I wrote this today just to kind of vent and to see if anyone out there can understand. This is a very long post and may sound jumbled but my main point is my frustration.
Well I will start off by saying that I am different from my classmates in the sense that I am NOT a prude and I truly hate prudes. I have my reasons, which are many, for hating them but mostly because I feel it is silly to look at most things as being bad or awful or sad and feeling sad that you can't help everyone. I just really think that's stupid.
Im the type of female that is rough around the edges....I always have been and I always will be. I can give you all a good example of how I feel I stand out in that sense using a clinical experience:
---We were doing our mental health clinical rotation and a few students decided to go to the children/adolescent unit. A week later, the instructor asked them how it was and they said it was so sad and they almost cried and said it was soooo hard seeing kids as young as 8 in a place like that and blah blah blah. Well I had to chime in and tell the instructor that I really don't see what's so sad about it actually. I would rather see 6-10 year olds in here with conducts disorders and behavioral disabilities and signs of mental illness receiving help while their young than to wait until they are 14, 15, 16 years old to bring them in after they have killed their parents, killed a classmate, attempted to blow-up a school, etc. The instructor saw the logic in what I was saying but they all thought I was hard-hearted. I think it's just a pity that people are like that yet they want to be nurses. You say you HATE mental health and want to go into pediatrics but you can't stand seeing kids locked in mental facilities wow I wonder how you would be if you saw a kid seizing or gasping for air....the kid would probably die because you are in shock.
And people in mental health clinical who do not participate because they are scared of the patient. Psych nursing is my forte....its what I want to do and the people in the clinical group know that. So during each clinical I have people that cling to me if you will and follow me and my patient around instead of finding their own patient like we're supposed to and that kind of behavior makes me want to swing at them and tell them to please get the hell away from me and get your own patient. Do not follow me and my patient around. These are people not zoo animals so please stop acting like that you imbecile. But of course I can't say anything like that to someone with prudish behavior they may cry hysterically.
Another example: During lectures I just sit there and take in the information I need via note-taking and recording and each day before class I pray that the instructor will be able to get through the lecture without any of those idiots bringing up things causing the instructor to go off-topic. And BEHOLD....each day, it happens. We can NEVER get straight through a lecture without someone bringing up a movie or their hobby or medicine their kids used to take and blah blah blah. My brain is screaming, "shut the hell up". The instructor we have with a 2 hour lecture NEVER gets through all the notes and he/she would be able to if the students did not talk so much or throw their focus on other things. I feel like they don't have much respect for the people who don't get things right off the bat. I just want to say shut the hell up and let us listen. Since you all know everything don't even bother showing up for class.
I said "stand-out" but I really don't know what to call it when you're not apart of the in-crowds or cliques or whatever. I am not a mean person by any means but all the talking and socializing, I do not know why, but it irritates me badly. And because these people are sooooo highly sensitive and silly, then I know if I say something it will be taken the wrong way. It SUCKS and I mean S-U-C-K-S to have to wake up in the morning and put on a fake-face before you go to school. I couldn't be who I really am and if I were the people up there would die.
I am very serious about nursing school and with this class of people I guess that's off-putting. There were a few people who used to talk to me that no longer do and I have no idea why. I can't say that it doesn't hurt but at the same time it's like oh well.....I want to focus on my studies and if that makes me a bad person then I guess that is what I will be.
I am sick to death of being here though and I swear these people will be the reason for me leaving nursing school. I really don't care about what people think of me but the disruption of class and the poor participation in mental health clinical because you're scared of the patients or you're sad to see the kids there is just something that really and truly gets very deeply
under my skin and makes me just want to burst. I hate prudes I really do and I have asked my Higher Power for help with this matter and to help me release the hatred that I have in my heart for these people and the dread I feel when I wake up each morning knowing I have to see them. It is also strange to me because the nurses we interact with in clinical are nowhere near prude and I LOVE them so much. They are honest but at the same time caring and I have never seen a nurse baby a patient or act as if a patient's situation was so bad that they couldn't handle it. I have also never seen the nurses in med-surg clinical act with such an attitude that "all is righteous and all they do has to be righteous" and blah blah blah. Those nurses have spunk and pizazz so I don't understand why these students act that way.
I really do have a choice whether to be here or not but I feel like I have come too far to quit but at the same time I want to avoid anything that may make me burst or make me just show my true self and one of these prudes faints and dies or runs to tell the department chair. I really don't know what to do but I know how I feel. I feel like I should be here but I ask myself everyday......do I really want to do nursing so bad that I have to be around people I truly hate? My brain is just so overloaded with confusion, sadness, anger....etc.
OP, I was very much a student like you. I could not stand most of my classmates. I have completed an LPN and an RN program, and am in the final stretch of a BSN program, where I still cannot stand the majority of my classmates.
I know I'm going to sound arrogant here, but I'm a great student, I have a lot of acute care experience, I have another degree from a well respected university, and I am in classes with people who can't correctly conjugate a verb to save their lives, who have minimal reading comprehension abilities, and who apparently do not read or watch anything other than Fox News, and certainly not with a discerning ear. The constant interruptions in class to tell stories made me crazy; I finally started to bring my knitting to class, so that I felt like I was actually accomplishing something during these unnecessary tangents. These people drove me crazy, because all I could see were these irritating aspects.
In reality, I'm sure I was no less irritating. I have little tolerance for stupidity; but there's a lot of space between stupidity and simply needing clarification or a little additional information, and I don't always see it. I lose patience quickly with those who don't pick up concepts as quickly as I do. My mind is not a plodding, methodical mind; it jumps quickly; but I have difficulty working closely with those whose minds process information in other ways. I'm not a group work kind of gal, I would actually rather just do all the work myself, because then I know it's well done. Obviously there are some control issues, as well. I'm also pretty mouthy, adding icing to the cake. I'm sure I was an insufferable know it all during class; but at the time, I absolutely did not care. I was doing what I needed to do to learn the material and get through school. My classmates were doing likewise, and our methods were not typically compatible.
So, OP, give your classmates a bit of a break. They're good people, too. Just vastly different personalities than yours. They have their place in nursing, as do you. I have found that med/surg is a great fit for me, and I love it when I float to ED, ICU, or step-down. I need a fast-paced, varied, challenging environment to keep my attention and to keep me happy. Night shift also works well for my personality. Our night shift is full of strong personalities, and while it occasionally leads to the butting of heads, it also means that we get our issues out in the open and clear the air. No simmering issues on my floor; and we know we can depend upon one another for back up when everything goes to he** some nights.
Get through nursing school, and you'll find your fit. There are actually many nurses like yourself, who aren't into the schmaltz, who like the challenge of a difficult area of nursing (I've got med/surg, you apparently have psych), and you'll find your niche, just like your classmates will find theirs.
I can be honest -- some of my classmates make me angry. I think it is a perfectly acceptable emotion and don't feel I need to minimize it by using a euphemism like "frustrated" or "irritated". However, the fact that I get angry is my problem not theirs. What I am clear about is that my poop stinks too.
How I conduct myself when I am angry is what separates me from others. This will always be the case in the workplace. I can dislike people and still work with them and we can function as a successful team.
I don't get it. I don't get what no one gets about the OP's post. More and more I notice that when someone comes here to 'vent' they get strung up by the heels to dry. If the post were the complete opposite, then there would be a positive reponse to the OP to ignore the Debbie Downer and keep doing what your doing-you're going to be a great nurse! I love the whole nurses should only fart fairy dust attitude-super awesome. The post and the feelings were very raw--yes, I agree, but who hasn't felt like this at one point or another in life? Please step forward Jesus and allow me to worship you.
Instead of getting caught up in the specific definition of a word, I actually understood what she was trying to relate. I may be wrong, but I took it as her saying that some people in her class were being overly dramatic about what they came across in the clinicals. There are far more serious things going on in the world--hell, sometimes in their own communities that don't touch them in the least. But when they get to school, I guess the situation calls for misty eyes and the shameful shaking head act. Some have relatively 'good' lives where the worst thing they've experienced is missing the blow out sale at Macy's. Is it wrong to be angry at that kind of naivety, innocence (whatever) maybe. But being annoyed by it after a time, is normal.
She's human guys, cut her some slack. Heck, start cutting each other some slack.
I understand that you feel you are different from your classmates. I feel the same way. I am a second degree student with several years of career experience, where most of my classmates are traditional college juniors. So there is definitely a maturity gap. I have to keep that in mind when I'm at school or clinical--their behaviors may be immature and irritating to me, but that's really more MY problem (what they are doing bothers ME) than their problem.
Also, you might try thinking further about some of the issues that bother you, or talking to a therapist. Some of the statements you made, particularly "I truly hate prudes," make me think that there is more to explore here. Another way to think about it that might help you deal with people who bother you is to not define the person as a whole. Say you think Susan is a "prude." But maybe it's just one certain, repeated, frustrating (to you) behavior that she is exhibiting that is prudish. Maybe Susan is actually a nice person, despite that one behavior. So instead of defining Susan as a "Prude," maybe you can just recognize that "What Susan is doing right now is irritating to me."
There is no way you can change other people's behavior. And if you write off everyone who displays an annoying quality or behavior, you will probably not find many people you can get along with, because nobody's perfect. But you can control how you react to other people's annoying qualities. I would focus on that.
You want everyone to cut the OP slack, for their inability to cut others slack?
I don't get it. I don't get what no one gets about the OP's post. More and more I notice that when someone comes here to 'vent' they get strung up by the heels to dry. If the post were the complete opposite, then there would be a positive reponse to the OP to ignore the Debbie Downer and keep doing what your doing-you're going to be a great nurse! I love the whole nurses should only fart fairy dust attitude-super awesome. The post and the feelings were very raw--yes, I agree, but who hasn't felt like this at one point or another in life? Please step forward Jesus and allow me to worship you.
Instead of getting caught up in the specific definition of a word, I actually understood what she was trying to relate. I may be wrong, but I took it as her saying that some people in her class were being overly dramatic about what they came across in the clinicals. There are far more serious things going on in the world--hell, sometimes in their own communities that don't touch them in the least. But when they get to school, I guess the situation calls for misty eyes and the shameful shaking head act. Some have relatively 'good' lives where the worst thing they've experienced is missing the blow out sale at Macy's. Is it wrong to be angry at that kind of naivety, innocence (whatever) maybe. But being annoyed by it after a time, is normal.
She's human guys, cut her some slack. Heck, start cutting each other some slack.
Honestly, CuriousMe, take it as you perceive it. My main focus should have been to give the OP some sort of support and/or understanding--not to guide others down the same course I chose to follow in regards to this particular post.
I think I shall unsubscribe from this thread. It leaves an unsavory taste in my mouth.
Honestly, CuriousMe, take it as you perceive it. My main focus should have been to give the OP some sort of support and/or understanding--not to guide others down the same course I chose to follow in regards to this particular post.
I think I shall unsubscribe from this thread. It leaves an unsavory taste in my mouth.
I have a tough time supporting/understanding someone as they degrade others. With that in mind though, I think the theme of this thread has been very supportive for the OP in that there have been several suggestions for the OP to seek out some assistance from a professional in their area.
There's a lot of people on this board, and when someone posts, should they really expect responses only from those who agree with them?
I read all of your posts, and I can see two things that you can practically work on to improve your situation.
First, some have already said this, but maybe not quite this directly - you need to be more assertive. It seems like you have a missing assertive middle-ground between aggressive ("get away from me!") and passive (saying nothing and pretending not to be upset). Work on finding your assertive self - the one who after clinicals are over approaches the shadowing fellow student, takes a deep breath, and gently says "Why did you follow me all day today?" Then, pauses, and hears what they have to say, then follows up by saying "I appreciate that, but I have to be honest - I really do not like being followed around."
Whenever I'm searching for my assertive voice, I try to limit myself to three statements - "I want", "I don't want", and "I feel". If I cannot find something to say that starts with one of those three things, I try to calm down first. Communicating with people like this really helps me. It helps me be honest about my own perspective, and it helps other people hear what I have to say. I can say, "I don't like your tone of voice. I feel angry." That is honest, but it is a lot different from "You jerk! How dare you talk to me that way!"
Second, you say you are very annoyed by the other students. That defintely comes across!! But I don't think it means you'll make a bad nurse. You seem to do well being empathetic towards your patients; maybe you can try the same with the other students. It sounds like some of the other students might have a lot less experience than you do in life in general, or with mental health patients in particular. That can be pretty annoying, as some other posters have said - they were annoyed too. If fellow students lack experience and insight and you have more in some areas, maybe that is why they follow you. Maybe there is a way you can take that as a compliment, and find a way to interact with them that would be helpful to them and comfortable for you.
each day before class I pray that the instructor will be able to get through the lecture without any of those idiots bringing up things causing the instructor to go off-topic. And BEHOLD....each day, it happens. We can NEVER get straight through a lecture without someone bringing up a movie or their hobby or medicine their kids used to take and blah blah blah. My brain is screaming, "shut the hell up".
That’s funny because I have a feeling youa re one of those people.. maybe you don’t do it in lecture but I bet you were so pumped in pre/post conference for any opportunity to bring up the fact that you worked in psych once..
Psych nursing is my forte...
When I worked at the mental facility back in 2002, a female patient spit in my face and a male patient pushed me on the couch and almost pounced on me....
Prior to coming to nursing school I worked in the psych setting and I loved every minute of it.
I agree with you I doubt Im mentally prepared right now as well because when I was working at the mental facility a few years back I only interacted with the patients and never the staff.
yeah, we get it, you worked at a psych facility once. you are awesome. now in your own words, shut the hell up.
i cant stand the people that love to talk about themselves and all their healthcare experience all the time, and i also cant stand the students that are so full of themselves that they think everyone is targeting them. you sound like you are purposely making yourself a loner, stop overgeneralizing people in your class. they do not share one personality, im sure there have to be some competent people in your class...
oh im not angry im just irritated. lol lol lol lol lol lol.
I read all of your posts, and I can see two things that you can practically work on to improve your situation.
First, some have already said this, but maybe not quite this directly - you need to be more assertive. It seems like you have a missing assertive middle-ground between aggressive ("get away from me!") and passive (saying nothing and pretending not to be upset). Work on finding your assertive self - the one who after clinicals are over approaches the shadowing fellow student, takes a deep breath, and gently says "Why did you follow me all day today?" Then, pauses, and hears what they have to say, then follows up by saying "I appreciate that, but I have to be honest - I really do not like being followed around."
Whenever I'm searching for my assertive voice, I try to limit myself to three statements - "I want", "I don't want", and "I feel". If I cannot find something to say that starts with one of those three things, I try to calm down first. Communicating with people like this really helps me. It helps me be honest about my own perspective, and it helps other people hear what I have to say. I can say, "I don't like your tone of voice. I feel angry." That is honest, but it is a lot different from "You jerk! How dare you talk to me that way!"
Second, you say you are very annoyed by the other students. That defintely comes across!! But I don't think it means you'll make a bad nurse. You seem to do well being empathetic towards your patients; maybe you can try the same with the other students. It sounds like some of the other students might have a lot less experience than you do in life in general, or with mental health patients in particular. That can be pretty annoying, as some other posters have said - they were annoyed too. If fellow students lack experience and insight and you have more in some areas, maybe that is why they follow you. Maybe there is a way you can take that as a compliment, and find a way to interact with them that would be helpful to them and comfortable for you.
Wow, I didn't think this thread would still be here, lol. Well, this has got to be the best response! You are right that I need to work on my assertiveness and I did that today and it went really well. The classmate wasn't following me, but she was making the patient a little uncomfortable by lingering around while we were talking; kind of standing over him really. I just asked her if she wanted to sit and she sat and talked to another patient. The classmate and I had an AWESOME day with our patients, oh my gosh it was so great. So....Im learning, lol. As others have said, I need therapy or something, lol. I mean....nice suggestion but I didn't come to nursing school to CHANGE who I am. I came here to learn. And that includes learning things about myself as well. And yes you are right, the assertiveness is something that is very much a work in progress. I saw my posts too and saw that I failed too mention that the reason I called a few of these people prudes is because of the dramatics during clinicals and then outside of class they're cursing because they "had a "stupid" bowel incontinent patient that f***ed up their labcoat when they were cleaning up heaps of s***". I have also heard things like, "I don't even clean up s*** and **** I leave it to the aide that's what they get paid for". That is also the reason I called them fake. They say one thing to seem so overly caring then as soon as we get out of clinical or class, barely out of the parking lot, they're cursing someone. It's confusing.
You also said that I have more experience than the other students and that's a great observation. I graduated with BS and BA in computer science and digital graphics and production back in 2007. I have done my years and as someone else mentioned the people Im in school with are undergrad college juniors. So the maturity level is different. When they're interrupting vital information that an instructor is giving with their silly little anecdotes, yes I get upset, but I have to remember they're basically still kids struggling to be adults and I've crossed that bridge and back, lol. So I am working on it and thank you for your observations. Even though I came off so strong and raw and rough in my initial post, I know what I meant and what I was trying to say. It just came off as mumbo jumbo a little. And people can disagree with me....that is fine. I don't care about being judged much because I know that no one is perfect. A nurse's job is not perfect, no perfect nurses exist and no perfect nursing students exist. As we are learning how to care for patient's in diverse settings in clinical and didactic, we are also learning ourselves and each other. I have three more semesters so I still have lots to learn.
Actually, I think that it's more common than not for folks to be changed in nursing school....just part of the process.
Wow, I didn't think this thread would still be here, lol. Well, this has got to be the best response! You are right that I need to work on my assertiveness and I did that today and it went really well. The classmate wasn't following me, but she was making the patient a little uncomfortable by lingering around while we were talking; kind of standing over him really. I just asked her if she wanted to sit and she sat and talked to another patient. The classmate and I had an AWESOME day with our patients, oh my gosh it was so great. So....Im learning, lol. As others have said, I need therapy or something, lol. I mean....nice suggestion but I didn't come to nursing school to CHANGE who I am. I came here to learn. And that includes learning things about myself as well. And yes you are right, the assertiveness is something that is very much a work in progress. I saw my posts too and saw that I failed too mention that the reason I called a few of these people prudes is because of the dramatics during clinicals and then outside of class they're cursing because they "had a "stupid" bowel incontinent patient that f***ed up their labcoat when they were cleaning up heaps of s***". I have also heard things like, "I don't even clean up s*** and **** I leave it to the aide that's what they get paid for". That is also the reason I called them fake. They say one thing to seem so overly caring then as soon as we get out of clinical or class, barely out of the parking lot, they're cursing someone. It's confusing.
You also said that I have more experience than the other students and that's a great observation. I graduated with BS and BA in computer science and digital graphics and production back in 2007. I have done my years and as someone else mentioned the people Im in school with are undergrad college juniors. So the maturity level is different. When they're interrupting vital information that an instructor is giving with their silly little anecdotes, yes I get upset, but I have to remember they're basically still kids struggling to be adults and I've crossed that bridge and back, lol. So I am working on it and thank you for your observations. Even though I came off so strong and raw and rough in my initial post, I know what I meant and what I was trying to say. It just came off as mumbo jumbo a little. And people can disagree with me....that is fine. I don't care about being judged much because I know that no one is perfect. A nurse's job is not perfect, no perfect nurses exist and no perfect nursing students exist. As we are learning how to care for patient's in diverse settings in clinical and didactic, we are also learning ourselves and each other. I have three more semesters so I still have lots to learn.
That’s funny because I have a feeling youa re one of those people.. maybe you don’t do it in lecture but I bet you were so pumped in pre/post conference for any opportunity to bring up the fact that you worked in psych once..
Psych nursing is my forte...
When I worked at the mental facility back in 2002, a female patient spit in my face and a male patient pushed me on the couch and almost pounced on me....
Prior to coming to nursing school I worked in the psych setting and I loved every minute of it.
I agree with you I doubt Im mentally prepared right now as well because when I was working at the mental facility a few years back I only interacted with the patients and never the staff.
yeah, we get it, you worked at a psych facility once. you are awesome. now in your own words, shut the hell up.
i cant stand the people that love to talk about themselvesand all their healthcare experience all the time, and i also cant stand the students that are so full of themselves that they think everyone is targeting them. you sound like you are purposely making yourself a loner, stop overgeneralizing people in your class. they do not share one personality, im sure there have to be some competent people in your class...
oh im not angry im just irritated. lol lol lol lol lol lol.
Lol, as silly as you sound you have valid points and have also validated some of my points as to how people who claim they have a "nursing" attitude are. You, just like me, have personal issues within yourself that you should work on as well (see the underlined) This post is old though! I've had clinical like twice since then and have addressed my issues with an assertive attitude and it was greatly appreciated. Things are so much better now. But thanks for posting and thanks for your opinion and maybe we can work on our issues together......just a thought.
BluegrassRN
1,188 Posts
OP, I was very much a student like you. I could not stand most of my classmates. I have completed an LPN and an RN program, and am in the final stretch of a BSN program, where I still cannot stand the majority of my classmates.
I know I'm going to sound arrogant here, but I'm a great student, I have a lot of acute care experience, I have another degree from a well respected university, and I am in classes with people who can't correctly conjugate a verb to save their lives, who have minimal reading comprehension abilities, and who apparently do not read or watch anything other than Fox News, and certainly not with a discerning ear. The constant interruptions in class to tell stories made me crazy; I finally started to bring my knitting to class, so that I felt like I was actually accomplishing something during these unnecessary tangents. These people drove me crazy, because all I could see were these irritating aspects.
In reality, I'm sure I was no less irritating. I have little tolerance for stupidity; but there's a lot of space between stupidity and simply needing clarification or a little additional information, and I don't always see it. I lose patience quickly with those who don't pick up concepts as quickly as I do. My mind is not a plodding, methodical mind; it jumps quickly; but I have difficulty working closely with those whose minds process information in other ways. I'm not a group work kind of gal, I would actually rather just do all the work myself, because then I know it's well done. Obviously there are some control issues, as well. I'm also pretty mouthy, adding icing to the cake. I'm sure I was an insufferable know it all during class; but at the time, I absolutely did not care. I was doing what I needed to do to learn the material and get through school. My classmates were doing likewise, and our methods were not typically compatible.
So, OP, give your classmates a bit of a break. They're good people, too. Just vastly different personalities than yours. They have their place in nursing, as do you. I have found that med/surg is a great fit for me, and I love it when I float to ED, ICU, or step-down. I need a fast-paced, varied, challenging environment to keep my attention and to keep me happy. Night shift also works well for my personality. Our night shift is full of strong personalities, and while it occasionally leads to the butting of heads, it also means that we get our issues out in the open and clear the air. No simmering issues on my floor; and we know we can depend upon one another for back up when everything goes to he** some nights.
Get through nursing school, and you'll find your fit. There are actually many nurses like yourself, who aren't into the schmaltz, who like the challenge of a difficult area of nursing (I've got med/surg, you apparently have psych), and you'll find your niche, just like your classmates will find theirs.