Support Stickie for New nurses who are not coping

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I have read through lot of threads recently regarding new nurses who feel they are struggling and not coping with being an new RN. So I thought it would be good to start a support thread where all new nurses could post about their feelings and experiences. You are not alone, all new nurses feel this way and if they dont I would be extreemly concerned.

Specializes in Pediatrics.

This is my first post ever on allnurses.com... I've been off orientation for 2 weeks now and I'm questioning whether or not I can handle this job after all. Because I'm new it still takes me a long time to do things, and I try to take my time so I don't make mistakes- but then I get behind and get stressed out, and if anything out of the ordinary happens with my pts, I get really nervous and stressed. Lots of times I leave work and cry in my car on the way home.. little things set me off at home, and I dissolve into this pile of tears... then I lay awake stressing out about things I forgot to do that day, and worry about things that might happen at work the next day...

Luckily the other nurses on my floor are really supportive. And when I have a good day, my confidence does come up and I feel better, but I still feel this stress surrounding me constantly. Is this going to go away with time? Because I don't think I can take a lifetime of this...

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Specializes in cardiac, psychiatric emergency, rehab.

As long as the other nurses remain supportive and ARE not hostile towards you when you make an error, stick to it! It is the nastyness, petty b.s. and hostility that makes most people run for the hills!@

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Specializes in Psych, Med-Surg.

I feel the same way. I have supportive coworkers (which makes all of the difference) but just as I felt that horrible dread starting to diminish, it came back. I'm now on my 6th month of med-surg. I had been starting to get into a routine, then had 2 bad weeks. Now I really don't want to go back. But everyone says it gets better around 6 months to a year. Getting a calendar and marking off the days I already worked showed me that I am able to do this.

I had planned to leave between 6 months and a year to do another type of nursing. But the economy is so bad I almost don't want to risk it. Good luck with your decision.

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Specializes in Peds and Well baby.

I just finished my 5th month and reading your post just made me realize that I had quit laying awake somewhere this past month or two and worrying about what may happen the next day or next shift. How could I not notice that I have been sleeping and not mulling over the myriad of things that could go wrong? When did I stop worrying about those things that I did not know that could cause serious injury to a patient?

It comes with time.

Last week the one nasty nurse at work literally forgot a patient and did not give the child his meds (nothing that would pose a danger) and had the wrong rate running for a whole shift of IV fluids. Other nurses wanted me to write an event report, but nooo, I called her and she talked me into "fixing" things. She insisted she had given the meds but had forgotten to

"save" in the computer. I did so after asking her could I get into trouble doing this. She assured me that I would not and quess what? This statistic showed up on me, not her. My head nurse sent me an email telling me that this nurse would talk with me about delayed medications! Needless to say she has not spoken to me about it. I sent this nurse an email asking how was it that this showed up as my mistake when she said that it would not and cc'd my head nurse. Now I wait for the shoe to fall.

That kind of pettiness becomes what you worry about more than your competencies as you put in time. Ain't it a shame what we nurses do to each other?

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Specializes in ER, Cardiac Tele/ICU Stepdown.

Hey guys,

I too have posted on this stickie, stressed out, can't sleep, anxious about work, making mistakes, feeling like I'm not cut out for this job. However, the strangest thing is gradually starting to happen.... those feelings are getting less and less, everyday I work. I hate work less and less everyday, and the anxiety is gradually getting better. Granted I still don't know everything, and still occasionally ask questions, feel like an idiot for time to time, but for the most part, I feel like I'm becoming a kinda-sorta competent nurse.. lol. In the beginning it's so hard to see the big picture, but now I'm starting to get it.. Just wanted to shed a little glimmer of hope to you guys out there stressin, I know how it is, and I guess those people who said it gets better might be right.

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Specializes in IMCU.
Hey guys,

I too have posted on this stickie, stressed out, can't sleep, anxious about work, making mistakes, feeling like I'm not cut out for this job. However, the strangest thing is gradually starting to happen.... those feelings are getting less and less, everyday I work. I hate work less and less everyday, and the anxiety is gradually getting better. Granted I still don't know everything, and still occasionally ask questions, feel like an idiot for time to time, but for the most part, I feel like I'm becoming a kinda-sorta competent nurse.. lol. In the beginning it's so hard to see the big picture, but now I'm starting to get it.. Just wanted to shed a little glimmer of hope to you guys out there stressin, I know how it is, and I guess those people who said it gets better might be right.

I am just wondering, are you somewhere around 8-9 months out now? That is when I noticed it was much better for me. I am have also been experiencing another steep upturn of the learning curve at just past one year, as I have had a hard time lately managing during some patient crisis and have had a run in or two with a supervisor. I again returned to feeling stupid and incompetent, but have pretty much decided that 1. I had/have a particular supervisor who is unsupportive and 2. It just may be another part of the natural learning curve 3. Our system is one that you have to learn to be a really good nurse by limited guidence and loads of opportunity to make mistakes which hopefully I will not repeat 4. Our equipment doesn't always work well and we are not trained on how to set it up and use it anyhow. 5. Murpeys law prevails.

All of this is a really dangerous set up for the patients. I think it is the traditional system that noone cares to fix. Much like residents having to work 36 hour shifts and the crap they put up with from their attendings.

I don't know that I will ever be in a position to effect any change other than being alert to these issues, and being supportive of those who follow me. I do intend to speak up about the equipment and try to take the oportunity to learn how to operate it if and when it functions correctly. I am also becoming a bit more calculating with my co-workers. I am less willing to help those who react passively and who don't help me in a pinch and more apt to go out of my way to help those who go out of their way to help me:bowingpur. This doesn't include the real newbies, because they get first chance in my book!

I refuse to become mean spirited, but it pays to be a little cagey in this line of work!

Mahage

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Well said, Mahage. Murphy's law will usually get its way, and unless you spend the majority of your day kissing you know what insted of providing good care, it is my observation that hard work and dedication will only attract more work, and not the recognition it deserves. It is sad to say, but I think you are very right that one should be a little more calculating when it comes to peers. Very sad to say, because I think most everyone wants to work as a team, but one (or a few) bad apples can definitely spoil the bunch and make for a very sorry working environment.

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Specializes in Critical Care.

I have posted in different areas and started reading this thread...I am one of those who didn't make it past 4 months. I accepted a job in ICU (what was I thinking) right out of school, and never stood a chance. My co-workers didn't support me from the beginning. Then the silent stuff started happening...ignoring me, smirking if I asked a question, quizzing me on the floor in front of others for "game", then going to my DON with all of the details...without telling me. I gave it my best. I finally requested a transfer to a unit where I can strengthen my basic nursing skills. My DON was supportive, said she would help. I apply for every job available, few call back. Since I didn't complete my probationary period, I couldn't transfer. This is 2 weeks after the fact. Next thing that happens is I get a letter outlining how I didn't meet expectations, including many accusations from other nurses that I was never even told about until I got this letter. I am advised my employment will be terminated if I don't find a job within the organization within 1 week. (How do find a job when no one is hiring?) I am so depressed after all i went through as a single mom to put myself through nursing school, then to lose my job after trying not to by requesting a transfer. I am still blown away how mean spirited nurses are to each other. I am trying to pay my bills like the next person. Why make me miserable? Thanks for letting me vent.

Any suggestions on where to go from here? Clinic work? Private duty? I give up.

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Specializes in Psych, Med-Surg.

Although I don't have a lot of advice, I wanted to say you should be proud of what you've done. Nursing school is hard enough, and I don't know how parents, let alone single parents, do it. So I'm sending you a virtual pat on the back.

I think a lot of nurses don't find their niche right away. And it doesn't help to have an unsupportive environment.

Despite the problems you've had, what you've learned in ICU is going to be helpful to your next job. I wish you good luck, and hope you find a new job you love soon!

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Specializes in IMCU.

I think I would confront my DON with the difference in her verbalized support and the letter I received. I would go to HR about it too! You will get another job. I probably wouldn't even bother trying to stay in the system. Where are you located? Some areas still have lots of openings even for new grads. I know I will gladly move on to another setting if I get a knife in my back which I could any day. I don't really expect to get terminated, but you never know. Most days I feel good about the work I do, but I am really untrusting about my one particular ANM and do not have a real relationship with either of our managers. So far I just take the good and try to learn from the bad.

Dialysis Nursing seems to be open to new grads. You might try some of the free standing clinics.

Stay in touch,

Mahage

I have posted in different areas and started reading this thread...I am one of those who didn't make it past 4 months. I accepted a job in ICU (what was I thinking) right out of school, and never stood a chance. My co-workers didn't support me from the beginning. Then the silent stuff started happening...ignoring me, smirking if I asked a question, quizzing me on the floor in front of others for "game", then going to my DON with all of the details...without telling me. I gave it my best. I finally requested a transfer to a unit where I can strengthen my basic nursing skills. My DON was supportive, said she would help. I apply for every job available, few call back. Since I didn't complete my probationary period, I couldn't transfer. This is 2 weeks after the fact. Next thing that happens is I get a letter outlining how I didn't meet expectations, including many accusations from other nurses that I was never even told about until I got this letter. I am advised my employment will be terminated if I don't find a job within the organization within 1 week. (How do find a job when no one is hiring?) I am so depressed after all i went through as a single mom to put myself through nursing school, then to lose my job after trying not to by requesting a transfer. I am still blown away how mean spirited nurses are to each other. I am trying to pay my bills like the next person. Why make me miserable? Thanks for letting me vent.

Any suggestions on where to go from here? Clinic work? Private duty? I give up.

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I've been there and still am! I've been off orientation for 7 months now!

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I am also a new grad, I was wondering what others have found helpful in surviving being a new grad. Maybe we could all come up with a list of coping strategies as new grads.

I also wanted to know if anyone knows a good way to not look as freaked out as we actually feel. I know from many past experiences that when I am anxious it is written all over me and it is so obvious. On my first day of orientation half way through my orientation shift the Educator asked me if I wanted to go home because I looked overwhelmed. And yes I was overwhelmed but I knew if I left early, I would never come back. I ended up sticking through the shift and I did survive.

I just want to learn how to hide my fear a bit better. Any suggestions?

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