Stupid things that nurses say

Thanks Tex. Have a good one :)

I was working in the ER and we had an EMT student with us and a patient was brought in with a gunshot and he looked at the EMT student and said "am I gonna die" and the student looked him in the eyes and replied "well frankly it doesn't look good" and the patient said "I am gonna die?" And proceeded to die.

I have to tell you something my mom said once (even though she is not a nurse but it tells you my genetics and how I have to watch what I say ).

She was at work and normally answered her phone "ABC Company this is Susan how can I help you?"

Someone walked by her desk and said " Susan can you hold this?"

At the same time her phone rang and she answered her phone "ABC Company This is Susan can I hold you?"

She said the person on the other end of the line was like "...uummmm no thank you...I think..."

I had a pt in A.Fib and had orders to administer PO diltiazem (Cardizem), then in the next few hours call the MD on call and let him know if it's improving.

Now, I don't work on a cardiac unit so it isn't super common to give that medication.

I call the on-call physician (mind you he didn't prescribe the med)

And tell him, "... The diltiazem is working fairly well her HR is consistently below 115." The doctor is silent for a few minutes and had me repeat what I just said. Finally after I repeat the medication 10 times he says "OHHHH Ok, perfect thank you", laughs and hangs up. Seriously confused, I just brushed it off.

Later I realized I had pronounced diltiazem totally wrong as "die-al-ah-ta-zem" not "dil-tye-zem"

Horrified.

I finally feel comfortable, tired, and hysterically amused. Thank you so much for sharing.

Good lord...what does it say about me that I need to come here to read about things related to work to relax from a day spent in a way most people would find fun?

Yes! Me too! AN is a stress reliever!!

my stupid moment as a new grad- asking pt if they had a BM today

Duh- they had a colostomy .lol

Hahaha... I did this over and over again.

D

That happened to my husband but in the girl's defense she wasn't looking directly at us and my daughter and I are the same height.

Hahaha! These are so great. The dumbest thing I EVER said was back in nursing school. Although I've said some pretty dumb things since. Anyway, it was my mother/baby rotation and my clinical instructor all but *shoved* my whole group into a new mom's room. She had her baby with her, and the baby's grandmother was also in the room. There was this long awkward silence as we all stood there looking at each other; finally, I couldn't stand the silence anymore. Looking at the patient's mother, who was holding the newborn, I exclaimed "Your grandbaby is so cute! Is she the newest member of your family?" She looked at me in total confusion as I stammered awkwardly, trying to backtrack. I literally had no idea what was coming out of my mouth. As soon as we all walked out of the patient's room, we collapsed into gales of laughter. The newest member of their family? Really? The baby that literally was just born.

Bump!

I was working with a fairly new quad when lab came in to draw. She was prepping his arm as I did trach cares for the AM, and suddenly she piped up "ok, now you're going to feel a little poke!"

I kinda froze in the middle of my cares and looked at my b pt's face. He rolled his eyes, smiled, and mouthed "do you promise?"

I couldn't help myself - I burst out laughing, then told the lab tech what he said. She turned bright red and fled just as soon as she had her blood.

I once told a new BKA that he'd be back on his feet in no time. He grinned and said "only if they bring it back from the trash heap".

I took a pt from PACU to their room. After going over the surgery and history (which included bilateral aka) the nurse I reported to asked if the patient could walk without assistance. As I stood there trying not to laugh, the patient was laughing their butt off and the daughter was giving her a look that could kill.

As a nursing student I was doing a clinical in a high Obs unit. I was leaving my patients room and said "just holler if you need anything"

he he just had a laryngectomy ������