Support Stickie for New nurses who are not coping

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I have read through lot of threads recently regarding new nurses who feel they are struggling and not coping with being an new RN. So I thought it would be good to start a support thread where all new nurses could post about their feelings and experiences. You are not alone, all new nurses feel this way and if they dont I would be extreemly concerned.

I had my manager tell me after two weeks on her floor that I had to start on my own because they were short and didnt have time to orient me anymore. I told her I wasnt ready and she said "you better get ready" I felt betrayed because that is not what they told me when I got hired. Hmmmmmmmm?????

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Reading these comments make me realise I'm not alone. I am really unsure whether I should continue with nursing. I am really struggling. I work on a HDU. Just being in it stresses me out with all the monitors and tracheostomies. This, combined with my inability to prioritise (or at times even follow what is going on with my patients through the day - this is really bad). When I give report there is no structure. I ramble about silly things and miss pertinent facts to the situation. This may be because of this weird mental block I have. Or the fact that I didn't even pick up on it in the first place.

Today, I took a patient (late) to MRI. Complete with bangles, gold rings, and a metal hair clip. The staff on the MRI unit started laying into me for obvious reasons. Then, I could not get the bangles off because of the IV access in her hand! Eventually, I managed and had to work on getting the rings off. MRI were being plain nasty. Then, they asked me for the MRI checklist... and I realised it was still on the ward, clipped onto the bedside chart :( I had been so preoccupied collecting cardiac monitor, airways, ambu bag, suction, oxygen etc to take this very unwell patient off the ward that I did not even bring it. I was preoccupied with the fact that I would be alone with a HDU patient and I would not cope. I don't know why I was bothering taking all that stuff when I barely know how to use it.

This is all coming on the back of a massive panic attack I had during a video-taped critical care simulation. I nearly could not face going back to work because of the humiliation at how badly I messed up. I burst into tears as soon as I got home. I am a grown man. My father called and he could hear the misery in my voice.

I don't sleep, I just worry myself sick. If I sleep, I wake in a fright at 2.30am. I can't get back to sleep and lay there waiting for morning to come. The lighter it gets outside my window, the closer my shift. Then, the alarm goes off and it's time to go.

I am on sleeping tablets but even that isn't enough to keep me sleeping well. When I have a day off the next day, I end up sleeping as soon as I get in. Like I can finally relax and sleeeeep without having to go in the next day. Then, the night before a shift, I am tense and sometimes do not sleep at all. Not a wink.

I constantly try to remind myself of the pay check at the end of the month, to give myself a reason to keep going with this career. It feels like I have thrown my life away, like I am in a living hell/nightmare. I can't imagine other jobs expecting so much from a person. I just feel I am clutching at straws and I just don't "get it". I also look like a nervous wreck, especially during that simulation.

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Specializes in OB, Peds, Med Surg and Geriatric Nsg.

I've been reading this forum for quite awhile now though I never had the chance to take a peek on this support stickie. And thank God for someone starting this thread. I've been posting a few vents in this section and had been receiving great amount of kind words, support and encouragement though it doesn't seem like all of the things I'm feeling go away. I fell in love with nursing the moment I started nursing school and became a L&D nurse after passing my local boards in the Philippines. Now that I moved here in the US and became a USRN, everything seemed to change. I'm beginning to hate it or I don't know if this is what I want. I love being around my patients, giving compassionate care and attention. But I question my nursing judgement at all times. LTC is way different from L&D. I feel like a failure everyday and that I'm not living up to my patient's and the management's expectations. I try to be positive at times and come home full of negativism. I had no idea that nursing can bring so much stress in my life. Should I leave nursing? Find a new job? Or move into another nursing specialty? Please advise..

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Specializes in Med Surg: Pulmonary & Renal.

Giving good report - there isn't a good report everyone agrees on.

* who is the patient and reason he/she here

* what's been done / what is left to do

* latest vitals if you have it

* latest labs if you have it.

Hang in there. We are doing the best job on the planet (along with parenting and teaching).

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Now that it is June the next year, are you feeling any better? Any more confident? I graduated last June and had a rough time transitioning and just when I finally started to feel relatively OK about things, I have a bad night. RT extubated my patient while I was on the phone with the resident asking when they wanted to extubate, wanted blood gases, etc. and I get off the phone, walk over to the bedside and see that it has already been done (without the order). The RT said that she saw me getting stuff ready so she thought "it was time." Well, I always get stuff ready in advance because I've had too many times where people just walk up and pull tubes. So I feel that even though it wasn't my fault, I get blamed for it. I have had problems with this particular resident anyway and then later, I get yelled at by a doc because she said she told me that a person had to wait 2 hours to leave the unit (while I was covering his primary nurse's lunch break) and I did not pass that on to his nurse...I can not for the life of me remember her saying anything to me about it--we were in the middle of putting in a chest tube at the time, so maybe she said it but I just didn't hear her or was too focused on the task or something but anyway, I left feeling like a total idiot and now I'm afraid that not only do I have to deal with my own insecurities but maybe other people think I'm a complete idiot and can't be trusted to do my job. The worst thing is that I try so hard! And incidentally, all the patients were fine, nothing bad happened to anybody, but still...it really makes my own self-doubt even worse. And I get sick at the thought of going in every day. I just keep telling myself that it takes time and it will pass...and that this is a good exercise in faith. It forces me to really depend on God and not myself. The sad thing is that I was a top student and do have life and job experience...I never even feel like myself anymore.

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"I don't sleep, I just worry myself sick. If I sleep, I wake in a fright at 2.30am. I can't get back to sleep and lay there waiting for morning to come. The lighter it gets outside my window, the closer my shift. Then, the alarm goes off and it's time to go.

I am on sleeping tablets but even that isn't enough to keep me sleeping well. When I have a day off the next day, I end up sleeping as soon as I get in. Like I can finally relax and sleeeeep without having to go in the next day. Then, the night before a shift, I am tense and sometimes do not sleep at all. Not a wink.

I constantly try to remind myself of the pay check at the end of the month, to give myself a reason to keep going with this career. It feels like I have thrown my life away, like I am in a living hell/nightmare. I can't imagine other jobs expecting so much from a person. I just feel I am clutching at straws and I just don't "get it". I also look like a nervous wreck, especially during that simulation."

I know what you mean. I've been there and sometimes I still am. I find myself not wanting to go to bed (even though I know I need to) because I'm afraid that the faster I fall asleep, if I do, then the faster morning will come and then I'll be back there again. You are definitely not alone.

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Specializes in ED, ICU, lifetime Diabetes Education.
I left feeling like a total idiot and now I'm afraid that not only do I have to deal with my own insecurities but maybe other people think I'm a complete idiot and can't be trusted to do my job. The worst thing is that I try so hard! And incidentally, all the patients were fine, nothing bad happened to anybody, but still...it really makes my own self-doubt even worse. And I get sick at the thought of going in every day. I just keep telling myself that it takes time and it will pass...and that this is a good exercise in faith. It forces me to really depend on God and not myself. The sad thing is that I was a top student and do have life and job experience...I never even feel like myself anymore.

I could have written this same thing.

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When I have a day off the next day, I end up sleeping as soon as I get in. Like I can finally relax and sleeeeep without having to go in the next day. Then, the night before a shift, I am tense and sometimes do not sleep at all. Not a wink.

LoneRN,

Thank you for putting in words what I have been living/feeling. I am on a week 7 of 12 for orientation on a tele unit and I wave up at 4am the morning before having to go in - so not only am I stressed out, but I am exhausted. I love going to bed when I have off the next day.

Yesterday was a rough day and I actually cried in the bathroom. I hate feeling incompetent.

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This thread is encouraging to read...I'm not alone! I do feel somewhat alone in this though- I am a new grad and the mother to two young children (ages 1 and 4). I've been blessed to be working in a teaching hospital with great training and supportive experienced nurses behind me. The transition to being a full-fledged RN has been overwhelming on occasion but for the most part not too bad.

My biggest issue is that I constantly miss my kids. When I have my days off I am depressed knowing that the next day or the day after I will not see them at all. Sometimes I get panicky thinking about going back to work, feeling torn from my family. Then my shifts just drag on.

However in this economy and with the job market so tough for new grads, it would be foolish for me to give up this opportunity. I'm trying to fake it till I make I guess, and hope that I can make the adjustment psychologically before I have a breakdown and walk off the unit one day to go be with my babies.

I know I sound like a crazy mother. I am hoping there is another new grad who feels this way!

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I miss my kids , my sleep and my confidence. I have none. I was totally insulted by my trainer today several times and I know that she has to train me.. but she said.. I wish you would be less nervous. It was my first day with patients and I was completely overwhelmed. I screwed up in the med room drawing up a diluted IV push med. Again it was my first day doing medications too and I was top student and already passed my boards. She also told me that I need to have more confidence in speaking up to doctors and other health providers. I was so cut down before I even began. I certainly have confidence in my abilities but I just cried my eyes out. All these posts here are me. My kids are depending on me to do this job and provide for them but I feel like I am in such fear and constant intimidation. I was told I am to work every other weekend and put on 12 hour shift already and I really don't mind it but it was never mentioned this soon. I started last week. I certainly love being a nurse and I have a lifetime of experience and I am in school for my MSN. I asked my trainer how long some of the other people had been there as I told her that they looked very competent and relaxed. She said that we are all calm people.. and I felt totally insulted again. this was my first day, I got up at 2am because of nerves. I have to drive an hour away and I get there early every time to review assignment sheets but they didn't arrive until almost 7am. I felt totally unprepared for my shift and I feel totally awkward about report. I certainly hope it improves. I felt like because I was so unsure of myself, they are totally disappointed in me. Now this is an amazing unit with amazing and very helpful staff and mangers. It is a very high intense care floor but I feel like I cant post the location out of fear should my trainer read this. I am so discouraged and sad I have already failed before I begin. I don't know what to do. This has just got to get better. How can I relax when they are insulting me and talking to me like I am an idiot. I am so taking my B6.. as PMS is coming up any day now. I know I will be ok on the floor.. its when I hit my car and home, I start crying a river. I am a beautiful and confident educated woman. I have to be in bed by 8.. and i never see my kids. I am so not coping and to make it worse, I am in middle of divorce but at this point I'd consider staying with my husband just to try to have some support in my new crazy life because if I thought my marriage was stressful, it is a piece of heaven compared to carrying around these feelings of inadequacy.

:crying2:

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I miss my kids , my sleep and my confidence. I have none. I was totally insulted by my trainer today several times and I know that she has to train me.. but she said.. I wish you would be less nervous. It was my first day with patients and I was completely overwhelmed. I screwed up in the med room drawing up a diluted IV push med. Again it was my first day doing medications too and I was top student and already passed my boards. She also told me that I need to have more confidence in speaking up to doctors and other health providers. I was so cut down before I even began. I certainly have confidence in my abilities but I just cried my eyes out. All these posts here are me. My kids are depending on me to do this job and provide for them but I feel like I am in such fear and constant intimidation. I was told I am to work every other weekend and put on 12 hour shift already and I really don't mind it but it was never mentioned this soon. I started last week. I certainly love being a nurse and I have a lifetime of experience and I am in school for my MSN. I asked my trainer how long some of the other people had been there as I told her that they looked very competent and relaxed. She said that we are all calm people.. and I felt totally insulted again. this was my first day, I got up at 2am because of nerves. I have to drive an hour away and I get there early every time to review assignment sheets but they didn't arrive until almost 7am. I felt totally unprepared for my shift and I feel totally awkward about report. I certainly hope it improves. I felt like because I was so unsure of myself, they are totally disappointed in me. Now this is an amazing unit with amazing and very helpful staff and mangers. It is a very high intense care floor but I feel like I cant post the location out of fear should my trainer read this. I am so discouraged and sad I have already failed before I begin. I don't know what to do. This has just got to get better. How can I relax when they are insulting me and talking to me like I am an idiot. I am so taking my B6.. as PMS is coming up any day now. I know I will be ok on the floor.. its when I hit my car and home, I start crying a river. I am a beautiful and confident educated woman. I have to be in bed by 8.. and i never see my kids. I am so not coping and to make it worse, I am in middle of divorce but at this point I'd consider staying with my husband just to try to have some support in my new crazy life because if I thought my marriage was stressful, it is a piece of heaven compared to carrying around these feelings of inadequacy.

:crying2:

Your first day -- sheesh! Of course you feel like a wreck today, and of course it will get better.

Your precepter is an idiot to expect you to be calm on your first day, assertive with doctors no less... it will all come. Report will get easier. You'll figure out who among the staff are helpful and supportive to go to with questions, even if your preceptor never is. If it doesn't get better and the rest of the staff and managers on the unit really are better, I'd talk to the manager about trying to switch preceptors to someone that will actually help you learn how to be a better nurse, not just insult you.

Read back through your post and realize all you have accomplished -- top student, passed boards, working on a MSN, you love being a nurse, got a job as a new grad on an intense floor with high acuity patients... you can handle this. And the best part is -- you already knew that.

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Specializes in Med Surg.

New grad. NINE MONTHS into it on a gen med surg floor. and still feel like im clueless sometimes..does it ever end??? I have episodes of depression before I have to come to work and feel a TREMENDOUS amount of relief when I get to leave! I dont feel like this is what a career should be.

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