize if I hurt anyone's feelings with this post, suck it up, pay your dues until you can either get what you want or get a new career.

I may have been a little harsh with my response earlier, however, I wish you all would let these experiences motivate you to do your best. Do not allow anyone's influence/bad attitude or your circumstances to place your dreams on hold or give up your dream career. It is because of us (new grads leaning on each other) why we will make it through. We just need to focus on the positive (as hard as it may be on some days) and try to roll with the punches as much as we can.

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I may have been a little harsh with my response earlier, however, I wish you all would let these experiences motivate you to do your best. Do not allow anyone's influence/bad attitude or your circumstances to place your dreams on hold or give up your dream career. It is because of us (new grads leaning on each other) why we will make it through. We just need to focus on the positive (as hard as it may be on some days) and try to roll with the punches as much as we can.

It's okay to share your feelings. Not all thoughts or feelings are positive. This is a thread where it does need to be okay to do just that.

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Well, it happened again. I am up in the middle of the night, worried that perhaps I missed something on a patient from two days ago. I was off yesterday (yeah - it was a terrific day!) and have to go back in less than five hours. I should be in bed, getting plenty of sleep, but instead I am wide awake ... worrying since I was gone yesterday they've realized what a complete fraud I am.

I hate this feeling of incompetence and am making plans on leaving, but I have only been there 6 months. I am trying my hardest to stick it out another 6 months because: (1) the thought of being a new grad failure statistic is embarrassing, (2) I feel I owe the unit since they invested so much in me and I am so grateful to even have found a new graduate position, (3) I want my "1 year of experience," (4) I don't want to pay them any separation money, (5) I hate feeling like a failure, and (6) I keep hoping it will get better.

If it doesn't get better, though, I may just have to go early. My husband is supportive of whatever I choose.

I just want to be able to fall back asleep and be refreshed for my next shift.

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Specializes in Dialysis.

What a blessing to have found this today. I too was at the top of my class, Dean's list, aced clinicals, second degree student. Didn't sleep for about three years between work and class. I passed NCLEX-RN last week (yay!) and have been working as a graduate nurse on a busy dialysis unit since June. I love my unit and the staff- just about everyone is super nice and supportive, plus I have a great mentor, but I still feel a little lost and overwhelmed. There are many days where I just sit in the car and cry after work before I start the 45 minute drive home. I've made mistakes, none life threatening but still, I felt horrible and incompetent. I feel like I'm dragging down the whole flow of the day and can feel my patients glaring at me when I'm not as fast or proficient as the experienced staff at fairly routine tasks. I'm forgetting simple things and it's really frustrating me. Everyone says I'm doing "great" but I certainly don't feel great. I'm on edge all the time and can't seem to catch up on my sleep. I never thought nursing would be easy but this is a serious learning curve. There are only about three weeks left of my orientation, which doesn't seem like quite enough. My head is spinning, and I'm hoping it really will all "click" like everyone says it will. I'm trying to hang in there and take it day by day.

Hugs to all us newbie nurses. We don't give ourselves enough love! :redbeathe :nurse:

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I just stumbled onto this...oh have there been days when I just didn't want to get up and go to work. After being a Registered Nurse for 8 months, I sometimes feel overwhlemed and stressed out. I work in Family Practice for ten doctors. There are only three RN's in the clinic and two LPN's and the rest are MA's. About two months ago, I applied for a job in the Pain and Spine clinic and of course my supervisor found out. Thankfuly she was not upset with me but at the same time she did not guide me through my unhappiness. My doctor works in the same area as I do and he was told by a mutual friend that I was very unhappy and that I was looking for another job. He asked me about this and I told him why I was so miserable.

The real reason for my unhappiness what the fact that I was not acting as a "real nurse" because I was constanly being pulled in many directions. One day I was acting as a case manager and doing my job as well as, phone triage, transport to hospitals, and doing whatever the doctors needed at that percise moment. Other days I just roomed patients for a particular doctor and did all their messages - which is quite a bit.

I go home some nights exhausted and frustrated because I can't get all the work done that is required of me. In fact, I take home my frustrations and unhappiness with me and take it out my family member. I have had to drop my membership to the gym because I have not haad time after work to go there because I am about to collapse from sheer exhaustion. Also, I have spent many nights worrying about what I did and didn't do that day. I find it really hard to unwind at the end of the day. Thankfully, I love to read but somtimes that does not help me much and I have fretful nights and the next day I am tired from lack of sleep.

To end this thread on a positive note - my duties will be changing and hopefully for the better. Rather than working for 8 doctors I will be working for only two. One them happens to be my own doctor. He is going to take me under his wing and help guide me in career. So I am looking forward to a new step in my career.

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I have found a lot of comfort in this thread. I am a new grad who graduated in may, passed boards in june, and started working in a moderately busy ICU at the end of june. I was an extern in this ICU before graduating and so I was a little more prepared than the average new grad and felt pretty confident throughout the first 2/3 of my orientation. I now have only 2 weeks left and my confidence is definitely shaken. I haven't made any mistakes with meds or patient care, but yesterday I made a mistake when putting in an order. They are put in electronically, and due to budget cuts our ICU and CCU share one secretary, which means we have to put in a lot of orders ourselves. I had all of a sudden become very busy with doctors wanting me to do a million things at one time and I entered a chest xray for the wrong patient. That patient had an xray ordered anyway so it didn't end up being a huge deal, but knowing how easy that mistake was to make and how big of a mistake it could have been scares the tar out of me. I have been nauseated since it happened, have barely eaten anything, and am terrified that I am going to make more simple mistakes that end up causing huge problems. I've only got two weeks left and the pressure I feel is huge!

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So I'm just passed the one year mark as being an RN and I just want everyone to know it gets better. I don't know many nurses you felt competent their first year. Some days I still don't. Many of us spend night laying wondering what did i forget? did i remember to say that in report? Its a stressful job. We have peoples lives in our hands. I would be more concerned if I wasnt laying awake wondering these things. The most important thing to remember is to never be afraid to ask questions. I would rather look dumb for asking a question someone might think i should already know the answer to, than make a mistake. But know you will make mistakes, hopefully just little non-life threatening mistakes, but mistakes nonetheless. You learn from them and move on. Don't let others tear you down, especially those nurses who like to "eat their young" as they say.

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I am so glad to have found this thread. I relocated for a new grad job and I HATE it. I dread going back and I leave crying most days. It is very cliquey and I dont know anyone here so on top of being totally stressed out about work 24/7 I am also feeling lonely. I cant sleep before my shift, and I get sick to my stomach. I am nauseus through most of my shift. I have no support at all, if I ask for help I get a snarky response and made to feel like an idiot. I dont feel like I am capable of really handling 6+ patients on my own! The staff turnover is very high,but I am not in a position to quit. I spend my days off dreading my next shift, I cant sleep without having bad dreams about work. I have found that working 3 shifts back to back helps a little, I can get the same patients, but it is exhausting and if the first shift is bad, the whole 3 shifts can be crazy. I can feel like the shift went ok and as soon as I give report I get chewed out then have to hear them all snickering about me. I dont know if I am going to make it. I never wanted to do med surg, I really want to give Psych a try.

I just dont know if I can make it to 6 months or a year. I am trying. I am taking one day at a time right now.

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Specializes in LTC, Med-Surg, Hospice.

Dear BettyBoop01,

My first thoughts are: you have a sense of play about you, and you chose the # "1" which tells me you strive to achieve~! Establishing one's self as a new nurse is critical in the first year. It requires empowerment on your part. Knowledge = power; time & experience = confidence. There is a book in print entitled "The Everything New Nurse Book" by Kathy Quan, RN, BSN, PHN. You can order it via the web @ www.adamsmedia.com. While a lot of the material is review, there are many pointers. Be gentle to you, alter your perception of your work environment, be mindful of why you decided to become a nurse. The confidence will come as you gain experience. I've no doubt you have what it takes to be on Med-Surg; afterall, you made it through nursing school and you passed your Boards~! That being said, try to take a focused approach to patient care. Apply those 'critical thinking' skills not only to your nursing practice, but also where your colleagues are concerned. Each and every nurse you are working with, has been in your shoes, and indeed survived. Sometimes a gentle reminder can go a long way. If you are 'getting chewed out in report' - empower yourself~! Take a look at what is being stated, the tenor and demeanor of the nurse. Is it a 'nurses eat their young' type gratification? If so, take some really deep breaths, desensitize, take from the lesson what is beneficial and let go of the rest. You have major adjustments on your plate, i.e., you've relocated to accept the position for one. You're on a med-surg unit for another. You may be cut off from a support base as well. Consider the following: what can you do to affect positive change on a shift-by-shift basis? Can you incorporate humour when you feel under attack? What can you do, when under pressure, to refocus in the circumstance? Acceptance comes with time and perhaps a 'few nibbles just because". Empower yourself with the knowledge that you have something substantial to contribute. Focus on patient care vs. winning the approval and acceptance of those nurses you work with. Afterall, you're not in nursing to win out a 'personality' contest. If you are unsure and want to pose a question, change your approach. For example, you might say " {Nurse} Elly, I value your input, tell me what you think about...?". If you appear ill-confident and unsure, then you leave the field wide open. Remember the commercial "never let 'em see you sweat"? Hang tough, you CAN do it. What you are unsure of, review and recheck. Think before you speak. When you do speak, speak with articulation, confidence and authority. You state you 'don't think you're capable of handling six+ patients on your own'. Why are you feeling as such? What do you base this on? Newness to the profession? How can you effectively rally support during a shift, ask for help effectively, and go home feeling good about the given shift, not to mention being a nurse?

Apply your psych knowledge and skill in your present venue. Regroup and apply the nursing process to your working environment. If, after careful consideration, you feel med-surg simply isn't for you, explore other possibilities with your employer. You sold yourself during the interview and landed the job right? You've no doubt a lot going for you, be you and be upbeat. You are not a 'victim' and while you may be vulnerable with unsure footing, that footing will strengthen with time. Seek out a mentor if one is available and communicate with this individual often. Taking it one shift at a time is wise. Three shifts in a row is not. Seek a healthy balance in the day-to-day. When you are not working, what are you doing that is good for you? There's more in a day than just what you do as a vocation. What you do as a vocation, is not necessarily who you are inside. Shine from within and celebrate you, your achievements. Look to the future, set short-term and long-range goals and put your plan into action. You'll get there with time, patience and perserverence. Weakness is NOT in your vocabulary. Success is~!

With every best wish, I am - and Happy Thanksgiving~!

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Dear Betty Boop - I promise you, it gets better! I posted in August how awful I was feeling and while I still feel like a "fraud" at times, other times I know I am making a difference. I am at the 9 month mark now and I while the idea of going in still makes me nervous, I found a couple of times where I looked forward to it. Weird!! My main problem nowis waking up too early and rehashing everything in my mind before I go back in. Like you, I like having 3 days on in a row.

I know this is not the long-term unit for me, but I think I can make it for a while *and* learn a lot, too.

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