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1,459 Posts

Yes, because it's better to shame your daughter in public in front of everyone, right? I don't have kids, but my Mom would've taken me aside and talked to me about why I couldn't do whatever instead of talking about it in the middle of the waiting room where everyone and their relatives could hear. The girl is a minor - parent should've talked to the doctor, learned why they wanted the MRI, and figured out if it was emergent and if there was any way they could afford it.

Shame on the mother indeed. That poor girl. I doubt she'll ask for any tests in the future because of this incident.

If at sixteen, the teen is dumb enough not to know how to speak in low tones in a public environment, then she needs more learning.

How did she shame the daughter? She shamed herself more then the daughter!

Doctor should also have requested to speak to the patient's parent or did he/she not recognise that patient was a minor? Upon being told no, that patient could not have the procedure, a prudent doctor might have referred the patient to the nurse to consider other options or come out to speak with the parent.

But that would be me passing judgement on the doctor.


218 Posts

Specializes in SICU/CVICU. Has 36 years experience.
You with your hasty judgement on the mother, shame on that post.

How can you sit on your computer and pronounce judgment on her? Did you not read where the mother said she could not pay for the MRI. How can you possibly tell, it was not shame or embarrassment or hurt that she could not pay the bill and so had her daughter go in let the doctor know that.

And if I said shame on the doctor who treated her and saw a need for the MRI but did not offer any other options, would that solve the problem? No it would not dear, because the teen would still not have the MRI.

So instead of pronouncing judgement on another, we should instead look to see how to make the system work- the healthcare system is skewed... very skewed.

True, the mother might have gone in, but we don't know why she didnt. Keep your judgmental opinions to yourself!

What about your judgmental opinion?

RNperdiem, RN

4,591 Posts

Has 14 years experience.

When I found myself short on funds to pay for my son's MRI, I contacted the office manager and arranged a payment plan so I could pay it off over a few months.

My son got the MRI, the money got paid and the Radiology company was very flexible in letting me set my own payment schedule.

Specializes in Peds Hem, Onc, Med/Surg. Has 8 years experience.

There be a lot of shame on this thread.......


932 Posts

If the dr. wanted the girl to have an MRI and the mother said she couldn't afford it and sent the girl back to tell the doctor, wouldn't the doctor have made an effort to bring the mother in to discuss options? I am having a hard time understanding how a doctor would just let something like that go.

I'm also not understanding a mother taking her kid to the doc, presumably because she was concerned about the daughter's well being, and then getting an order for a tx, and then just walking out without discussing it with the doctor. Or even talking to the doctor about other options, or even just going into the exam room with her daughter for the initial exam.


1,459 Posts

What about your judgmental opinion?

English is not that much hard to understand, you know.

tyvin, BSN, RN

1,620 Posts

Specializes in Hospice / Psych / RNAC.

Don't minors have to be supervised at doc visits? I know where I live they do because my son tried the I want to go in by myself thing and they came and got me and told me he was a minor and therefore had to have a guardian present. Also in my state if someone needs something I know for a fact all they have to do is put forth some effort to find help.

My friend's son just had to have an ingrown toenail taken care of and the doc only charged $60 for the whole thing. We have pay for scale clinics in every part of the island. If you need something and you don't get it here you're not trying. In Hawaii we take care of our own.

psu_213, BSN, RN

3,878 Posts

Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant. Has 14 years experience.
Yesterday, I had an appointment scheduled with my PCP. There were several people in the waiting room, but it was quiet.

After a few minutes, a teenage girl, maybe 16 yrs old or so came out from the exam room area over to an older woman sitting across from me.

The conversation went something like this.

Teenage girl"I have to have an MRI".

Older woman, presumably mom" You are not going to have an MRI! Who's going to pay for it?"

Girl"I need to have an MRI for my headaches".

Mom "You can't have an MRI, you need to go back and tell them that".

At that point, mom repeated that she couldn't pay for an MRI, and sent the girl back to the exam room. The girl did not look happy, but went back. Mom got up and headed down the stairs, girl came back out and followed her mom out.

The problems with health care just don't go away.I can totally understand mom's dilemma. She cared enough to take the girl to the doctor, but had no money to pay for the care. God willing, this girl has no life threatening problem, but what can we do in cases like this? It's just sad.

What makes me most sad (mad?) about this situation is that here is someone going to their PCP, is recommended a test and they/their family can't afford it. They had to walk away when their might have been something more serious to be discovered. At the same time, someone with a sore throat calls 911, goes to the ER, has much expensive testing and pays nothing. What a broken system.

psu_213, BSN, RN

3,878 Posts

Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant. Has 14 years experience.
English is not that much hard to understand, you know.

I'm glad I got to post in this thread before staff shuts it down for all the rudeness that borders on personal attacks...


1,459 Posts

I'm glad I got to post in this thread before staff shuts it down for all the rudeness that borders on personal attacks...

In a conversation, a mature adult should be able to make a seperation from the individual and the comment. I make responses based on comments as I specifically mentioned in a comment to differentiate that I hold nothing against the poster just that particular comment.

I'm glad you got to post in this thread:)


229 Posts

Specializes in OB, ER. Has 12 years experience.

My first thought was stupid, unfeeling mother. The girl went to an appointment by herself, got the scary news that something might be wrong and she needed and MRI, then was told she couldn't get it. Mom should have been part of all of that and not in the waiting room. Mom did not even consider the MRI just blatently said no and sent the poor girl in to tell the staff because she wasn't woman enough to do it. How sad to make your 16 year old your scapegoat.

I understand being poor but I do not understand being an unfeeling mother. At least discuss the options before blatently saying no and walking out the door.

Whispera, MSN, RN

3,458 Posts

Specializes in psych, addictions, hospice, education.

I think the shame on the mother remarks were because most moms would have handled the detail for their 16 year old children rather than telling them to do it themselves. Mom also was leaving without her daughter, until daughter came out and followed her. Imagine daughter's emotions on being put in this situation. It strikes me as intense and hurtful from all sides.

I work in a free clinic. People who have no insurance are clients. There are many tests and treatments no one will pay for and the funds people can give them for such tests and treatment only stretch so far. An MRI will cost $250. That's alot of money to come up with, for anyone, but especially for someone with no insurance and not much money even for food or shelter.

If an MRI was too much, someone telling the doctor it was impossible, was a necessary thing. Often there are other diagnostic tests that don't cost so much. Also, sometimes doctors order the highpriced tests, just to make sure/give the diagnosis a tweak, so to speak. Maybe treatment wouldn't be different if there's a definite diagnosis compared to a probable one?