Still a new grad... when will it end?

33762FL · Jan 25, 2012

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wow, that's terrible for you, but don't give up! i'm a newbie too, and while i haven't hurt anyone either, i've made more mistakes than you described for sure!!!"

i'll third this. it seems inevitable that nurses, especially new ones on busy floors, won't do everything perfectly and exactly on time 100% of the time. it sounds like the most important variable is if you work with a preceptor and coworkers who understand this and will help support and correct you, or if you work with people who want to find reasons to get you fired. i was lucky and had the former, so the one time when i realized i overlooked at 1500 antibiotic and gave it late at 1630, it was only chalked up to a learning experience. and my facility has a policy where 2 rn's have to sign on off on every new medication order transcription onto the mar, so if it weren't for the double-check i probably would have made the same error you did with the prn vs. a standing order at some point.

i would try and cultivate a career in school nursing if i were you, you seem to be doing well there.

Merlyn · Jan 25, 2012

Wow, that's terrible for you, but don't give up! I'm a newbie too, and while I haven't hurt anyone either, I've made more mistakes than you described FOR SURE!!! I absolutely hate my nursing job...BUT, everyone says that the first year or two are often horrible, so I'm sticking with it because I always wanted to do this, to help people. In fact I quit a job making much more than I do as a nurse to go to school and become an RN, so now there are so many days I could kick myself in the butt. To me it seems like in med surg nursing, you don't have the TIME to properly care for patients. I never even take a lunch break, or any break for 13 hrs. It wears me out, but that I can handle. It's giving my all to try and help people and do the right thing, but knowing if I can be taking care of a patient in one room, while another patient of mine has a fall in another room, and while I did everything I could have to prevent it, I could still get in trouble!!!
Sorry I got off topic, first time venting. But I feel your pain and hope you get a job with some very great co-workers, who remember what it was like to be "new"! Best wishes!

Work 13 hrs. no brake, If you get paid for 13 hrs. no problem but if you don't, take a brake that you are entitled to. Even if you have to call the supervisor. Slavery went out with the 14th amendment. It may get a little better. But you wouldn't be. You can't go on like this forever. Over the years, your body will start to brake down. Foot,Leg, Knee and back problems are common. To say nothing of emotional problems from running on high 12 to 13 hrs. day. If you think it is vital that you not take a brake,then ask yourself this,"How does the floor get along when I'm not here?" Caring for people is a noble idea but the one that you should care about the most is you.

Punch · Jan 25, 2012

I too have struggled. After graduation I worked in LTC for a year so that I could get the experience needed in order to gain a job in Med/Surg at the hospital. I was very successful as a LTC nurse and when I left, the DON there tried to talk me out of it. Anyway, I got the job of my dreams in the hospital and felt I was doing well, although the stress was killer! During my midpoint review, the DON expressed the view that perhaps I was not working in the right element for me. I was shocked and saddened since I had heard nothing negative from the preceptors I had worked with! After much soul-searching, I decided to leave the position before my orientation was completed (I still had three weeks left). It felt like being knocked to my knees and wondering....who is deciding my fate and saying things about me and my performance? I did a lot of crying and went through a period of depression. All of my self-confidence was gone. I decided to go back to LTC even though I know it is not the place I want to be. My husband told me this morning that he doesn't think I will ever be happy in nursing. I feel that I have just not yet found the right fit for me. The problem is, I have never been a job hopper - I worked for years in office management before going into this field. But now I wonder if I will be able to land another job in an area right for me. I don't want to continue trying to find the right job and possibly failing. How does one know???? And how do you do it without feeling like a total loser?!! I don't want employers to see my job history and be afraid to take a chance on me. HELP!!

helster83 · Jan 25, 2012

You sound exactly like me. Sometimes I didn't take breaks, but realized that by 7AM I sounded like a complete moron in report because my blood sugar probably ran low by then. So, I made it a big deal to take 20 minutes in the break room around 2 or 3 AM. Hot pocket, can of pepsi and a snickers bar.

I told my family when I worked that it was impossible to work at 100% capacity, 100% of the time. There were always 2-3 patients that acted up throughout the night, or something would always go wrong that you have to learn to prepare for, and accept that you made mistakes over.

The other problem is that you have to watch your own back, because you can get accused of making mistakes that you didn't make (which seemed to happen to a lot to the nurses on my floor, and it happened to me once). My hospital was going through changes with reimbursement (medicaid was looking for more reasons to withhold money), and the hospital is trying to get recognized as being magnet status. Therefore management is extra unforgiving.

Sashalanda · Jan 25, 2012

Oh dear you got stuck with nightmare mentors. I was so fortunate with mine. I too made mistakes..all new nurses do! That is why the other nurses on next shift go over cardexs with charts checking orders..because as humans we make mistakes. I am sure you have learned a good bit from the mistakes you have made and that you took ownership of those mistakes. Right now most hospitals around here have been on hiring freeze because of economy and even more medicare cuts. Good many are having trouble finding jobs. My son was very lucky he got in just under the wire...and he knows how lucky he is.

I don't know if you have faith or are a non believer but this helped me. I said a prayer everyday regarding work. To give me the stamina needed and to steady my hand to prevent any mistakes. I started this about 3 yrs after I started nursing. I still made errors of course but non were patient harm errors...and that was a big relief to me. I also workednight shift and put just a dab holy water on every single patients forehead on my first rounds. Never lost a patient on my shift. They may have passed over next day but not on mine and I was so thankful. Don't believe anyone that tells you they dont/havent made mistakes. You learn basics adn background in school but you do the most learning that first 5 yrs after school. I hope your next job you get a very good mentor. It will make a world of difference. Also..keep your curiosity rampant at work..that is how you will learn stuff that is rare. Wishing you the best in the future because we need good hearted nurses..not cold poops like that.

jtmarcy12, BSN, RN · Jan 25, 2012

My heart goes out to you!. Can you have a meeting with the previous bosses and sit down with them and have them outline for you exactly what it is that will help you become a more efficent nurse. If they will not meet with you could you maybe talk with a previous co-worker and ask if they will honestly help you understand where you are falling short. I wish you the best God Bless you:icon_roll

helster83 · Jan 26, 2012

Thank- you for your post, though I'd find it rather nauseating to speak to my old employers again. I don't want to remind them that me (as well as other new nurses) are at their mercy.

I have gotten feed back from other nurses on my floor. My main problem (according to them) was that I showed lack of confidence or nervousness. ((I was petrified of the idea of having a patient code or starting to decompensate and addressing it too late)). Thankfully, it never happened. I luckily had a few good hunches that made me recheck v/s's independently of what my PCA's took.

The other nurses on the floor always tried reassuring me that everyone makes mistakes, they do, no one's perfect, to always ask for help when you need it. They were great to work with.

Merlyn · Jan 26, 2012

Thank- you for your post, though I'd find it rather nauseating to speak to my old employers again. I don't want to remind them that me (as well as other new nurses) are at their mercy.
I have gotten feed back from other nurses on my floor. My main problem (according to them) was that I showed lack of confidence or nervousness. ((I was petrified of the idea of having a patient code or starting to decompensate and addressing it too late)). Thankfully, it never happened. I luckily had a few good hunches that made me recheck v/s's independently of what my PCA's took.
The other nurses on the floor always tried reassuring me that everyone makes mistakes, they do, no one's perfect, to always ask for help when you need it. They were great to work with.[/quote
Perfect...let me tell you about being perfect. I don't know if this story about this man ever came out. So you will hear it here first. There once was a teacher. He love two things in his life the subject he taught and playing his violin. The director of this small orchestra that the teacher play in was going through Austria one summer. In a small library there he was looking through a book and he found folded in the pages a violin concerto by Hayden that was unknown. He brought it back with him and ask the teacher it he would play the solo. The teacher was thrilled. He practiced and practice. The night of the performance came and the teacher played his heart out. When the concert was over he ask his wife,"Mama, how did I do? His wife looked at him and said," Papa, think you made some mistakes." The old man looked at her and said, ' Well,Mama I did my best." It's a cute story made even more appropriate to this subject when I tell you that the orchestra was located in Princeton, NJ, the teachers subject was abstract physics, up until that time only 4 other people in the world knew what exactly the level of this old man. The teacher's name, that did his best and made a few mistakes was Albert Einstein. It is a true story. It was told to me by the daughter of the director. Mistakes anyone?

helster83 · Jan 27, 2012

Thank- you. I definitely feel stronger as a RN now than I did a year ago. I've had a lot of time to go over how a shift could be managed much easier by organizing myself differently.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jan 28, 2012

it seems that you are discouraged by all this but i want to encourage you to look at this a new way. your post title says still a new grad but you are an experienced nurse.
please keep your chin up during this transition and look for the silver lining in your past employment. you have learned alot.

i would hesitate to call someone who didn't make it off orientation an "experienced nurse," although you may be able to make that claim for purposes of gaining an interview. i'd encourage you to do some soul searching and determine exactly what you contributed to the negative experiences you had with your first two jobs. it's all very well and good to say your first preceptor was a bully and your second manager was a meanie, but surely that's not the whole story. figure out what you did wrong and what you'll do differently next time, and you'll be in a much stronger place the next time you interview.

helster83 · Jan 30, 2012

There has been a lot of thought and analysis on my own part in regards to what has happened during the time I worked both positions. I have done a lot of questioning of myself in how I reacted or how I felt in circumstances when I made mistakes or lost the sense of control. I thought a lot about how I would correct myself the next time around. And also, both employment situations were completely different. Honestly, I'd say the last experience was an improvement from the first one all around.

I got along well with my preceptors and co-workers from my prior job very well. I truly treasured working and learning from them. Many of them told me that they 'believed in me' as I continued to grow and were shocked at the news when I told them I was forced to resign after I made the flexeril mischart error. But they gave me back the confidence that was taken from me, from my first position. I might not be "experienced" enough to a recruiter, but in the spirit of the word 'experienced', I did learn a heck of a lot, thanks to them. New grads don't teach themselves how to do blood transfusions, or how to react to crazy situations, etc. Mentors do that.

You are right about soul searching. I am the common denominator between both failures. I can't expect to think everything thats wrong with my career is external, and has nothing to do with my input. I have realized this since day 1. Thats why I asked for help. I cannot possibly provide you the whole story. You just read my side, for what it's worth. I am just another anonymous poster looking for a little insight on how to break down the barriers (self created or external) that are keeping me from succeeding in a career that I devoted my life to.