Starting a family during nursing school or after?

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Hello everyone!

This is my first new thread post in a long time, and I know there are other threads that discuss this subject. However, I wanted to post from my personal situation and get your opinions and stories as to when a better time to start having a family would be:

A) the middle of nursing school (in May after the 1st year is completed)

B) Right after graduation

C) IF a job is obtained relatively soon after the NCLEX, then start a family a few months after starting work

Some of the nursing students and nurses I have talked to have suggested that while it would be difficult to have a baby while in nursing school, it might be even more difficult as a first year RN. Both situations would be pretty rigorous. Background: I will be attending a mostly online RN program. I will generally be attending clinicals twice per week and the rest will be online. I also intend on cutting back some hours at work to make things more manageable.

As far as my situation goes, I have a B.S. in Biological Sciences and I've been in school for a long time! To spare going into another very long story, just know that I got accepted into an ADN program last Friday!!! It will take me 2 years to complete. Financially, I will need to find a job with the Associates first, and then after working 6 months to a year I would like to pursue a BSN. We have several mostly online programs and even a night program that meets once a week that I could pursue quite easily.

Now, there are several reasons my husband and I are eager to start a family. 1) Like I said, I have been in school a really long time and I am tired of putting everything in my life on hold just for school. 2) I've already had some fertility issues and we don't want to wait too long until it is too late for us to ever have children 3) We would prefer to have children while we are still "young" so that we have the energy and stamina to keep up with the little ones and do fun things. My own mother had an oopsie baby as a 40 year old (far past the time I had left the house) and while she is more financially secure and wise she doesn't have the time or energy to do as many of the fun things I got to do growing up.

I also currently work as a full-time CNA at a community hospital. I love it!

I understand any of the options I suggested above will NOT be easy. However, having a family means so much to me and my husband that we both understand the sacrifices we must endure. I also have a very supportive husband, but he is a little worried about being pregnant while in school. But, at this point in our lives, I think it makes more sense for our particular situation to endure being pregnant and going through or finishing up RN school rather than put one or the other on hold and do them at different intervals.

Any comments, opinions, thoughts, and stories would be greatly appreciated!

I thank you so much for your feedback.

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Specializes in Neuroscience.

I have not been pregnant while in nursing school, but I'm sure there are people out there who can do it. Since you're taking online classes, it might be easier since you don't have to wake up at a certain time and head to class.

Having a baby is a very personal thing, and regardless of what you're told here you should do what is right for you. The first three months of pregnancy is the most difficult in my opinion. You are simply exhausted, and I know I couldn't get enough sleep. The last three months of pregnancy are terrible because the baby is getting bigger and I swear, there is not room for both the baby and urine in your bladder. Be prepared to go to the bathroom all the time.

If I were you, I would time the pregnancy so you would be delivering during the summer months (if you have summer off). You'll want that time to bond with your child. I would also wait to consider pregnancy until you've experienced nursing school. After your first test, you'll know what is the right decision for you.

Best of luck!

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.

I'm currently pregnant & would suggest waiting until AFTER school. I know it seems like forever but trust me, it will be easier after school.

I know there are women who went to school while pregnant, but you never know how your pregnancy will go. I was getting ready to apply to nursing school when I found out I was pregnant. I put it on hold because it's my first baby & knew I needed time off.

I haven't worked since I found out & was wait listed for another school. So I said I wanted to be considered for summer. Ironically, I got accepted for summer & was due to start June 4th & go until July 18th. My due day is July 5th!

Well it's a good thing I didn't start nursing school. I had been to the ER close to 10 times & admitted once. I was admitted right around the time I got accepted so I had to decline as I was out on bed rest. Plus once I got the schedule, it was hectic. I knew I would push myself too hard & put myself into the hospital again.

So now I will apply to the fall 2015 programs. I know it will be worth it to delay school because I will get to bond with my baby & he will be that much older when I start.

It is best you wait because no one can predict how your pregnancy will go. The last thing you would want is to have to withdraw because of your pregnancy.

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I had my second baby my first semester in pre-requisites. I was taking two online classes and Physiology. Everything went fine and I was back to school within a week, and I got 3 As. However, I got pretty bad postpartum depression due to the stress of school and not taking enough time to rest after having the baby. We're now wanting a third but there is no way I want to have another baby while in school, so while I'm done with my prereqs, I'm going to take a break before going on to nursing school. I know there is such a push to get your education so you can get a job, but I think that taking time out to have a family is more important. There is always time for school. I would recommend taking a break so you can enjoy the process of having kids so much more. It is already so stressful by itself that you could easily lose the joy, if you are stressing about school at the same time.

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I would wait until you are done with school. You know how hard college can be bc you have a degree. However, NS is different. Also, you don't know how you will react to pregnancy. With my first daughter, I went into labor at 23 weeks. They stopped the labor and I was able to carry to 37, but I was on bed rest the entire pregnancy! I was in cosmetology school and had to take time off. What happens if the getting pregnant part does work out and you have a due date of May/June, then you have complications and have to take time off school. In one program I was looking at, you would just be out. With my second, I had terrible breathing issues and couldn't be very active.

Also, I got kind of dumb while I was pregnant with both. I couldn't imagine trying to do nursing school while pregnant. Also, you will need to find someone to watch baby while you are in school. Leaving your newborn is INCREDIBLY difficult! I went back to work after 7 weeks with my second and it was one of the hardest things I did at that point in my life. Then, you might be looking into sleepless nights right before a major exam.

I'm really not trying to put you down. I know there are people who do it. However, I would definitely not plan for that. On the other hand, there are people who have effortless pregnancies and perfect newborns. My daughter was the perfect baby and child until she turned 4! My son, not so much. Once you have a baby, EVERYTHING changes. I would just focus on finishing school and then starting a family.

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There is also the option of having your kids now if you are worried about infertility issues and putting school on hold.

I went back to school when my youngest was in 1st grade. I'm one of those stay-at-home moms. ;)

Oh and by the way, we had an "oopsie" baby at 44 (me) and 48 (husband) . . . .. we do all the same things we did with our three older kids. Coach, hike, take spontaneous trips, etc.

Our youngest will turn 13 in a couple of months and starts 7th grade in August. We are having a blast with him - we love our older kids and loved our time with them growing up but the truth is, an only child is easier. :) Of course, I may take that back when the teen years hit.

Good luck with your decision!

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Specializes in Cath/EP lab, CCU, Cardiac stepdown.

Personally I do not know the experience but I have spoken to a student who was pregnant during nursing school and she was seriously stressed.

In particular, I remember when it was near finals and she was almost due so that added even more stress. It was distracting for her to study, and she constantly had the looming fear of when she had to give birth. She told me her thoughts on what she worried about depending on when the baby was going to be born:

Before finals: she was worried that she would be in recovery and had to take care of the baby this rendering her unable to study for finals. And the baby Will be premature at this point so she probably couldn't even take the final.

During finals: she definitely didn't want to go into labor during the exam or right before the exam. Check your schools policy on make up exams. If she missed the final, the policy was that she could retake it provided that they take 10 points off and she had to pay for the scantron.

After exam: she just really wanted the baby out, because being pregnant is tough.

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Lets see, 1st pregnancy was totally planned, I worked as an LPN the whole time, and the last few months really sucked. 2nd pregnancy, wanted to wait till after RN school but had an oops. Ended up delivering a few months after graduating, and I was also working full time throughout. For some reason that one was much easier!

Point is, you can plan for the "right time" which may never come or take a chance and go for it. Whatever you choose, it will work out somehow. Just think about what is most important right now.

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Specializes in ER.

I would wait till after school if possible and try to wait till FMLA kicks in. The last thing I would want is to end up on bed rest. We had one woman who delivered fine and was able to go back to clinical with 48 hours of delivering birth. Another one had to drop a class and take two clinicals at the same time in order to graduate. She almost ended up with a hysterectomy because they were unable to initially control her bleeding.

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I think that deep down, we can *usually* ballpark our own limitations and abilities. I married a wonderful man with his own son and was a supportive, active stepmom in that very troubled child's life for many years. We eventually decided that having our own biological child just wasn't a priority for us. That said, only you know what's best for you, and how much energy, etc. you have to delegate to each part of your life. If you can wait until after nursing school, I sure would, but only you know what's best for you. Good luck! :) I'm starting a BSN program in August, and I know that many of them are moms.

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I don't have to make that decision because I had my children before school and my youngest in 4. However, I did have primary infertility which turned out to be hashimoto's thyroiditis and now I have PCOS. I still suggest waiting until after you finish school is finished, although I personally don't think it matters about before or after a job. A job can be put on pause. But when you are ready the absolute best book to help you with conception issues is Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I cannot say enough about this book. There are 1,700 reviews between the 2 editions and it still ranks 5/5 on Amazon and that is rare for any book. Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health: Toni Weschler: 9780060881900: Amazon.com: Books I suggest reading it now, to know what is really is going on with your body so when the time comes, you will be prepared. :) Best Wishes in both Nursing School and starting a family.

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To the OP

I am very thankful that you made this thread. My husband and I are in a very similar position as you. I already have a B.A. degree and was also just accepted into an ADN program. I've been having fertility issues as well and your questions are exactly what has been going through my head over and over again. I would love to know what you eventually decide.

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