Strange things people present to the ER with....

[klcrn1987]

What are some of the strangest things you have heard people say are wrong with them....and what was the MD's diagnosis..

I had a guy come in saying he had "what looked like adult Chickenpox on his d**k".....can we say "HELLO---HERPES"

Had a guy come in today with "brain pain for 2 years"......for lack of anything better--all test were negative....? migraines

I know there are some more good ones out there...let's hear 'em...........

[Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN]

guy thought he had a tick on his butt, turned out it was a worther's original stuck to his ass crack hairs.

may i thank you 100,000,000 times? i have had a crappy week. i watched as my best friend's dad took his last breath yesterday, and in a few hours, she and i are going to pick her brother and his wife up at the airport. they've been on their honeymoon, and don't know that dad died.

for some reason, this post just did it for me. thanks a million!

*~jess~*

[rph3664]

This story is DEFINITELY NWS!

http://erstories.net/?p=599#comment-4696

[rph3664]

17 day old baby: umbilical cord fell off.

[bisacat]

I had a lady come in by EMS.

Pt: Anxious, crying..."My skin hurts all over my body!" Woman's skin is slightly red.

Doc: "How do you think this happened?"

Pt: "I don't know".

Doc: "It looks like a mild sunburn".

Pt: "Maybe. I'm here on vacation and I did sit at the beach for a few hours yesterday."

Doc: "Sunscreen?"

Pt: "No. Will I be admitted? I'm in such pain."

Doc: "Ma'am, you clogging up my ER and wasting an ambulance is vulgar as it is, you're being discharged with a pamphlet on sun protection."

[tryingtohaveitall]

Guy thought he had a tick on his butt, turned out it was a worther's original stuck to his ass crack hairs.

This is the funniest thing I have read on here ever!!!

[rph3664]

Guy thought he had a tick on his butt, turned out it was a worther's original stuck to his ass crack hairs.

How did it get there? Was he vacuuming naked and fell into the candy dish?

[Hilinenursegrl]

We just discharged an 8 y/o boy who had a spider in his ear. Needless to say when I heard the problem I told the other nurse he was hers, I can not deal with spiders, or bugs, ick! The grandmother said the boy sleeps on her floor alot and the spider must have crawled in there because it was dark and warm.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

You put the lime in the coconut ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThMw0IsuQf8&feature=related

" ... Now let me get this straight

Put the lime in the coconut, you drank 'em both up (3x)

Put the lime in the coconut, you called your doctor, woke him up, and said

Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I said

Doctor, to relieve this bellyache, I said

Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I said

Doctor, to relieve this bellyache

You put the lime in the coconut, you drink 'em both together

Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better

Put the lime in the coconut, drink 'em both up

Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning ..."

Ok, yeah, it's the new ER anthem. I love it. Can we put it on repeating play in the waiting room?

[Iam46yearsold]

Play it so I can hear it. I have always loved it. I hum it often while starting IVs for some reason.

[Faeriewand, ASN, RN]

Frequent flyer-comes in because he sh!t his pants. We would always pray he wouldn't come in on our shift.

[Christy1019, ASN, RN]

I've seen quite a few strange complaints but the funniest I ever had personally was about a month ago, one of our frequent flyer crackheads came in with chief complaint listed as : my left buttcheck is bigger than the right, so of course i roll my eyes and go see him and ask him if it hurts etc, and he says, i kid you not "no, but its throwing off my balance and interfering with my gymnastics and tennis lessons" i couldnt help it, i just started laughing lol you'd have to see this guy, crazy hair standing straight up with eyes about to pop out of his head missing half his teeth.. lol

[apoohneicie]

Complaint: "I'm passing blood clogs"

Diagnosis: Your period

Complaint: "My son's face is swelling up"

Diagnosis: Acne

I went to the ER once with blood clots, they determined it was just menorrhagia, acted like I was wasting their time and without so much as a blood test sent me home. A year later, my new primary doctor found out the real problem was stage 4 uterine cancer. I may have mispronounced things, I'm not sure...it's hard to tell when you were as anemic as I was.

I'm not trying to be mean, I know what you go through and how silly some people can be. I spent a month in the hospital after my diagnosis and my nurses became my family at the hardest time in my life.