Still Feeling Crummy Months After an "Incident"

[devyn renee]

I wanted to start off by saying that I'm a pre-nursing student and not an RN or anything else like that. I volunteer at a hospital near my house and am considered a "clinical volunteer" basically meaning we help the nurses with CNA type duties. I've been on the ICU for a few months now and I absolutely love it.

The problem is that a couple months ago I was helping two nurses move a rather large pt from a cardiac chair back onto his bed. Somehow I ended up being the one pulling the pt as the two nurses pushed from the other side and most of the lines were on his arm closest to me as were all of the pumps. I have been in charge of watching the lines while moving a patient like this before but this guy was hooked up to about 8 different pumps and it was totally overwhelming. I straightened out all of the lines but one and I could not for the life of figure out where it was going, it was tangled around his arm and underneath him and it was just all over the place. As I was trying to figure it out the nurses started pushing him towards me. I should have told them I wasn't ready but I'm just a volunteer and it was clear they wanted to get this done quickly so I helped pull him over without saying anything.

Long story short, the line I couldn't straighten out was attached to the guys PICC line and when we transfered him to the bed the lumen completely snapped off of the line. It was a bloody mess and the pt was obviously in pain and they ended up having to D/C the whole line.

I just still feel so bad about it and I feel like the whole thing was completely my fault for not speaking up. My BF has tried to convince me it wasn't my fault and that watching the lines should have been the nurses job but I don't know. I have been on that floor a lot longer than most of the other volunteers and most of the staff think really highly of me and I feel like they trusted me and I let them down. I think mostly what I'm looking for here is how do you guys deal with it when you mess up? I just feel really bad about the whole thing.

[eatmysoxRN, ASN, RN]

I'm sorry that happened to you! I just wanted to let you know that everyone makes mistakes, and although you could have said something, I wouldn't let a volunteer hold a responsibility like that on my patient. Did you learn something? It sounds like it. Let it serve as a learning experience. The best nurses are ones who acknowledge and learn from mistakes. Keep enjoying your volunteer duties! Sounds like a fun and great place to learn.

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

Let it go. Worrying about it months later doesn't do you or him any good.

[sauconyrunner]

You will make many more errors as a Nurse. Heck when I was a student, I was helping the nurse move a patient from a chair to a bed, and blammo, we accidently extubated him. Ooops. He actually did fairly well. The poor nurse was really freaked out and I felt like I had done something wrong, because like you, I had been moving patients around for a while (worked as a CNA.)

In the end...the patient was alright. It's a good lesson to take a little extra care with those patients, for you and also for the nurse who was rushing about.

Stop worrying.

[nursel56]

. . .As I was trying to figure it out the nurses started pushing him towards me. I should have told them I wasn't ready but I'm just a volunteer and it was clear they wanted to get this done quickly so I helped pull him over without saying anything.

The thing about mistakes is that they become seared into your brain - so try to look at this as an early lesson in speaking up no matter who you are assisting. Rank doesn't matter when it comes to patient safety, and even if they do bite your head off (they won't) you'll know inside you did the right thing.

No more worrying!

[iluvivt, BSN, RN]

Please STOP worrying and just use the experience as a learning opportunity and get it in perspective. I cannot even count the number of PICCs we have to replace due to them inadvertently getting pulled out or broken. Sadly, it is fairly common with patient transport and moving from gurney to bed,ect. Should it happen...not as much as it does and should nursing be more mindful ..yes..but it happens and will happen again.

The nurse was ultimately responsible here even if you were helping. A lesson I learned a quite a while ago is to just speak up if I see something that is not right. I watched an ICU nurse push some Dilantin way too fast and the patient did brady down immediately. I stupidly thought she must know b/c she was an ICU nurse . From that day on I promised myself I would speak up b/c it was about the patient and not about sparing the nurses feeling. I did however, learn how to share information in a professional ,non accusatory manner and have great success with this approach b/c the nurses know I am there to help them too.

[blondy2061h, MSN, RN]

I was sitting with a confused patient once. He was sitting calmly, facing away from me. After awhile I felt like he was too quiet and went to check on him. He handed me his PICC that he had pulled out and said, "I found this." it didn't even bother me that much. No one was hurt long term.

[Stephalump]

Hugs to you.

You know, in everything we do in life, mistakes are inevitable. I'm someone who has sometimes unrealistically high expectations for myself, so I understand how something like that can affect you for months; it's tough.

But since you absolute cannot go back in time to change that moment, you really only have two choices. You can keep punishing yourself for it or you can move on. If you stay stagnant, you'll be sacrificing your peace and the confidence you'll surely need through your journey through NS.

If you look at it as a learning experience, make your peace with the idea that incidents will happen throughout life, and use it as an opportunity to grow, you'll be a better person and a better nurse.

Your choice. :)

[SHGR, MSN, RN, CNS]

Wait, two nurses were pushing and you, the volunteer, were pulling? And they didn't count to three or otherwise make sure you were ready? You are beyond lucky that you (or anyone else) was not injured in this incident (I mean long-term musculoskeletal injuries, not a broken PICC line). They should have been the ones to apologize to you.

We had a policy that only paid staff could transfer people. This whole incident just sounds strange.

Stop worrying about it. There is no way you were at fault here.

[applewhitern, BSN, RN]

I have never heard of a "clinical volunteer" that does actual patient care like this, especially in an ICU with a patient who has multiple "lines." I guess this is one way to get out of paying for staff. However, I agree that you are not at fault here, so stop worrying about it.

[devyn renee]

I just wanted to thank everyone for their responses! I have definitely become much more vocal with the nurses since this all happened which is definitely a good thing, especially for the patients I come in contact with. I know that everyone makes mistakes but for whatever reason I still kept hanging on to this one and hearing from you all made me feel a lot better. Although there really isn't all that much we can do in the hospital as volunteers I get better at what we do do every day which has got to be worth more then the few times I mess up. Much love to you all! :heartbeat

[SHGR, MSN, RN, CNS]

...I know that everyone makes mistakes but for whatever reason I still kept hanging on to this one and hearing from you all made me feel a lot better. Although there really isn't all that much we can do in the hospital as volunteers I get better at what we do do every day which has got to be worth more then the few times I mess up. Much love to you all! :heartbeat

Glad you are feeling better. Please don't let the paid staff there let you take the fall for any other times they mess up!