Student Nurse Social Awkwardness

[SNgirl21, BSN]

I'm currently in my 2nd year of a BSN program. I switched my major to nursing after my 1st semester of college. Nursing was the career I really wanted to pursue all along, but my own lack of self-confidence held me back from initially going for it. I was afraid of making mistakes and afraid my own social awkwardness would get in the way. Now that I'm in the nursing program, I couldn't be happier with my decision. I am so glad I decided to pursue this. The only problem is that whenever we have lab simulations or CBE (competency-based exams), I become extremely anxious and socially awkward. I start shaking uncontrollably and can't seem to find the right words to talk to the other students or professor who is the simulated patient. I have passed all of my CBEs so far since I know the skills, but I feel disappointed in myself for not being able to handle my nerves and talk to people. I also have had trouble forging any close bonds with the other students since I joined the program late and am a commuter at a predominantly residential campus. Any advice on how to overcome this social awkwardness would be greatly appreciated.

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

Reheorifice! Seriously, reheorifice over and over (out loud) what you want to say, how you want to say it. It is how actors and public speakers overcome stage fright.

[JyRn18]

I had this issue when entering school myself. I found that the more you practiced the better you became. Try interviewing people outside of a hospital situation, it may help you in finding a style of communication that best suits you. I have also found that asking open ended questions are best because patients will be open to sharing their stories and it will be easier to pick up on key points essential to your assesments.

[SNgirl21, BSN]

Thank you! I am taking advantage of open labs, so hopefully that will become more helpful the more I go.

[em96]

If it makes you feel better, I am in my last semester of school and pretty confident in my skills, and I still get nervous for simulations. I always feel so awkward and I really dread them. I'm totally fine talking to real patients, but simulations just feel unnatural and it's hard to pretend the dummys are real patients. In my program, sometimes you have your whole clinical group watching you do the simulation by yourself and it's the worst!

I agree with the first commenter that you just need to keep practicing. I type up a script of everything I need to say and memorize it. I have a friend/family member pretend to be the patient, then I practice walking into the room and saying everything I need to say. Then during the simulation, you have a better chance of remembering all the steps even when you feel yourself getting nervous because you've practiced it before.

Also, I think a big part of confidence is just pretending you feel that way. Even when you're feeling anxious about it, try to control your thoughts and turn it into positive self-talk. Try visualizing yourself absolutely rocking the scenario instead of thinking about how awkward it is or messing up.

Don't be so hard on yourself, keep practicing and I promise it will get easier!

[SNgirl21, BSN]

Thanks so much! I have pretty much the same strategy. I've only been doing skills and sims for about 6 weeks, so it's hard to tell if what I'm doing is going to work. I'm glad you've been successful. At least I might be doing something right.

[PaSSiNGaS, MSN]

Practice practice practice at everything you do. Many people just like you though benefit from small doses of propranolol for the same reasons... tremors, public speaking anxiety, etc. Can easily have a primary care provider write a script for propranolol that will usually help a ton.

[SNgirl21, BSN]

Thanks for contributing your perspective. I'm definitely going to practice as much as possible.

[NurseJamillah, MSN, NP]

If you have any electives to fill, speech class helped me.

If you are somewhat of a perfectionist, like me, I notice that I stumble on my words more if I begin to doubt my knowledge/memory of a subject. Because of that, I study harder when I actually have to speak about something, so that talking about it becomes second nature.

It also helps me to prevent social anxiety by deep breathing while thinking about something that makes me happy and calm right before I speak. Each time I have a successful interaction, my confidence level rises and I am a little less anxious, next time.

Last thing, when I was in college, my younger sister (who was 13 and doesn't have this problem) told me that I just needed to "get in touch with my inner f**k-it". I had never ever said a swear word in front of her before, and she had never ever done so in front of me. But every time I remember her goofy face with this advice, I can't help but laugh on the inside. Best advice ever.

[SNgirl21, BSN]

Yes, I am a total perfectionist. I do think I start doubting myself in the moment, even if I know I've practiced the scenario over and over. I can look back and realize I was being irrational, but somehow that doesn't stop me from feeling the exact same way the next time. The one thing that did help me though, was that I did much better than usual on one particular CBE (vitals & hand hygeine) for some reason. Everything just went so smoothly and flowed more naturally. I was still nervous, but I feel I held it together and looked much more professional, which boosted my confidence a tiny bit. I feel like all of my other lab experiences before and after that went much worse though, so I'm not sure what was different about that one instance. I wish I did. I will try the deep breathing & positive thoughts. Thank you!

[TheDudeWithTheBigDog, ADN, RN]

I get socially awkward too. In my labs, I struggle to talk my way through things that I do daily at work like it's completely natural. I can have a conversation with a patient about football while I give him a bath, and get it done perfect to the textbook, but then in lab, it's like I've never given a bath before. It's because you're being graded.

What's working for me, as stupid as it sounds, is shut out your teacher, and actually open into the simulation/mannequin/whatever as a conversation. Ask it how it's feeling today. Ask if it watched a football game that was on yesterday. As smart as humans are, our brain can be stupid sometimes, and you kind of trick yourself into the perception that it's just you and the simulation. Then don't tell your teacher what you're doing, tell the simulation. You know how to do this stuff if you're at the point of being tested on it. This also gets you into practice of still being a human when you're taking care of actual patients. This will also help with learning to talk to other students.

And for talking to other students, just talk to them like a coworker. Your schooling is going to be like a job, you're going to see the same people for the next couple years, working together in labs, in clinicals, and your classroom. You're all in the same situation. And if it comes to any insecurities, just remember, every single one of them is also fighting against their own. Plus most people aren't really that good at talking to people they don't know, that's why cliques are so common. Think of it as just being socially awkward together.

[SNgirl21, BSN]

That is actually very helpful and seems like a great way to approach these situations. I never really thought of it like that. I do think being graded is a factor. It makes the situation seem really unnatural. I have not yet had the chance to interact with a real patients, which makes it difficult to put myself in that position. I will remember your advice in lab and when I go to my first clinicals next semester. Thanks!