STR8 vs Gay Male RN

RNPATL, DNP, RN · Feb 3, 2004

I have responded to this issue several times throughout my career as a nurse. I graduated when I was 20 years old and really struggled with "does everyone think I am gay because I am a nurse" mentality. But as I grow up and matured a little more, I realized that it really did not matter.

Isn't it interesting how what we choose as a profession marks us in society as to what our sexual preference/orientation might be. That is confusing to me, but perhaps it helps society in general to label people so everyone fits into a perfect slot and the world can turn without worry that someone has moved from their slot. I am not a person that is into labels, so society can name me what they want, I am just a regular person trying to walk through life and do good as I go.

Todd SPN · Feb 3, 2004

I can only speak for myself and as a straight nurse. I have found it to be a non-issue with my coworkers. Like any nurse, if they do their job well they are respected. I have seen some male residents that when suspecting a male is gay have some reservations like when it comes to cathing, but know of no one refusing to allow them to care for them because they are gay.

Now, if you want to talk about my experience with a gay female nurse and her attitude towards her male coworkers, that's a different story.

scrubs · Feb 3, 2004

Ok fellow nurses..here we go...

I am Scrubs..the meek..the humble..the gay...the 4.0 GPA BSNRN with a twist..Uh oh...I'm outed....yupper..I yam.....maybe I can throw a little light on all this jazz..First, let me say I am a female..a pretty and feminine female who has no outward (no pun intended) signs of my sexual preference. To get quite honest and serious about all this (insecure?) hoopla..most of the guys i.e. male nurses, that I have worked with are straight and married...years ago, before the neanderthal mentality allowed men to do whatever they wanted, men who entered the profession were often the softer variety and the creative souls who ventured into a once "female realm". Times have sooo changed! I work all over the US in agency, and there are tons of men in the field. Big, brawney , masculine, short ones, tall ones, big ones small ones...some with beards, some with tattoos, some with very gentle "limp wristed" behaviors. Never, have I run into an educated man who was worried about people thinking he was gay or not. Especially one with a nice wife and marriage. My question would have to be, WHY does it matter to you so much? There must be some underlying issue if it means that much for you to ask publically. Having said that, I should also assure you, that even if....even IF, someone thought so...it ain't all that bad....I would rather wear the tag of "gay" then "murderer" or "liar" or "narrow minded prejudiced A-hole". Carry on dude, and just don't wear a pink feather boa with your uniform, and everything should be just fine! OH! did you notice these little kissing icons look alike? Hmmmmm......

:kiss Scrubs

RNPATL, DNP, RN · Feb 3, 2004

Well put SCRUBS .... and you are right, they do a like, umm.:blushkiss

mattsmom81 · Feb 3, 2004

and one that occurred to me several threads back when some of our fellow posters really jumped on some other posters.....

We have some very young folks who post here and why not look at it from a more parental viewpoint?? i try to...when we have kids the questions seem more innocent...and we don't want to stop them from asking questions do we....

zudy · Feb 3, 2004

In my 25 years of nursing, the vast majority of the time this has been a non-issue with the various people I have worked with. I have been questioned several times,however, by lay people that have asked me about "male nurses" being gay. (Strange, no one has ever asked me about "female nurses" being gay.) I always tell them the same thing:

"I do not question consenting adults about what they do in the privacy of thier bedrooms."

Works for me.

FNP grrl · Feb 4, 2004

Originally posted by zudy
...I always tell them the same thing:

"I do not question consenting adults about what they do in the privacy of thier bedrooms."

Works for me.

impeccable response. thanks- i've been looking for a succinct comeback like that!!

hogan4736, BSN, RN · Feb 4, 2004

Originally posted by zudy
"I do not question consenting adults about what they do in the privacy of thier bedrooms."

agreed...yet we (society) question other activities that adults do behind closed doors...why is that?

sean

hbscott · Feb 4, 2004

Originally posted by hogan4736
agreed...yet we (society) question other activities that adults do behind closed doors...why is that? sean

Fundamentally the issue is about trust. If people lie about any activity (behind close doors or not) then trust erodes. A society that has strong bonds of trust established thrives. A society with eroding and weak bonds of trust will ultimately fail.

All this supportive rhetoric does little if "hearts and minds" are plagued with suspicion and doubt.

-HBS

dlmickley · Mar 10, 2004

I know this was originally posted several months ago ............... But I just wanted to say that a nurse is a nurse, male or female, gay or straight. The only thing any one should worry about is thier compatencey and professionalism, period end of discussion. Thanks for letting me say my peace.

scrubs · Mar 10, 2004

Just a thought here. A nurse is also objective, open minded, affable, and able to participate in active thought provoking conversation without sounding overly opinionated.There is usually no period, or ending of discussion on open discussions. Competence is spelled with an "E", that would be a period, end of discussion.Thanks for your input!

scrubs · Mar 10, 2004

Fundamentally the issue is about trust. If people lie about any activity (behind close doors or not) then trust erodes. A society that has strong bonds of trust established thrives. A society with eroding and weak bonds of trust will ultimately fail.
All this supportive rhetoric does little if "hearts and minds" are plagued with suspicion and doubt.
-HBS[/quote
I wish to disagree with the notion that "fundamentally, the issue is about trust." Fundamentally, the issue is about prejudice. Since the issue of homosexuality is such a controversial issue in America today, it is important to realize that gay "bashings", murders, and extreme discriminations occur regularly in the workplace and out of the workplace, on a daily basis. In the school yards, "faggot" and "dyke" are used often and with malice, and inevitably as a negative connotation.The need for gay people being "secretive" which in turn "erodes trust?" became a need for self preservation and sometimes an issue of remaining safe in a situaion. A society with "weak bonds" of not accepting other humans, for whomever and whatever doctrine or way of life they may follow, will (and does) ultimately fail. Why, I might ask, would anyone's heart or intelligent mind be "plagued" with suspicion and doubt about whom I sleep with? Ya just gotta know???? To preserve society? Yikes.