Support Stickie for New nurses who are not coping

sparketteinok · Mar 18, 2009

All I can say is keep going back. Keep showing up every day.

You will find your way, and you will learn how to cope. You just have to keep going back.

rabbitgirrl · Mar 18, 2009

I am also a new grad, I was wondering what others have found helpful in surviving being a new grad. Maybe we could all come up with a list of coping strategies as new grads.
I also wanted to know if anyone knows a good way to not look as freaked out as we actually feel. I know from many past experiences that when I am anxious it is written all over me and it is so obvious. On my first day of orientation half way through my orientation shift the Educator asked me if I wanted to go home because I looked overwhelmed. And yes I was overwhelmed but I knew if I left early, I would never come back. I ended up sticking through the shift and I did survive.
I just want to learn how to hide my fear a bit better. Any suggestions?

I, too had this problem (and occasionally still do).

The only thing that helped me was to think of someone(s) who you look up to as completely capable, for me it was my aunt and another nurse, but it could be a movie role or anyone who exudes competence and confidence. Then, I would pretend I was them.

Soon, I would be issuing quick, confident instructions to patients and their families. "Sit down. Not until 6:00. That will be a problem for you if you continue to do it. If you can scream, you can breathe. I don't know, but I will find out. Stop biting me. Now."

Remember: it may take a while, but things WILL get better. One foot in front of the other, things will be O.K.

Mahage, LPN · Mar 18, 2009

I, too had this problem (and occasionally still do).
Soon, I would be issuing quick, confident instructions to patients and their families. "Sit down. Not until 6:00. That will be a problem for you if you continue to do it. If you can scream, you can breathe. I don't know, but I will find out. Stop biting me. Now."
Remember: it may take a while, but things WILL get better. One foot in front of the other, things will be O.K.

Great response! I love it! Mahage

dsoginer · Mar 19, 2009

I found out that the two calmest nurses on the floor are on Prozac.

ivyrn, BSN, MSN, NP · Mar 27, 2009

:cry:OMG!! and to think that I cried out all my tears last night... I am sooooo happy that I not only finally signed up as a new member, but finding this post has helped me to know that I am not the only one here, there, or any where going thru this new RN, feeling incompetent even though I know I'm smart (I have the other degree and grades to prove it), and confidence issues. I graduated from nursing school in 2007 and did not start working as a RN till late 2008 due to some issues w/ boards and everything else life seems to throw at you at the same time. To prove that I was indeed worthy to be a RN I chose to start in a very, very hard and stressful place... the PICU!!! I knew that I could do it, until my first day over 2 months ago.... I was a new RN one year removed so basically I came off the streets into the unit and my 1st preceptor was still a neo herself w/ only like 2 years experience! Totally wrong in my opinion to be placed w/ her being that I had no confidence in myself and my abilities in the first place. When complaining my educators told me to be patient w/ her b/c it was her first time orienting a new student. So like the dummy I was I waited and suffered for about 6 weeks till I got with my 2nd preceptor who was as dry as ever... expressing not one single emotion for anything and everything I did was either wrong or just not good enough b/c it wasn't the way he wanted to do things. He practically had nothing nice to say about me or my abilities telling my educators basically I was not good enough to be in the PICU:cry:. Whereas everyone else I worked w/ gave me rave reviews at that point in my orientation. My educators basically had heard enough and in so many words and body language wanted me off their unit! I didn't give a crap what they thought b/c I knew I had been giving my all and all and Rome was surely not built in one day or 2 months in the matter so I kept it moving on!!! I finally got set up w/ my 3rd preceptor who is an "angel on earth":redbeathe I love her sooo much for keeping the faith in me and for me! I will admit like the others I have cried sooo many tears and can't really sleep not a single wink. I understand how you feel when you say asking ?s and the "seasoned" RNs look like your sooo stupid and you don't ever wanna speak again. Or the you don't know that by now look. I just want things to get better and be the RN I know that I can be... My confidence level is high and low... I still don't feel good enough:cry:

Valerie Salva, BSN, RN · Mar 27, 2009

Thanks so much for starting this thread. I started in IMCU on May 19th and passed my boards on June 30th. I'm working 7p to 7a and 7a to 7p, flipping every other week. I have so many shifts when I just want to not come back! It's an awful feeling, especially since being an RN is all I ever wanted to do. With all the paperwork, I don't think I give my patients nearly the time they need. Does anyone else feel that way and will it get better?

Most nurses feel this way, not just new ones. I've been a nurse for 18 years, and still feel like this daily. That's nursing.

oramar · Apr 5, 2009

Thanks for starting this thread!! It is so appropriate for me.... I graduated in May, passed boards in June and started working in a high level SICU as a new grad. I have never been so overwhelmed in my life. I am a 2nd career nurse, and did very well in school. I was so far over my head. The other nurses liked me and most were extremely kind and helpful.-they are called the baracudas of the hospital, though...it was just way to much for a new grad with NO nursiing/hospital experience. I couln't eat or sleep...myy husband would almost have to make me go to work. then I'd come home crying. finally I went to my nurse manager - who is incredible and she brought me to her good friend's floor for a 3 month "detail". Kinda help me get more comfortable with basic skills - and then come back to SICU...MMMM I miss it sometimes, but I am in love with my new floor. It fits me like a glove and its so much less stresss than ICU ...I mean it can get busy too, just not all the time crises. Anway, I can't tell you how much this has meant to me and my sanity. I'm not sure I'll ever want to go back to the old floor.

Two thumbs up to this manager. If you only knew how few would do this. They just lose people, don't know why, don't care why. Go out and get another nurse. They don't seem to realize that being tuned into the mental state of their staff is part of their job.

PeaceonearthRN · Apr 5, 2009

Two thumbs up to this manager. If you only knew how few would do this. They just lose people, don't know why, don't care why. Go out and get another nurse. They don't seem to realize that being tuned into the mental state of their staff is part of their job.

Yes. This works much better then allowing the 'seasoned' nurses whether they are supportive or not to dictate your path. Managers can have memory loss and forget that no matter how old an individual is, whether it is a second career nurse or whatever else the issues is, IT IS THEIR JOB TO BE THERE FOR THE NEW EMPLOYEE~ I hope i NEVER do these things to a new nurse.

lake123 · Apr 6, 2009

I have been a RN for almost 7 months and I have had one of the worst days of my career. I need help! I know I had only 5 pts but!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They were; a confused pt for 3 units of blood, 2 surgery pts, 1 pt constantly needing you every 15minutes for everything, a very sick 3 month old girl with a gtube and O2.and 3 blown IV's. I stayed after my shift 3 hours just to get my paperwork done. That is wrong. I need desperately some tips on how to prioritize these pts with assessments, post op care, charting, pain meds, doctors, etc. Do I check on all my pts, leave each room, chart assessm. then and move on? I am so scared I will give up on a career that I really like because of feeling overwhelmed. I believe each of my pts deserve my undivided attention when I am in there. I need advice from anyone: cheat sheets, report sheets, funny jokes, anything. The threat of being sued d/t lack of documentation is so thrust down our throats..I feel I document more than I give care. HELP!!!!!!!! :banghead:

shir-bur · Apr 9, 2009

Thanks for this chance to vent. I too am a new nurse, I graduated in May, passed boards in June, worked on the Ortho floor, blew out a disk in my neck, had to have surgery, was out of work 3 1/2 months. So, now I feel like a new nurse all over again. I mean, sometimes I look at the patients labs and I don't even know what I'm looking at. I give out my meds, and I don't even know what most of them are for, or how to tell if my patients are having an adverse reaction. I have from 6-8 patients a night, on my own. And heaven help you if you ask a question, because I'm always told, "You should know how to do that, you did pass boards, right". If I knew this is what it was going to be like, I just don't think I would have become a nurse, even though it was a life long dream.

madwife2002, BSN, RN · Apr 9, 2009

Thanks for this chance to vent. I too am a new nurse, I graduated in May, passed boards in June, worked on the Ortho floor, blew out a disk in my neck, had to have surgery, was out of work 3 1/2 months. So, now I feel like a new nurse all over again. I mean, sometimes I look at the patients labs and I don't even know what I'm looking at. I give out my meds, and I don't even know what most of them are for, or how to tell if my patients are having an adverse reaction. I have from 6-8 patients a night, on my own. And heaven help you if you ask a question, because I'm always told, "You should know how to do that, you did pass boards, right". If I knew this is what it was going to be like, I just don't think I would have become a nurse, even though it was a life long dream. How

why is it that some experience nurses say such stupid things as "you should know how to do that, you did pass boards right?' this makes my blood boil. Just because you passed the boards does not mean you know everything and anybody who believes that is downright dangerous in my opinion. After 20yrs in the nursing profession I sometimes still ask another nurse for clarification of a task if I have not performed it for a long period of time. The safety of the patients is paramount and if you dont know what you are doing you should be able to ask for help and advice from other collegues period.

I think 6-8 pts per shift is a lot of responsibility and I admire you for having the courage and fortitude to carry out care.

I started a thread on know it all nurses just couldnt resist

https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-discussion/know-all-nurses-383662.html

Mahage, LPN · Apr 9, 2009

Thanks for this chance to vent. I too am a new nurse, I graduated in May, passed boards in June, worked on the Ortho floor, blew out a disk in my neck, had to have surgery, was out of work 3 1/2 months. So, now I feel like a new nurse all over again. I mean, sometimes I look at the patients labs and I don't even know what I'm looking at. I give out my meds, and I don't even know what most of them are for, or how to tell if my patients are having an adverse reaction. I have from 6-8 patients a night, on my own. And heaven help you if you ask a question, because I'm always told, "You should know how to do that, you did pass boards, right". If I knew this is what it was going to be like, I just don't think I would have become a nurse, even though it was a life long dream.

That is just plain mean for anyone to make that statement. I have had a few jerks too and learned to not go to them for advice. I quickyl picked out the ones that I could trust and go to them. Someone gives me an attitude I give it back. I have one charge who makes statements like "I don't have time for anymore questions!" My response is....this is improtant and it is your job. She does give good info since she has learned that I can come back at her. The other jerk is just critical and I try to avoid even working when she is in charge because I don't feel I have decent backup. We have self scheduling and I usually wait till she has put herself on the book or the charges that I like have put themselves on the books. I also work with a lot of good people who don't hesitate to help and then there are others......... I have also learned not to extend myself to help the ones who will never help me, even when asked directly. I love my job and I hate to have to let the "cabeetche" in me come out, but I have learned it is essential in this work. :angryfireI honor my "inner cabeetche," LOL! :yeah:I am just determined that it will NOT come out toward the newbies or someone, anyone who honestly needs my help or back up as long as they have been decent or even indifferent to me. I can and do help a lot of my coworkers. I am pretty darn good with time management now, a long way from perfect though. I tend to get "bumfuzzled" when I have a patient with issues I am unfamiliar with going bad or am faced with assisting docs in a proceedure I have never been in. When my good charges are there, NO PROBLEM, they help me through it, but it is a night mare when one of them is there. I really feel my job and worse yet my license are in danger when I have to turn to her for backup, so I pray a lot that nothing will go wrong when I am working under her charge. So I am 1 year and 5 months out in my job except taking off 5 weeks for surgery and things are loads better. I have learned pretty well to take the bumps and the kinks in stride, but as I said there are certain things that really throw me, but the second go around I know what to do and am not nearly as likely to get shook.

Just know that once you get some of these experiences under your belt, you will be able to handle more and more. It is amazing how a night like I had a few nights ago would have been devastating at 6-8 months out, but it was all in all a pretty good night and I was only 30 minutes late getting out. Started off with having to clear out literally about 25 visitors with one patient and then a mentally disturbed family member going off on me no sooner than I stepped in the room (after I got it cleared out). Then I literally had 3 spinal cord injury patients, one who was a quad but felt pain and had to reporsition his head, hands, legs, every few minutes, going to surgery in am, a lap choley who had diarrhea, a little old lady who had multiple fractures and one of the spinal cord injury had multple fx ribs. They ALL needed multiple pain meds. Good thing was noone went bad. No emergency proceedures and I was on the south end where we have 5-6 patients. Of course I had 5 and my coworkers only had 4, but heck whose complaining. They were both really good coworkers!

It does get better hon! Hang in there.

Mahage